Tuesday, March 10, 2009

My Computer Is Trying To Get Me Fired

I'm approaching 100 posts here on what some people have said is The World's Most Incredible And Awesome Blog That Has Barely Been Discovered But Soon Will Take Over The Blogosphere And Win All The Blog Awards.

ahem

So I thought I'd read back through my old post to reminisce about the beginning of The Most Influential Blog Ever Written By A Woman Besides The Bloggess, Who Clearly Cannot Be Touched. That's What She Said.

oopsie daisies

I forgot to mention I'm doing this reading of my blog at work, in my tiny cubelet with my back facing the hallway. So there I am, reading reading reading laughing laughing laughing appreciating my own hilarity....when suddenly my computer fan starts whirring and it sounds like my hard drive is on the runway preparing to take off. Everything on the monitor freezes, including my mouse. I hear footsteps coming down the hallway towards me and I go into panic mode. I'm at work! I'm supposed to be working! I can't close the internet in time! Aah ahaa aaaahh!

And in the middle of my internal freak out, I realize my screen is frozen on my blowjob post. My boss is going to stop to ask me a question and he'll be all "Miss Yvonne, did you forget the cover sheet for your TPS report? Oh my goodness gracious, what is that on your computer??? I do believe it says the word 'blowjob'! Well, that's completely inappropriate for the workplace and totally inexcusable and could I please see you in my office because I dropped something under my desk I'd like you to pick up? "

But thanks to my cat-like reflexes and steel trap of a mind, I managed to hit the power button on my monitor before the boss man walked by. Because he's really short and scrawny and I don't think I would fit very well under his desk.

8 comments:

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Cat-like reflexes evolved for just that reason...making on-the-spot decisions about how to best hide internet porn when someone approaches. It's how they survived back in caveman days.

Kurt said...

This is why you WILL rule one day, because you are nimble and wily and full of the hijinx and funny as hell. Happy 100!

Betsey Booms said...

I was sitting here, shouting, turn off the monitor, do it, turn it OFFFFFF BIIIITTTTCH!

And then you did it.

And my TPS report is sitting here mocking me... but the good news if I have the most bomb ass Swingline. It's not red, but it's retro and this incredibly heavy metal.

I love stapler.

Brandy Rose said...

And thats why I work from home. I'm boss. And if I walk up behind me while I was messing around when I was supposed to be working, I wouldn't mind so much....Its also why I now have split personality...

Marion in Savannah said...

Bless Betsey Booms for introducing you to me. The only downside? Now there's another blog I have to read every single day...

(You might want to consider rearranging the cube if possible... I've been in a similar predicament, but it was playing solitaire to keep from dying of boredom. Now I can see them coming...)

Lulu said...

PLEASE....I beg you. Write my blog. I will rightsize my administrative task functional project to you to optimize my blog writing outsourcing dialogue.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Yesterday I was on a blog at work and suddenly it started repopulating 89 TIMES. There were 89 windows of this chicks blog on my computer and as fast as I would turn them off they'd pop back up. It was like Space Invaders but with blogs. I'm totally going to get fired when my boss sees my internet report.

Miss Yvonne said...

Wait, they have internet reports at jobs? Oh shit.