Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Gas Masks Are The New Fangs

Last night the doorbell rang and when Captain Carl opened the door, he yelled "Honey, it's Axle Rose!". I looked towards the entryway and saw the top of a cowboy hat and I knew it must be Emo. And of course, I was correct.

Emo never disappoints when he stops by. His clothing choices are always the same, but his accessories are legendary. Last night he was wearing his fangs (of course) and a cowboy hat pulled low over his face. But it wasn't just a cowboy hat. It was a work of weird, teen angsty art. It appeared that Emo had embellished it with anything he could find that might be sharp and pointy. There were strange things hanging off the brim and he had drawn stuff all over it that I couldn't really make out but it resembled pictures of skulls and boobies.

But the absolute best part, the piece de resistance if you will, was the hole. Emo had cut an opening into his cowboy hat about the size of a golf ball, resulting in a hole that he could look out of. Only one though, because two eye holes would be ridiculous.

So the Kiddo came home 45 minutes later and after Emo left, I asked him what he thought of the new hat.

Kiddo: That is one of the dumbest things I've ever seen him wear.
Me: Wow, even dumber than the contacts?
Kiddo: Oh yeah. But not as dumb as the gas mask.
Me: Excuse me?
Kiddo: He tried to wear a gas mask to the mall yesterday.

Me: Ummm, where did he get a gas mask?
Kiddo: I have no idea, but no way in hell was I walking around the mall with him wearing it.
Me: Oh come on, you could have just told people he was your retarded cousin.
Kiddo: I told him he was a freak and I'm drawing the line at gas masks.
Me: That's a good line to draw.
Kiddo: And he was all "Hey man, I'm being original" and I was all "YOU'RE. WEARING. A. GAS. MASK."

Thank heaven for Emo.


beth said...

"thank heaven for emo" is right! i love these posts!

The Peach Tart said...

The hat with the eye cut out....the gas mask...I'm a little worried

Cassie said...

That is definitely a good line to draw! I can't imagine seeing someone wearing a gas mask in public LOL

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

I would be a little scared, but I know from your previous posts that he's an Emo-With-A-Heart-Of-Gold. And I've learned a valuable lesson about judging a book by its fangs. Uh, fishhooks. I mean to say... appearances can be decevil. Deceiving. Gah.

Candice said...

I'm willing to bet that dude gets NO play.




Logical Libby said...

I totally would have dated him in high school. I was really weird.

miss. chief said...

hahaha emo is so cute. i just imagine this little no-self-esteem-y kid, all fangsy and one eyed.
high school kids are the funniest

hey my word verification is "pub soak"

O'Dell Mitchell said...

I knew from your title that this post was going to be about Emo. He's starting to scare me but I love these posts about him. I wouldn't be seen with him wearing a gas mask either. Your Kiddo is awesome!


Green-Eyed Momster said...

Sorry, Miss Yvonne! That comment was from me if you couldn't tell by the Jugs@@

I was signed in as Hubby. Oooops!

friends forever or until i give up humans all together. said...

you guys shouldn't be worried about kids that are doin' their own thing...that's what the teen years are for!!!! otherwise they will do it in their 30's. or 40's .and nothing is creepier than a grown man in a gas mask at the mall! we should all support weird teens.. they need us!

Miss Yvonne said...

beth: And these posts love you!

Peach: Don't worry too much, I suspect it's all just for show.

Cassie: I'm thinking about inviting Emo to lunch and asking him to wear the gas mask...just to see what people will do.

Steamy: Between the fangs and the fishhooks, Emo is practically Greg Brady with all the lessons he's teaching.

Candice: That would be a good bet.

Libby: Maybe you can give him some pointers on how to find the weird girls.

miss chief: They are the funniest, especially when they wear fangs.

Momster: I wrong, or is your husband wearing A GAS MASK in his picture????

friends forever: You just gave me a great birthday present idea for Captain Carl next year...gas mask, baby!

Solanaceae said...

My word verification is "unbanst". Somehow seems appropriate, like what you would call an emo kid. I heart me some Emo. He makes me laugh and laugh.

Dana's Brain said...

I think you should see if you can coax him into wearing the gas mask so we can get a picture!

Anonymous said...

The teacher across the hall used to call these kids the "Look at Me!" kids. Because they 'act' like they don't want you to look at them but they, obviously - gas mask, go out of their way to get you to do so.

The eye hole took some planning. Wonder what was going through his head.....

kate said...

I think that look is a little less Axle Rose and a little more dark-and-twisty-Bret-Michaels. Emo could host the best season of Rock of Love EVER. He could sit around with all of his depressed wannabe girlfriends in their fangs and random attire while they talk about how dark their hearts are. I'd watch.

Kurt said...

One eyehole = serious. Two eyeholes = the mumbly kid from Fat Albert. Good Call, Emo.

Mona Lott said...


*rockin the gas mask*

What can I say...

Betsey Booms said...

I love Emo. A lot.

However, when I go to successfully perform my very first "citizen's arrest", I'm probably going to aim for the kid in the gas mask.

Also, I can't get BoomTube to upload this week, for some reason.

I'm taking it as a personal insult.

I'm coming over to kiss your cat to get my mojo back.

I'm off my meds, can you tell?

erin said...

I don't even know what to say. I guess my generic comment would be: I wonder what makes him think he's going to get laid wearing something like that.

But I know that my parents must have been thinking the same thing about me at that age...Wait. Nope, I was totally cool and hot. ;)

Vic said...

Emo is my new reason for getting up in the morning. The eyehole is super practical, yet creepy, because then one eyeball becomes part of the hat-decor.

What is it with skull shirt and kids now? I was drowning in skulls this school year.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Holy Shit! You're right! That was just for the picture though. See he took a picture of a skunk's ass for his blog. It's not like he wears it to the mall or the glof course.
What are the chances that Emo's seen his blog?


Hugs and Jugs@@

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I don't know where the See came from?

Fuck I suck at leaving comments here lately!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Now he's following you bringing your total number of stalkers up to 97!
You can block him if you want!


Larew said...

The hat with the eye-ball cut out is most original. I think there's a market for that... he could finance his college years. Meanwhile....

Oh my god! My word verification for this comment is herpes... do you think this means something? Is it about Emo? Surely it can't be about me! I'm too old to be toyed with in that way. Who comes up with these things anyway... I mean REALLY! Don't they know they're offending my delicate sensibilities!

Cat Lady

mylittlebecky said...

eye hole. classic! this will be available next week at target...

creative-type dad said...

The eye hole is ingenious.
That kid from Fat Albert had some of those too. But he was a little weird.

Solanaceae said...

Mushmouth (mumbly kid from Fat Albert) was awesome. Obey Kaybe!

nikki said...

OMG I LOV EMO!!!!! tell him that if he ever wants to hook-up that i am his girl. I AM NOT KIDDING! I MEAN IT!