So the Kiddo goes to college in a month. I’m having some trouble with this fact. And when I say “having some trouble” I mean “crying my eyes out at the very thought of my baby leaving me”.
This is no exaggeration, y’all. I already felt screwed over for missing the first 8 years of his life and all the cute baby-Kiddo stuff. But now I feel even worse because 10 years has flown by and guess what? I’m an empty-nester at 36 years old.
Captain Carl, on the other hand, is pretending to be ecstatic. He’s all “We’ve never been alone, we’ve always had the boy, we’ve never gotten the chance to be true newlyweds, hooray!” but I know inside he’s really sad too. Those two are as thick as thieves most days. Sometimes I feel left out of the super nerdy boy club when they are together.
Everyone keeps asking me when we are going to take the Kiddo to school and I honestly didn’t know. Mostly because I don’t want to know on account of my sad stepmom heart breaking every time I think about his room being empty soon. So I just wave my hand in the air and vaguely say “Oh, sometime in mid August-ish”. But today I logged into facebook and that the Kiddo had posted this:
I move out in 34 days :p
The little fucker put a smiley tongue face at the end of it. Like he’s soooo happy to be leaving us that he just can’t help but stick his tongue out. Like he’s giving us the facial equivalent of the finger. Like, like….hang on a minute…
*sob sob sob*
So I’ve never left a comment on any of his facebook posts, even when it’s been completely stupid. But I was so sad reading this one, that I just had to get back at him for being so damn happy about his future. And so I left this comment:
34 days until we can finally have our first swingers party!
So far? 27 “likes” from his friends. Because I’m just that awesome.
The Case of the Very Strange Speech Impediment
2 weeks ago