Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Be Patriotic And Enter My Giveaway! It's Not Really All That Patriotic! But It Does Have A Mullet! Seriously! Exclamation Point!

That was my longest post title ever.

Pats self on back.
High fives self.
Puts a boot in someone's ass.
Gives self sensual boob honk
.

So the 4th of July is coming up. This is my 4th favorite holiday....I know what you're thinking and yes, I will tell you my three most favorite holidays starting with 3rd place because I want to keep you in suspense about my number one. That's what she said.

3. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day - technically I am not African American, but I do support civil rights because I'm not a nazi or a skinhead or my 99 year old grandpa. Also, I get a day off from work for this holiday, so that makes civil rights even more delicious. And by delicious, I mean equal and fair and sleeping in. Take that, grandpa!

2. Christmas - Presents, food, baby Jesus, sexy santa panties...seriously, what's not to love about this holiday?

1. Halloween - Fall is my favorite season and I love everything about Halloween. I have a love/hate relationship with all things scary...I'm drawn to scary movies, but yet I'm filled with anxiety thinking about watching them. Same thing with haunted houses. I'm such an enigma, it's not even funny y'all. Plus, Halloween is about the time in Texas when it starts to cool off and I can finally put a bra on without sweating.

So anyway, I figured I've won several awesome prizes from some pretty cool bloggers recently...it's time I give back a little. I'm like the Oprah of blogging. Plus I am dangerously close to getting 100 followers....triple digits, y'all ! So I'm fixin' to have myself a little giveaway on this here blog as a celebration of my awesomeness. This isn't the giveaway post though....this is a teaser post. You know, to get your giveaway juices flowing. Eeew.

I'm taking Thursday off so I can have an extra long holiday weekend with Captain Carl. In honor of my own personal hump day (tee hee, get it?) the giveaway will be posted on Thursday. And yes, it really does involve a mullet.....

God Bless America and Toby Keith!

P.S. I stole the sensual boob honk move from Kurt. I figure I just stepped it up a notch by doing it to myself. Rawr.

19 comments:

Kurt said...

That's okay. I stole "sensual boob honk" from Steam Me Up, Kid. We have a good little community of theives here. We should start a Warcraft Guild. Just kidding! I don't even know what that means! Seriously. I'm so not a dork.

Jules said...

That's a lot of stealin' of the 'sensual boob honk' going on!! And I love all things a mullet (well not really) but I am looking forward to seeing what on EARTH you might be giving away!! (If only it could be the emo hat.....)

kate said...

I. Love. Mullets. For serious. I have a mullet wig that I put on my dog every now and then...because I'm "that girl". Oh, and I'm a little white trash.

Lana said...

sometimes you just need a really long title to convey the excitement. it worked for me, i'm so going to enter whatever it is that i have to enter to maybe win a mullet or a halloween costume.

i guess that could be the same thing, but you know what i mean.

erin said...

Oh Oh Oh! I never win anything! So we should just skip the part where you pretend that you're not just going to automatically pick me as the winner. Everybody likes me and thinks I deserve whatever you're going to give away anyways. We all know it's true.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

And I, in turn, stole "sensual boob honk" from my 9th grade boyfriend, who didn't actually coin the phrase in the spoken sense, but invented it in practice. *sigh* So. much. practice. *Has traumatic flashback and hugs pillow to chest*

I'm gonna win your giveaway so hard it's gonna go running home to its mommy.

Kim said...

Are you giving away a lesbian? Because I'm tired of all the lipstick ones these days-- I like my lesbians butch and sporting a full, glorious mullet.

miss. chief said...

what about the FIRST OF JULY? that's our version of your thing up here, but more red and white and less blue.

diane said...

Halloween? That explains a lot!
The claw, love of Emo's costumes, naming yourself after "Miss Yvonne" from Pee Wee's Playhouse (shivers). I'd be willing to bet you're prettier than her anyway.
I can't even imagine what your give-a-way is, but I hate mullets. I would only enter out of my deep and abiding respect for you.

word ver. insess haha, I don't know why it cracks me up.

Courtney said...

Mullets freak me the fuck out!!!

Miss Yvonne said...

Kurt: Good, I don't feel so bad now that I know the sensual boob honk has been stolen before. Poor sensual boob honk...it must feel so used.

Jules: I too love all things mullet. And I would LOVE to give away the Emo hat, but alas he has refused to let me "borrow" it.

kate: If you send me a picture of your dog wearing a mullet wig, I will love you for life. I might even give you a sensual boob honk. A virtual one, of course. Because I don't know where you live and even if I did I sure wouldn't sit in my car in front of your house waiting for you to come out and get the mail so I can run up to you and honk your boobs in person. That you know of, anyway.

Lana: Mullets are not halloween costumes in Texas. They are a way of life!

erin: Everyone does love you, but only because you loved yourself first. Sorry, obviously I've been watching too much Lifetime network.

SMU, Kid: I'll be sure to high five your 9th grade boyfriend the next time I see him. His name is Jay and he lived on a pig farm, right? Oops, that was MY 9th grade boyfriend. True story.

Kim: I only know two butch lesbians and they could both beat me up, so I won't be trying to give them away unless it's at their wedding.

miss chief: I'll let you enter the giveaway, even though you're not an American. Keep an eye out for Toby Keith though...I've explained to him that y'all are our friends, but he just isn't getting it.

diane: Thanks for the respect...but you'll like this mullet. Trust me. hee hee

Courtney: Aww come on, why ya gotta hate on the mullet? It's the perfect haircut. Business in the front, party in the back y'all!

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

You're gonna give away a merkin mullet, aren't you. AREN'T YOU??!!

You are. You so are.

Larew said...

Your tease has worked... I anxiously await news of the contest.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I have to Ditto your number 1! Also, I want whatever you're giving away. I tell myself that I used to be all cute in my mullet. Bring it on!!

Jugs@@

Prosy said...

Really? The fourth is one of your favorites? I mean, there are good things about it and all, but there aren't any costumes or presents. (scuffs toe in dirt). I like ice cream I guess...

Nanodance said...

Best Blog Post Title. Ever. Exclamation Point.

Mona Lott said...

I fear your give away... And mullets!

LiLu said...

You tease! You know you had me at "mullet"...

Hippo Brigade said...

sexy santa panties? I need some of those. Add in a sensual boob honk, and I'd say we'd have the makings for a merry little christmas.