Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Gods Masturbate, Right?

UPDATED to fix my incorrect use of an apostrophe in my blog title...you're welcome miss. chief. I'm coming over to your blog to karate chop you in the face now. I hope you're happy.

I'm just killing time up in here waiting for my awesome new clit massager to arrive in the mail. I've decided to fantasize about Cat the first time I use it, in honor of her giveaway that made it all possible. That's hot, right? Because she's a girl and I'm a girl and a girl-on-girl fantasy inside a girl's head is super sexy, especially when it's about going shopping together and ohmygod those shoes are super cute and maybe getting a pretzel at the mall and also french fries at McDonald's on our way home because we're sooo sooo naughty.

So guess what, y'all? I'm a god. Shut up, I am so! I so totally am. Nikki over at This Genius is Insane wrote a whole blog post about me being a god. I'm not capitalizing the word "god" because there's still a little bit of Lutheran still stuck in me, plus if my mom ever finds this blog (I will totally cut you if you tell her about it) I know the first thing she'll be upset about is all the swearing but the second thing will be that I called myself a capital G god. I did capitalize it in my blog title, but that's just because it's good grammar.

Nikki also gave me this award:

She created it just for me. All I can say is you're totally awesome and I love you and your blog and thanks for comparing me to chocolate covered strawberries eaten off of Johnny Depp's abdomen. Also why is that guy not sucking on one of those nipples in that room? Seriously, what a waste.

Two more days left to enter my giveaway, bitches!

17 comments:

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Congrats on the award and the 101 followers. You ROCK Miss Yvonne! I'm so happy to know you!! You always make my day and the title of your post today gave me a good laugh!!

Jugs@@

Kim said...

You sure that's the first thing your Mom would be upset about? So much to choose from... I can imagine you anxiously awaiting the UPS guy like a kid at Christmas.

Chris said...

My mom would be all. "When was that picture taken? I don't remember your hair ever being like that." And then I would have to try to explain it all to her and it would deteriorate from there.

diane said...

I can hardly type, I'm laughing and choking on my goldfish crackers!!
Oh, yeah, congrats on the boobie award. xo

miss. chief said...

i hate the title because of that apostrophe.

Candice said...

Lucky bitch.

That reminds me, I need to get some fresh batteries for Barney.

Yes he's purple.

Shut up.

The Peach Tart said...

Congrats on the award. I'm gonna go play with my Hitachi Magic Wand now.

Jules said...

Don't you find it interesting that you AND your housemate are going to be masturbating to Cats?

Congratulations on your Boobies Award! It totally goes well with you winning the new vibrator and all!!

And remember ;) you're choosing me tomorrow....we have that deal and GOD knows about it. So does your mom.

Dana's Brain said...

Congratulations on the award! That sure is a lot of boobies.

Hope your package gets there soon! (heh.)

diane said...

Jule's comment is hilarious.

Kurt said...

I think someone has been reading my dreams and that's how they got that picture of the booby-room. Get out of my head, Fascists!

Nikki said...

Doesn't it just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside to think of a place like that?! It does me. You are welcome!

plo said...

I am so comforted in knowing that when I get to hell, I will have you there with me. Also, can you please provide me with your Mother's address...I just want to send her a Christmas card.

Vic said...

I didn't hate the title with the apostrophe, but I was all confused by it. I had that "huh?" expression every time I saw it in the sidebar.

Nice boobie award!!

*Akilah Sakai* said...

The Peach Tart,

Hitachi makes vibrators? Get out!

LG should make 'em, too. It stands for Life's Good and it damn sure is good when you can get off without somebody wanting to talk and cuddle.

Lauren said...

I'm really excited about finding your blog - you are flippin hilarious! Your post about Renty and the cat made me choke on my gum - I almost needed the Heimlich. Thanks for a great read!

Hippo Brigade said...

That award is nothing short of amazing. You should go get Nikki a whole bag of Mc Donalds french fries, because, seriously, nothing says I love you like a hundred boobies.