Caution: Clicking here may cause your mind to blow from extreme awesomeness*. Also, your mom blows stuff, but it ain't minds. boo-ya.
Y'all.
Pee Wee Herman Abstinence Rings.
My life is now complete.
*I might have over-hyped the website slightly. I mean, a bag of vibrators would be pretty awesome too, I guess. But come on, y'all! They have Miss Yvonne bandanas!
Mind = blown.
ReplyDeleteHusband = not blown.
Not bad for a Friday morning.
Are those rings masturbation-safe?
ReplyDeleteI'm assuming they'd have to be.
I would think cock rings would be more Peewee's style.
ReplyDeleteHow long before you have the silver playsuit? That website is pretty incredible...I've always kind of wondered where I could get a Chairy sweat-band arm cuff.
ReplyDeleteI want the purity ring but if I get lucky will it burn me? I only ask because your mom is in town.
ReplyDeleteWhich appendage do you think that ring goes on?
ReplyDeleteOh man! I need that silver playsuit, and I need it YESTERDAY!
ReplyDeleteI want the tote bag just so I can say, "This is a totey tote bag."
ReplyDeleteHoly hell, Miss Y. I think you'll probably be getting a Miss Yvonne kerchief in your mailbox.
ReplyDeleteThough not from me. I draw the stalkery line somewhere. But what I thought was my inherent sense of decency and boundaries is slowly inching away from me, so maybe it will be me who sends it.
Give it a few months.
Oh I got that link on FB this morning and I immediately thought of you!!
ReplyDeletedid you see the video from Pee-wee's show with the marriage proposal?
It's a purity cock ring, duh. Cause of irony and shit. Probably.
ReplyDeleteI'm going tonight. If they have a merch stand I'm sending you something.
I don't think I'm quite ready for that ring yet. I'll take the bag full of vibrators.
ReplyDeleteNo Pee-Wee vibrators?
ReplyDeleteI'd have to go for the buttons (for my jean jacket). I wish they had more stuff. Like maybe a hologram mirror with the genie's face on it. Or how cool would a Miss Yvonne jewelry box be? When you open it, Miss Yvonne dances around like a ballerina.
ReplyDeleteThat was the greatest thing I have ever seen!
ReplyDelete...that's what she said...
But for reals, if I knew how to get mailage to you I would TOTALLY send you something uber special.
DAMMIT! We just spent our fun money on "adult" toys. I'd much rather have a PWH purity ring!
ReplyDeleteYou know what would be cool, if they had a little Pee-Wee Popcorn Butter Dispenser.
ReplyDeleteYou know, to commemorate his arrest for buttering peoples popcorn in that adult cinema.
Guess where the butter comes from.
Guess.
If you guessed your mom, you're only partially right.
I have a hunch your mom would prefer the bag-o-vibes.
ReplyDeleteJust sayin'
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOMFG. WANT.
ReplyDeleteCan you please, please, please start Miss Yvonne's Ring of Purity, and everyone who purchases and wears the ring and promises not to give any BJs to her husband gets to be in it?
Because that would be awesome. Because I would buy that ring, and while BJs are cool and all, it would be awesome to just have a built-in excuse other than, "I just took some Motrin and it made me really sleepy," so I could watch Jon Stewart. Not that I couldn't watch while giving a blowie, but I hate straining my eyes sideways like that. Plus, I'm really lazy.
You had me at bag full of vibrators, and now I can get my kids Pee Wee rings for purity? Wow! I love you.
ReplyDeleteI wish they had more chair-y products.
ReplyDeletemost of the vibraters are not harmful for the body because they are made up of non toxic material..
ReplyDelete