That was my longest post title ever.
Pats self on back.
High fives self.
Puts a boot in someone's ass.
Gives self sensual boob honk.
So the 4th of July is coming up. This is my 4th favorite holiday....I know what you're thinking and yes, I will tell you my three most favorite holidays starting with 3rd place because I want to keep you in suspense about my number one. That's what she said.
3. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day - technically I am not African American, but I do support civil rights because I'm not a nazi or a skinhead or my 99 year old grandpa. Also, I get a day off from work for this holiday, so that makes civil rights even more delicious. And by delicious, I mean equal and fair and sleeping in. Take that, grandpa!
2. Christmas - Presents, food, baby Jesus, sexy santa panties...seriously, what's not to love about this holiday?
1. Halloween - Fall is my favorite season and I love everything about Halloween. I have a love/hate relationship with all things scary...I'm drawn to scary movies, but yet I'm filled with anxiety thinking about watching them. Same thing with haunted houses. I'm such an enigma, it's not even funny y'all. Plus, Halloween is about the time in Texas when it starts to cool off and I can finally put a bra on without sweating.
So anyway, I figured I've won several awesome prizes from some pretty cool bloggers recently...it's time I give back a little. I'm like the Oprah of blogging. Plus I am dangerously close to getting 100 followers....triple digits, y'all ! So I'm fixin' to have myself a little giveaway on this here blog as a celebration of my awesomeness. This isn't the giveaway post though....this is a teaser post. You know, to get your giveaway juices flowing. Eeew.
I'm taking Thursday off so I can have an extra long holiday weekend with Captain Carl. In honor of my own personal hump day (tee hee, get it?) the giveaway will be posted on Thursday. And yes, it really does involve a mullet.....
God Bless America and Toby Keith!
P.S. I stole the sensual boob honk move from Kurt. I figure I just stepped it up a notch by doing it to myself. Rawr.
A Lifetime Sentence
1 month ago