Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Here's To Less Zingers And More Birthdays

I don't write much here about my family, except for my husband and my kid. I like this blog to mainly be about stupid stuff. Things to hopefully make you laugh and probably to make you think I'm super weird. *cough* the frozen grapes post *cough* I like it that way. I don't like being all serious about shit. But lately I've been feeling pretty down in the dumps and serious faced.

But I've been thinking a lot about my Grandma this month. She loved Christmas. Every year when I was a kid, we would go to her house to celebrate. When I was little, I loved it. I had cousins to play with and presents to open and Hy-Vee brand grape soda to drink. When I was a teenager, I dreaded it. Because I was an asshole, just like every other teenager. I wanted to stay home and have sex with my boyfriend in the rumpus room. I did not want to hang out with all my old relatives and my stupid cousins that I had nothing in common with and drink stupid off-brand soda.

I wasted too many years with that attitude. Because now my Grandma is gone and I would do anything to get another Christmas with her. Granted, I lost the attitude long before she passed away and I had a very close relationship with her. In fact, I was probably closer to her than any of her other grandchildren (In your face, Mitchell).

But it still hurts when I pull out her recipe for Christmas cookies, or remember how she always sent me a Christmas card with $20 in it and signed it "Love you, honey". I miss her so much.

My Grandma had breast cancer. Twice. The first time, she beat it into remission with sheer willpower and faith in God. She had a mastectomy and then had radiation. She called her radiation treatments her "zingers". She would tell me not to worry because if it was her time, she was ready. She had an amazing attitude.

And then a couple years later, the cancer came back. But this time she was older and other problems with her aging body made it more difficult for her to fight. But she did fight. She fought for her husband, my Grandpa, who was terrified to be without her. She fought for her sons, who cried like little boys when they had to put her back in the hospital.

But in the end, breast cancer was just too much for a 92 year old woman to fight. And even though I was grateful for her long, beautiful life and her precious spirit and the gift of faith she gave all of us, I was angry. Angry that she had to spend so many years fighting a disease that ravaged her body. Her cancer was not a tragedy in the way that it is for the young men and women who have lost their own fights with the disease. She was able to see her children, her grandchildren and even some great-grandchildren grow up. But she did suffer. And that is reason enough for me to hope for a cure.

So Merry Christmas to my Grandma, who I absolutely know is an angel up there somewhere. And here's to less "zingers" and more birthdays for everyone.



This post is sponsored by American Cancer Society.

14 comments:

Moooooog35 said...

Every once in a while it's nice to remember that some of us are actually still human and have hearts and feelings. That was pretty cool, woman. Thanks.

Ed said...

A year and a half after being diagnosed with stage 4 Esophageal cancer, my mom losing her fight. The doctors are amazed she held on as long as she did. Most with this form don't make it past 6 months. Few finish the first round of chemo. She has had 4 rounds of chemo, with little side effects. She too is a woman of strong faith and knows she is headed for a better place. But it's still hard to lose your mommy, especially at Christmas. And, she is only 66.

Thanks for your post.

Miss Yvonne said...

@Ed I am so sorry. I can't imagine what you are going through. Sincere prayers being said for both of you. Cancer is such a bitch.

Miss Yvonne said...

@Moooooog35 I do have feelings, but they're usually buried deep below my sarcastic surface. I only let them out during the holidays.

Eva Gallant said...

What a lovely post about your grandma. My husband is currently battling colon cancer. The disease is a bitch!

E3 said...

Beautiful post. I'm sure your Grandma is proud to read it from those comfy recliners in heaven :)

Thanks for reminding me to appreciate family this holiday season.

Gia said...

Aww..what a sad/sweet post.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

HELL YES TO THAT!

Eff that disease. Let's kick it right in the knackers.

Merry Christmas, Miss M.

Wow, that was awkward said...

Sweet post. And a good reminder to treasure each and every moment with family and friends. I tend to write more on the humor side as well, but in keeping with the spirit of this particular post, I will not make one single smart-ass comment for a change of pace.

newpumpkin said...

There is just as much beauty in your reflective moments as there are in your humor. You're a strong woman just like your grandma.

Logical Libby said...

Your grandma would be proud of you -- even with the whole frozen grape thing.

And all teenagers are assholes.

kyouell said...

Aw, dammit, now I'm crying and missing my grandma (ovarian cancer). I firmly believe that when I miss her the strongest is when she is closest too me. In a supportive, positive, haunting way, like she came by to give me a hug and that's why I have this pang of missing her.

Here's to Christmas cookies and gimlets! You miss your grandma your way, and I'll miss mine my way. ;-)

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