Carlos Spicy Weiner is still in doggie jail.
Captain Carl is not giving in, people. I'm thinking of withholding sex. I was thinking of withholding blowjobs first, but then I remembered that I'm married and therefore am already doing that. I gave the Captain a handy last night and I was all whispering "Do you feel like your 18 again and in the backseat of your dad's car?" and he was all "Oh yeah" and I was all "Feel good, baby?" and he was all "Mmmm hmmm" and then I was all "Enjoy it, because it's the last one you're getting until Carlos moves in" and then he was all "I can do this myself, nice try". So now I have to withhold sex altogether because the plastic pussy he has in the bedside drawer will only entertain him for so long.
Maybe if I sold "Save Carlos" t-shirts???
My First Huffington Post Piece
2 weeks ago