UPDATED to fix my incorrect use of an apostrophe in my blog title...you're welcome miss. chief. I'm coming over to your blog to karate chop you in the face now. I hope you're happy.
I'm just killing time up in here waiting for my awesome new clit massager to arrive in the mail. I've decided to fantasize about Cat the first time I use it, in honor of her giveaway that made it all possible. That's hot, right? Because she's a girl and I'm a girl and a girl-on-girl fantasy inside a girl's head is super sexy, especially when it's about going shopping together and ohmygod those shoes are super cute and maybe getting a pretzel at the mall and also french fries at McDonald's on our way home because we're sooo sooo naughty.
So guess what, y'all? I'm a god. Shut up, I am so! I so totally am. Nikki over at This Genius is Insane wrote a whole blog post about me being a god. I'm not capitalizing the word "god" because there's still a little bit of Lutheran still stuck in me, plus if my mom ever finds this blog (I will totally cut you if you tell her about it) I know the first thing she'll be upset about is all the swearing but the second thing will be that I called myself a capital G god. I did capitalize it in my blog title, but that's just because it's good grammar.
Nikki also gave me this award:
She created it just for me. All I can say is you're totally awesome and I love you and your blog and thanks for comparing me to chocolate covered strawberries eaten off of Johnny Depp's abdomen. Also why is that guy not sucking on one of those nipples in that room? Seriously, what a waste.
Two more days left to enter my giveaway, bitches!
On Becoming My Grandmother
5 weeks ago