Tuesday, September 20, 2011

That Dog Is Running With Purpose

While driving home from the movies last weekend...

Me: Look at that dog!
Him: I see him.
Me: Awww, he’s all white and cute and fluffy.
Him: *pretending his wife doesn't desperately want to adopt a dog* Looks dirty.
Me: Stop! He has a collar, we need to stop and catch him!
Him: Why?
Me: Because he’s obviously lost and maybe his owner’s number is on his collar.
Him: Doesn't look lost to me. He looks like he knows where he’s going.
Me: *stare* What?
Him: He’s running with purpose. He obviously knows his destination, so we don’t need to stop.
Me: He looks like he knows where he’s going? How is that even possible? He’s a dog. They all look like that when they run.
Him: He didn’t look confused at all.
Me: You mean if he were really lost, he’d look confused?
Him: Yeah. You know, he’d be stopping every five seconds to look around. Maybe he’d be looking up at the sky thoughtfully. Maybe he'd pretend to talk on his cell phone while he wandered aimlessly.
Me: That’s what you do when you can’t find our car in the parking lot.
Him: Exactly. That right there was a dog with a good sense of direction.
Me: *looking out back window* Oh great, I can’t see him anymore. I’m gonna be so mad at you if I see him dead on the side of the road tomorrow.

And then this morning I totally got this email from our subdivision HOA communications lady:

Subject: Oso loose again

Has anyone seen this dog?

Forwarded message:
Our 2 year old opened our back door around 6pm last night and let out our white Siberian husky again. If anyone has seen him, please call.

Me: *dialing phone* Great...just great.
Him: Hello?
Me: Yeah hi. Remember that dog that was running with purpose on Saturday night?
Him: Yep.
Me: Yeah, he was lost. Totally lost. I got an email about him this morning.
Him: Huh, no kidding.
Me: His name is Oso and he’s a white Siberian husky and his house is in the exact opposite direction from where he was running.
Him: That’s weird.
Me: Because you totally thought he knew where he was going.
Him: No, I meant that’s a weird name for a dog. Oso. No wonder he was running away. I’d run away too if that was my name.
Me: Now I have to call and tell them we saw their dog but we didn’t stop because my husband thought it looked like he knew where he was going.
Him: You should suggest they think of a better name for their next dog.
Me: You’re so helpful.
Him: It’s a gift.

p.s. The Captain and I are back on the wagon. We started the Couch to 5K program again this week. Someone help...my thighs are burning with so much purpose right now.


Eva Gallant said...

I love it! "He looks like he knows where he's going!"

Ed said...


Obviously the Capt was right!

SherilinR said...

your thighs are burning with purpose? i like that. mine felt like that when i kept riding a damn bike last week after 20 years off the bike wagon.

TexaGermaNadian said...

Haha, the cell phone comment cracked me up. Ya'll are too funny. But he is right, their next dog needs a new name :)1

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

One time when I was leaving my ex boss' house (in the mother fucking same gated community as Derek Fisher from the Lakers, Britney Spears, and one of the Jackson's all have houses) and I saw a little dog running frantically as if it was saying "HELP ME! I'M SO LOST!!"

I immediately came to a screeching halt, jumped out of my car, caught the damn dog like i was in a pig-roping contest, and took him up to the first door I saw. Turned out, that was his owner's house. It was a frail old lady who nearly burst into tears when she realized her dog had escaped. She thanked me and then shut the door. No prizes or reward money or even a fucking quesadilla. NOTHING.

That's the last time I ever help a rich person.

Nina Patricia @ The Adventures of Nina Patricia said...

Oso is bear in spanish...so kind of odd for a Husky...
I'm trying to convince the Hubs to the couch to 5k thing...he rather watch the news.

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

I had almost this exact conversation with my husband when we came across a dog running down the side of the road! Curtis insisted that he was headed home; I insisted that he was lost. Because I'm ALWAYS right, we ended up pulling over - and sure enough, he was lost. Ha.

JenGid said...

You definitely need a shirt that says "Running With Purpose" on the back for your training. I'd get one too, but then people might actually expect to see some running and well that just ain't gonna happen.

Wonder Woman said...

HaHa! Funny how husbands are hardly EVER right....but they always insist that they are.

Chris said...

Couch to 5k ROCKS!!!

I'm hoping to start it up again at the end of the month. I had to have knee surgery two years ago after being able to run 3 miles a day. Stopped smoking while recovering from surgery so what else was there to do but eat. Yeah, my knees are going to hate me when I start back up again.

It's an amazing program!!!

nova said...

I always think that about dogs who are "lost"...they really do all run like they know where they're going.

Jaclyn said...

My dog "runs with purpose" too. His purpose is usually to chase a motorcycle or chew on roadkill or find the OMGPERFECT spot to shit. Then he collapses like a giant fat ass and I have to carry him home so he doesn't have a heat stroke.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Running with purpose... That's a new one.
Love he way you tell a story Miss Yvonne.
xo jj

Megs said...

The woman up the street from us lets her dog nap in the road. I returned him about 3 times (even the mailman recognizes this damn dog and which house he belongs to). She always seemed like I was BOTHERING her by returning her dog, so now I just don't even try.

Also once in the neighborhood when I was running someone's yellow lab obviously got out of their yard with no collar on and followed me on my run. She was running with purpose too. She also didn't know where she was going.

kyouell said...

I always, always, always stop for dogs without their people. Come on! Running with purpose because they're out for a good time like a high schooler leaving a party that's in the process of getting busted.

Also, people with northern Spitz dogs seem to love giving their dogs weird names. I know because my Norwegian Elkhound was named Sydney. We're a strange bunch.

Sarah P said...

Oso is a pretty dumb name for a dog. Is it like the Special Agent Oso my kids watch? Because I prefer Word Girl. I'd get a kick-ass girl dog and name her Word Girl and then I'd get a really mean cat and name her Lady Redundant Woman and then I'd go around singing the song all the time. I maybe should stop watching so much PBS.

Mrs. Tuna said...

I stop loose dogs on busy streets. I figure the ones cruising in the hood don't have that desperate look. My daughter has brought gobs of them home. Thankfully their owners always turned up.

coco loco said...

very funny, you made me giggle out loud. ;)

Nadine said...

I hope the doggie got found by his owners.

Good luck with C25K. I'd do it, but I'm just straight up too fat & chesty to run. I'm "on the wagon" of not being a fatass though, with Weight Watchers and the gym now. I tried c25k a few years ago and shit... just shit... please keep us updated with your progress, and godspeed.

Brian R. Christensen said...

I think Carl's right. Just because he was running AWAY from home doesn't mean he didn't know what he was doing. By catching him, you might have foiled a heroic escape.

Miss Rosie said...

i agree with the captain... if I had a name like that I'd run away too.

busanalayali said...

Very interesting... I really like it... Thank you so much...

Baju Muslim