My son friend requested me today on Facebook. I was completely shocked. Teenagers don't want to be friends with their parents, right? Especially not on Facebook, right?? I saw him there when I first signed up but I purposely stayed away because I figured he would reject my friend request on the basis of "No way in hell am I going to have my stepmom listed as a friend". Plus I figured my 16 year old niece (let's call her Bean) would have already warned him not to do it, because she accepted my friend request and I proceeded to leave comments like "Yo yo yo, my little butter bean! Wazzzzuppppp???" and "Dude, we're sooooo gonna party this weekend. You bring the new CD, I'll bring the chips and queso." and "Bean, you forgot your period panties at my house last weekend when you came to stay because you were afraid of staying at home alone without your mom because you thought your friends might want to come over and have a party and no way would you do that because you're such a good girl". So he totally surprised me with his invitation. Of course I accepted because now I can read everything he posts, which is both helpful and hilarious. Dumb kid.
This morning I spent about an hour reading through everything he's written in the past six months. I have never seen so many "ttly's" and "dude's" and "OMG's" in my life. Surprisingly, he curses a lot less than I thought he would. But then, that probably has something to do with the fact that his Granddad Ward and Uncle Mailman Mike are also his friends. One thing he does do a lot is talk about how awesome he is. Not a surprise. What's also not a surprise is all the girls that write things to him like "OMG, ur pic is soooo cute! I ttly love it!" and "Whatsup zexy?" and "Plse don't quit band next yr!".
Okay, old lady moment in 3, 2, 1.... What the hell is up with the abbreviations? How much harder can it be to add the "ea" to the word "please"? Slacker kids. When I was their age I spelled out complete words, and I put them in notes and passed them in class because we didn't have cell phones and facebook! All we had was notebook paper and a pencil, and we were happy to have it! Also I walked to school uphill, both ways.
Anyway, I found a few things the Kiddo wrote that made me chuckle. For example, he wrote this right after he smashed up his car:
"My car broke down the day after I got off my grounding."
I love how he doesn't mention the fact that he backed into a parked trailer and THAT is the reason his car is broken down. Excellent omission, way to be evasive son!
And then a few days after that:
"My car is now street legal but I can't go anywhere."
Probably because his jerky parents grounded him for busting up the car that was in mint condition three weeks prior. Psshhh, parents. Losers.
But then I read further back and found a comment that decidedly stood out from all the rest. Someone asked him how the SAT test went for him and his response was:
"I ttly bent it over and took it to brown town."
That's my boy. I'm so proud.
On Becoming My Grandmother
4 months ago