Today I Feel Old

Okey dokey....I've been pondering for a few days what the hey-ho-diddly-dey-do I'm going to write about on this blog thingy. See, I always figured I'd be way funny, hip and cool when I started one. Like The Bloggess. (Read her blog now...she's wicked funny) And now I'm totally sweating it because...me? Unintentionally funny. On demand funny? Not so much.


But today is a good day to start telling you about my life, so I guess I'll skip funny for now. My son turns 16 today. Wail, cry! Technically he is my stepson and I've only been in his life since he was 8 years old. But he lives full-time with his dad (Captain Carl) and me...he has since he was 8. And I have no biological children (I hate saying "I have no children of my own"....makes me feel like I've failed in life somehow. More on this later). So he's it for me.


This kiddo is one of the two greatest loves of my life (the other is his daddy), although I doubt he knows that. I mean, he knows I love him but I seriously doubt he understands the depth of that love. It is a throw-myself-in-front-of-a-moving-train-in-order-to-save-his-life kind of love. So yeah, I guess it's the love a regular old mom has for their child. I did not give birth to him and did not meet him early enough in his life to get the privilege of being called "Mom". His birth mother, who barely ever sees him or calls him, who can't be bothered to come see him perform in a band concert or just to visit with him....she gets that. But that's okay most of the time for me. Because I get his hugs and smiles every single day. I get to talk to him about school, his girlfriend, his music every night at dinner. I get to wash his laundry....okay, that's not so fun but still. You get the idea.


I asked him last night for the 100th time what he wants for his birthday. He just shrugged and said he didn't know...maybe just some money so he can buy another guitar. I looked at this child with his Billy Dee Williams moustache and a realization slammed into my gut. He is more of a man than a boy now. He treats birthdays exactly like my husband does...with a "whatever" kind of attitude...he's too busy with life to worry about one day, we can celebrate it on the weekend or whenever we get around to it. Right now he's more concerned with texting his girlfriend and playing guitar. Sniff.