tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post8842348966617958476..comments2023-10-24T10:51:27.943-05:00Comments on Yo Mama's Blog: I Will Totally Cut A Bitch, Even If She's ImaginaryMiss Yvonnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17846050528788481201noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-46061329768267994132010-12-31T00:05:42.207-06:002010-12-31T00:05:42.207-06:00Well, I am officially a stalker that is 99 percent...Well, I am officially a stalker that is 99 percent sure we should probably be friends. This is awesome. I will proceed to stay up and read the rest of your amazingness! :)Maehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17837191831597821307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-85857230710238004032010-01-24T10:33:07.203-06:002010-01-24T10:33:07.203-06:00That would suck if you had to live apart but you g...That would suck if you had to live apart but you gotta do what you gotta do.<br /><br />Just be watching out for Shelly.Sandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11462135507379897869noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-89178174817535422092010-01-24T06:54:14.495-06:002010-01-24T06:54:14.495-06:00Cut a bitch, cut a bitch!
What's probably goi...Cut a bitch, cut a bitch!<br /><br />What's probably going to happen, really, is Captain is totes going to get the job, and the new bosses are gonna be all, "You know, you're a class act, Captain. We're going to give you use of the company helicopter, so you can go home and bone your hot wife every night. Oh - and watch out for Shelly, the office whore. She's LOADED with gonorrhea."<br /><br />Then, when he flies home that night, he'll be like, "There's this chick Shelly who's kind of funny, but in the way that we laugh at her, not with her. And she has a pusy pussy. I'm glad I found you."<br /><br />(Slightly off-topic: gonorrhea? One "N," two "R"s. Who would have guessed?)Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322539753627427466noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-70486139580899436962010-01-23T11:38:37.397-06:002010-01-23T11:38:37.397-06:00I'm such a jealous psycho that this is my husb...I'm such a jealous psycho that this is my husband recounting his day: "So I asked Jeannie - she's like 50 - to tell accounting to have the reports fro Marianne - she's 27 but really overweight - in time for Heather - she just engaged - to file them."Sue Wilkeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06611804749003805841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-46689388371572108802010-01-22T19:04:04.169-06:002010-01-22T19:04:04.169-06:00Shelly has no chance. I don't think it's p...Shelly has no chance. I don't think it's possible Captain Carl could have eyes for anyone but you, even if she does like Indian food.Chrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11458043604859768732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-44170823055625415812010-01-22T18:23:51.113-06:002010-01-22T18:23:51.113-06:00I'm laughing out loud, as usual. Just recentl...I'm laughing out loud, as usual. Just recently, I was concerned about not sounding *smart* enough on my blog, and that I must sound totally ridiculous bitching about chicks, booz, bugs and my kids...but you have shown me the light. We bitches can be smart and educated and still TALK SOME GOOD SHIT.<br /><br />Amen.<br /><br />Thanks for showing me the light.<br /><br />BTW, want me to come over and totally kick this Shelly's ass? Cause I will.Tashahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09330605713290634407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-71191647906951262942010-01-22T16:16:29.520-06:002010-01-22T16:16:29.520-06:00Mmm, but if it worked out, you could get a cabana ...Mmm, but if it worked out, you could get a cabana boy during the week! Focus on the positives.BugginWordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11469980416319902081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-21075476518929992212010-01-22T16:00:53.168-06:002010-01-22T16:00:53.168-06:00I totally feel your pain on the money/job front. I...I totally feel your pain on the money/job front. It's just sooooo bloody difficult right now. There's nothing out there, is there?Richardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00568060698065303020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-62370828289953139032010-01-22T15:26:19.824-06:002010-01-22T15:26:19.824-06:00I'm a 'worrier' - if such a word exist...I'm a 'worrier' - if such a word exists - too! I come up with all sorta crazy stories about him cheating on me etc. It all pans out in my head like I'm writing my own movie and very soon I'll direct it too. :(<br /><br />He is supposed to leave for England soon and I've already started worrying. When I call him and he doesn't pick up, my brain automatically assumes he's had an accident.<br /><br />It's tiresome! *sighs*P.Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17723953585584026227noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-44400510025801374292010-01-22T14:28:52.143-06:002010-01-22T14:28:52.143-06:00My brain and your brain are like twinsies in the s...My brain and your brain are like twinsies in the sense that we both worry about how our husbands will die when they leave the house for five minutes. <br />My husband had to go to work at 2:30am the other day for an hour and I was up the whole time trying to keep my breathing to a slow and not heart attack inducing rate.<br />ain't love grand?J. Giuntahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03503539643228001366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-12468641298933220662010-01-22T13:04:44.490-06:002010-01-22T13:04:44.490-06:00My husband and I lived 3,000 miles apart (MI/CA) f...My husband and I lived 3,000 miles apart (MI/CA) for 4.5 years. We had to fly back and forth and tried to do so every 3 months, at least ($$$). He didn't even do it for a big money job! He was all, "my daughers blah blah blah." Aaaanyway, I just stopped by to tell you the reunions are exciting. Within three months of him moving here I was wishing he'd move away just so we could have summa that nasty-hot athletic sex again!<br /><br />PS - His first wife's name was Shelly and I would totally cut her if she ever came out of the witness protection program. Hmm...if she lives in Houston now, maybe I won't have to...mossumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05252239793254346813noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-56925104140320689132010-01-22T12:24:19.049-06:002010-01-22T12:24:19.049-06:00Aw, you guys are cute. But as someone who knows t...Aw, you guys are cute. But as someone who knows the astronomical prices hotels charge for phone calls, make sure <i>you</i> do all the calling!<br /><br />We will totally be all West Side Story on Shelly's ass if need be. You know we got your back!justmakingourwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01410133602131763514noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-14417563228589719482010-01-22T11:48:51.060-06:002010-01-22T11:48:51.060-06:00You know what would be funny? If Shelly's name...You know what would be funny? If Shelly's name was actually "Trista" and wasn't really from Houston but came on a visit from canada and instead of "Sex in the apartment" it was "Shank to the face and all your stuff stolen and taken to Ecuador". That'd be hillarious. Think about that.Tristachiohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18309788808214689569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-40880587701683272412010-01-22T11:06:38.983-06:002010-01-22T11:06:38.983-06:00Okay, I totally do this too. Well not this specifi...Okay, I totally do this too. Well not this specific scenario (that would just be weird) but the whole elaborate worry-story creation. Like, worrying about things that might maybe probably not happen five (or fifteen) years from now. I'm pretty sure this tendency is encoded on the same gene that gives you ovaries, men don't seem to do it.Soda and Candyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12935596856894830824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-27936196753326777012010-01-22T10:54:29.258-06:002010-01-22T10:54:29.258-06:00Shelley is totally a skanky whore!Shelley is totally a skanky whore!bikramyogachickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04685444498620345130noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-81955106732889970642010-01-22T10:45:23.263-06:002010-01-22T10:45:23.263-06:00Shelly is nothing but a bitch. I'm sure she...Shelly is nothing but a bitch. I'm sure she's totally ugly, too. Whore.<br /><br />I'm glad I'm not the only one who HATES being away from her husband. If we're not talking on the phone several times a day, we're texting or chatting. It's pretty sick. Distance will be tough, I'm sure, but the job is for six months and your love is forever. <br /><br />I can't believe I typed that.Amanda @ It's Blogworthyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14919340979575037179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-2256212440278509002010-01-22T09:52:10.891-06:002010-01-22T09:52:10.891-06:00Shelly best watch her back...fo' sho'.
Ju...Shelly best watch her back...fo' sho'.<br /><br />Just think of it this way - if the Captain gets the job and you DO have to spend the weekdays apart, the weekends will HAVE to be chock full of hot, dirty monkey sex to make up for the time spent apart.kate sweetenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05456543724486391157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-16719060839112982442010-01-22T09:51:43.078-06:002010-01-22T09:51:43.078-06:00Yikes, a whole year! I've been out of work si...Yikes, a whole year! I've been out of work since September, and it feels like it's been forever. <br /><br />Four hours is a loooong drive. Shelly better watch her homewreckin' step.Surfiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11669534977712083199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-48410461458542045112010-01-22T09:49:32.677-06:002010-01-22T09:49:32.677-06:00Think about the sex after being away from each oth...Think about the sex after being away from each other all week.<br />I'm sure all "Shelleys" are packing their suitcases and fleeing out of Houston after reading your post, just in case.<br />Hang in there, moron twin. Seriously, I feel your pain. It sucks to be away from the one you love.dianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16084010090761068139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-85649179154492453752010-01-22T09:40:53.202-06:002010-01-22T09:40:53.202-06:00Shelly is a dead woman.
I'm on my way with t...Shelly is a dead woman. <br /><br />I'm on my way with the shank.Mrs. Boomshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07327877419678061633noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-18331858397950598272010-01-22T09:34:27.638-06:002010-01-22T09:34:27.638-06:00Awwww. You guys are so cute. You remind me of this...Awwww. You guys are so cute. You remind me of this song from my childhood. It goes:<br /><br />"Miss Yvonne and Capt Carl* sitting in a tree, T-E-X-T-I-N-G**. First comes something something something something I forget the rest."<br /><br /><br />*The original version from my childhood didn't say Miss Yvonne and Capt Carl. I changed it. Otherwise, it would have been weird.<br /><br />**The original said K-I-S-S-I-N-G, but I updated it to reflect the times.Edhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11425014053974689270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-20154494250033680192010-01-22T08:53:00.270-06:002010-01-22T08:53:00.270-06:00FUCK SHELLY. I HATE HER.FUCK SHELLY. I HATE HER.miss. chiefhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07640004739888576783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-6063237715880789802010-01-22T08:36:12.074-06:002010-01-22T08:36:12.074-06:00My husband was laid off 2 years ago & I spent ...My husband was laid off 2 years ago & I spent 6 months of last year with him making a 6+ hour cmmoute each way on weekends to see me and the kids. <br />NOW? We are back in same position he just got antoher job 4+ hours away and we miss each other terribly. :(Tuesday Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01816799873933925204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-55679616211986194762010-01-22T08:02:02.440-06:002010-01-22T08:02:02.440-06:00This might be the single best blog title EVER. Go...This might be the single best blog title EVER. Good luck to the Captain in his job search.<br /><br />I love your blogs - you are amazingly funny. :-)Lindsayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00857893133927744438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216076627715549244.post-71199363802562120252010-01-22T08:00:45.297-06:002010-01-22T08:00:45.297-06:00Everyone always steals my jokes. Just pretend lik...Everyone always steals my jokes. Just pretend like every comment that made you laugh was written by me. <br /><br />And I'll come live with you for awhile...<br /><br />But...I'm absolutely positively no fun whatsoever.erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00513388452402495090noreply@blogger.com