Our new renter moves in tonight, so Bambi had to be out on Saturday in order for us to get the room ready for him. She showed up at the house around 4pm that day and then spent all night packing and cleaning the bathroom. And when I say all night, I mean literally all night. I went to bed at midnight and she was still banging around up there. So much for leaving on Saturday. But she did leave early on Sunday. Very early. 3:30 in the morning early. Captain Carl decided to stay up Saturday night until she was done, just to be sure nothing stupid was going on. She did come down at one point and ask if she could put some jeans in the dryer and the Captain was all "Ummmm, no. It's 2am and my wife is sleeping" because I guess 19 year olds don't think about details like that. Because they're morons.
Anyway, Bambi had decided to move up to one of our country's eastern states (good luck, Connecticut!), and I never really heard why. The Captain mentioned once that he thought she was going there to attend school for the summer, but I never got any details. So on Sunday morning, Captain Carl came to bed at 3:30am and told me that Eco and Kool Aid just took "them" to the airport. So my first question was "At 3:30??" and then my second question was "Them??".
Apparently Bambi had a guy staying with her in our house for four days and I had no idea. He was really quiet and I guess never ate unless she brought him food. He was like Harry Potter under the stairs or something. This guy flew here four days ago from Connecticut. She met him online and I don't know what this girl said to him....but whatever it was, it must have been really good because he's paying for her to move up there and live with him for free. Someone she'd never met in person before. Yep, I'm sure that's gonna work out.
So she's all Miss Packy Pack and then her brother drives her and her new boyfriend to the airport at 3:30 in the morning. And no, there was no 4:30am flight to catch...their flight was not until 8am. Captain Carl explained to me that Eco had agreed to drive them to the airport, but he didn't want to "get up early" so he told Bambi she had to go as soon as she was done packing. Ummm, 3:30am isn't early?? Huh. So rather than, oh I don't know, getting packed up earlier in the day and going to bed at night and getting up at 6am like a normal smart person would do, they stayed up all night and then sat at the airport for hours waiting for their flight.
Who are these people??? Seriously! I mean, who agrees to pay a stranger's way through life based only on an internet relationship? And who the hell thinks it's logical to go to the airport at 3:30 in the morning and several hours before their flight? And how did we luck out and have these people living in our house for 6 months?
And here's the best part. She left all her shit at our house. Dozens of boxes, plants, litter box, a desk, her moped.....all the things most people take with them when they move. So even though Bambi was gone yesterday, her crap was still there. When she left in the wee hours of the morning, she told Captain Carl that some guy named Charro or Champo or something like that was going to come at 9am and pick up all her stuff. Yeah, dude didn't show until 8pm. But the good news is, he took Eco and Kool Aid's huge aquarium that they were keeping their hermit crabs in and was now sitting empty on the bathroom floor. I have no idea why two hermit crabs needed an aquarium large enough for a baby octopus or why they thought it was a good idea to just dump it on the bathroom floor, but whatever. It's gone and they will be too in 8 days! I just hope Bambi's moped will be gone by then, because it was still sitting in our driveway this morning when I left for work. Awesome.
I'm getting drunk on June 9....really really drunk.
On Becoming My Grandmother
5 weeks ago