I'm giving away gum.
Yep. Gum.
But hold up, don't get yer panties in a wad grandma. It's insulting and somewhat inappropriate gum!
I've got five boxes of it...therefore, there will be five winners!
Here's where the mullet comes in....
And then there are the others...
And because I'm so awesome and also because the gum is kind of small and I'm pretty sure the winners will be disappointed when they get it in the mail and they'll be all "That's it?", I'll also include a PERSONALIZED hand-made card for each winner. Just go over to this post and you'll see how lucky you'll be to get one of these bad boys with your gum. I'll be posting pics of each of the cards once they are completed...you know, so everyone can enjoy my amazing creations. I'm a giver like that.
So here's how to win....you get one entry just by leaving me a comment about why I'm so awesome. Just kidding, any old comment will do. Although it wouldn't hurt my feelings if you did happen to mention something about me being awesome.
You'll get a second entry if you link to my giveaway on your blog...be sure to email me with a link to your blog so I can add your entry.
I haven't decided on the exact day for picking winners yet...it'll be sometime next week. All winners will be drawn out of a hat...maybe I'll use Emo's hat if you're lucky...
Good luck, bitches!
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39 comments:
i must have the mullet gum!!! or the pretend i give a shit gum!! but really, mostly because i've always wanted one of your cards and/or bracelets and maybe a gifty box of your famous cookies because you're so crafty and awesome at the same time, and that's not an easy combo to pull off.
ps. there will be a link(s) in my blog if i can ever get my kid to stop chewing wires long enough to let me type a post today.
1. You're awesome because you have birth control gum.
2. You're awesome because you're more sarcastic than me and I appreciate that in ALL of my friends!
3. You're awesome because you're crafty (like the Beastie Boys song) and I'm not.
p.s. I just posted but will edit it to include a link to your blog. Because you're awesome!
I need that birth control gum.
I want the "Does this gum make my ass look fat?" gum!
Pretty damn cool gum collection; how can you stand to part with it? Oh that's right, it's because you're awesome!
you're awesome because you're a cat kisser in secret and you say in your blog that it's your roommate but now the truth is out.
can i have some gum now?
You are awesome just because. Most cause you're hysterical.
We have to sit here and kiss your ass to get some GUM!?
Nobody had to do anything at all to get my stupid random shit...Wait...maybe that's because it was stupid random shit and this gum is AWESOME!
ok ok I'll kiss your ass. You're awesome because Jeremiah likes to read your blog and he doesn't read anyone else's ever (other than Steamy's, and then he walks away in disgust and says WHERE DOES SHE COME UP WITH THIS SHIT???).
And I liked the photo of Capt. Carl pissing in the back yard. Awesome.
This would have been perfect if you had the drawing last week and I had won because I totally have Diet Coke breath right now and do not have any gum in my purse. You know what would fix Diet Coke breath? Gum with a fat dude on it.
Ok so this is weird because I really want the birth control gum and also I had this post saved up for you and now I get to go add a link to this giveaway and you get your post early now and that's basically cheating but I guess I'm okay with that because I really want some gum.
Also, you are awesome! But the post won't be up until Monday.
I'm so jealous of you right now. If I had these precious items in my possession, I WOULD NOT be giving them away... guess I'm a bitch like that. Anyway - where did you find them cus they are AWESOEM!!!
You crack me the fuck up!!!
Hmmm, since I have five kids, I wonder which gum I might get if I won.
BTW Ms. Yvonne, youmust visit my blog due to the absolute hooror I shared with everyone today.
The Stuff Of Nightmares
Birth control in gum form! Maybe THAT would work for me!
I wasn't going to post today, but looks like I might do one entirely for you just so I can get a second entry. So isn't THAT exciting.
I need gum, Miss Yvonne! Wish me luck!
Hugs!!
That mullet gum DOES look "frikkin tasty!!" Dude!
Your blog is frikkin tasty too!
Oh! Oh! Oh! And look at my blog!
You're awesome! Plus, I thought you said you were such an enema in your last post. DIY laser eye surgery may not have been my best decision ever.
Hey, I'm from Canada, can I still enter??? Cause, thanks to me, your coolness is recognized pretty much internationally. I read your blog and also, I have one of my British friends subscribed to your blog, so I think that counts for something. Your blog is my favorite of all the blogs I read. For realz.
You are awesome. I read your blog right after Jenny the Blogess (queen of inappropriate snark) and the Fugly column, cause I need to be reminded daily that celebrities look like shit after they sepnd tons of money on themselves and I look like shit on the cheap! Way to feel better about myself.
So yeah, thanks for posting regularly and being so funny.
Only kick ass people chew gum like that.
I REALLY want to be kick ass just like you.
You are awesome because you find inappropriate gum! Who knew there was such a thing!
Hey there Your Awesomeness,
This giveaway will probably bring you the other 2 followers you need to make 100! I hope you'll still be my moron twin when you are that popular.
Anyway, I don't really like gum, it pulls out my dental work, so I'm not entering. Well, I don't really know how to do the link thing either. But I think you are insanely brilliant and original. xo
I think that I should win this contest because I have all the ingredients to be a true champion already and...
Wait...Waht do you mean there's no essay. Steamy told me I had to write an essay.
By your choice of chewing gum, may we assume you are a pregnant, fat assed, mullet wearing mother of ugly children who doesn't give a shit? My kinda woman! Let's be friends.
So many choices, so little time. Actually, I don't need the birth control gum anymore, which of course means I no longer need the Don't Have Ugly Children gum either. Mullets creep me out (although that's probably the whole point.) So, that leaves the Let's Pretend I Give a Shit or the Big Ass gum. Either would be delightful. But surely not as delightful (and awesome) as you.
I also want to say how much I appreciate your willingness to lay out so much hard, cold cash on this giveaway. That in itself is a testament to your awesomeness.
Sincerely,
CatLadyLarew
I just started reading your blog TODAY and already you are my very favorite blogger in the whole wide world. This is because of the awesomeness that you exude. And, I would totally become a stalker...er...follower except for on account of all those awesome gum pictures taking so long to load the follower window never came up.
And if I won, then I could have unprotected sex while chewing the birth control gum and not get pregnant! That would be awesome!
My wife thinks that I want gum.
She said to say Jugs@@
I want that gum! Scotland desrves that gum!
You are so awesome I'd let you slap a hot dog out of my hands. And possibly kick my dog if I win. Also, if I win, you can have The Man.
OMG.
You had me at "insulting and somewhat inappropriate".
But you knew that already.
Love your face.
I've been chewing the "Let's pretend I give a shit" gum since I was a wee lass.
Give the birth control gum to the people who might have ugly children.
you crack me up.
Where the hell were you when I needed the BIRTH CONTROL GUM??
And the "Does this make my ASS look big gum??" Ph yeah. That has my name written ALL over it.
I have just discovered your blog - thanks to Cat Lady Larew. I must thank her in person. Your blog is hilarious. I will be back.
wow gum! I can't control my emotions....
Hey, do we get bonus points for talking about genitals? Just wondering.
These are awesome.
And you MAY wish to stop by my little slice of hell and accept your Bnaughty prize! Congratulations!
FYI: my word verification is "exc bj". Appropriate, no?
I followed Cat's link at zipbagofbones. Funny stuff over here!!
haha yeah you're awesome especially that good luck bitches bit. hilarious!
I've never in my life seen gum that awesome, I've got to win!! Can you disqualify everyone else just because? If you do I'll ..hmm I'll send you cookies. :)
You are awesome because you won a vibrator. And talk about rubbing chicklets on your who-ha.
(http://anticsofacrazymom.typepad.com)
I can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. But I can’t walk after a few drinks anyway with the way I pour ‘em. So, I could sit on my ass and chew gum and not walk. Of course, I would probably choke on the gum due to the drunkenness but I still want some! I’ll take my chances on the choking because I live on the edge like that.
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