Friday, October 22, 2010

Continuing To Make A Great Impression With My Sausage Fingers

How is your job going?

I really hate that question. My parents ask it every time we talk and I hear it at least once a week from either Captain Carl or friends or my sister. I hate that question because I don’t ever know what to say. Sometimes I say “I hate it” but that’s not really true. I don’t hate my job. I don’t anything my job. It’s just there. It’s just my job. It’s what I do during the day to pay the bills each month until I can quit and become a photographer full-time. Okay, some days I really do hate it, but who wants to hear me say that? So I just say “Oh it’s fine” and move on to a different topic.

But there are days at my office that I actually enjoy. Usually it’s the days that we screw around and don’t get any real work done. Someone brings in donuts or candy and it's probably a Friday and we're all happy because we're wearing jeans and things get silly and then someone ends up emailing out a stupid and embarrassing picture of me. Because for some reason when I’m having a good time, I decide someone just has to take my picture. I’m all “Check it out! I’m totally doing this super hilarious thing! Take my picture!” and then we all laugh and I think maybe this job isn’t so bad after all. And then I go home and come back in the morning and see the picture that got emailed around and I wonder what the hell I was thinking.

So this month’s picture?




Yeah.

I thought it was hilarious at the time because hahaa omg this mask is sooo funny!

And then it got emailed to everyone in the office.

And then it went in the monthly newsletter. The newsletter that goes out to not only my office but also the parent company’s office. The parent company, y’all. Thanks to my stupid-ass self getting all hopped up on Halloween candy, me and my sausage fingers are now currently touring the CEO’s computer screen.

*sigh*

At least I’ll have something to tell my parents this weekend in response to their question…



How is your job going?

Great! Last week I ate five mini-Twix bars and then wore a Frankenstein mask around the office and someone took a picture of me making a stupid face with sausage finger claws and they totally put it in the company newsletter!

Is that……good?

I’ll probably get a promotion because of it. Or fired. One of the two.

Oh dear....



19 comments:

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

It turns out that there are many things that can either get a person promoted or fired.... Might as well be something you enjoyed at the time!

Jules said...

So your job is going as well as my job.....

Gen said...

I like the idea of a CEO getting this picture. Every CEO needs a little "chick in a Frankenstein mask" in their life, don't they?

withlit said...

I have the exact same relationship with my job. Sometimes I hate it, usually it's just what I am doing until I get into grad school or land an editing gig, and then every once in a while I feel lucky to have it because of cool people and/or $.

When someone takes a foolish picture of me at the Halloween party next week, I'll be sure to post it. I usually have two chins in my pictures and it's gross.

p.s.- I switched to Wordpress 'cause it's prettier.

Beta Dad said...

You're definitely getting a promotion. I mean, c'mon...it that picture doesn't have "executive material" written all over it, I don't know what does. (For the record, I've never worked anywhere that had "executives.")

nova said...

Hahaha! Sugar buzz frankenstein is the new drunk pirate!

Didactic Pirate said...

You won't get fired for wearing a Frankenstein mask and making claw hands.

You'll get fired because behind that cubicle wall, you weren't wearing pants.

Admit it.

P.S. My word verification for this comment was "labilate." I'm not sure what that is, but it's definitely dirty. Whatever you do, don't EVER labilate at the office. You'll definitely get fired for that. And possibly sued for harassment.

Vinny C said...

Personally, I've found executives to like an employee that can show a little aggression. Things may be looking up for you.

Daffy said...

Positives: Twix candy bars and not Twix flavored vodka

Positives: Frankestein mask covering eyes and not bunghole

I say on the whole, not too bad. Cause you know, I'd never put a mask on my arse and have someone take a picture after downing too much vodka....at...er...uh...wor..I'm gonna just stop typing now

Ed said...

I would think the Captain should be the judge of how you're doing at your "job".

And whether your sausage fingers are being utilized appropriately.

Mel Spillman artwork said...

That is hilarious!

diane said...

Will you just take a breath and chill for a minute? Seriously.....remember back when you couldn't give a rat's *ss about a job like the one you've got now? So here you are....working at a job that means nothing to you, just so you can pay the bills.
I think you should get a medal for boosting everybody's moral in that place. And one other thing....you've got a family that is GOLD, and lucky to have you.
Just thought you should know. Hugs. xo d
p.s.- whoever told you that you have sausage fingers should be shot.

Kim said...

I have sausage fingers too! And little Vienna sausage toes.

I just agreed to pay $400 for someone to take pics of my family--you should definitely retire soon.

Seems like a small fortune to me, but I'm too embarrassed at this point to say Holy shit I can't afford that-- cancel! Cancel!

I'm such a pushover. I better look like Lucy Fucking Liu in those pictures.

Mama Wheaton said...

You look great and you should get a promotion for lifting the morale (sp) of the office or something like that. Every office needs a you!

Veronica Marcetti Dimick said...

My vote is for you getting a promotion. It seems highly probable.

Joanna Jenkins said...

I bet you're a blast to work with-- with or without Halloween candy hyping you up.
xo jj

The Vegetable Assassin said...

So, is it wrong that I spat out a peanut there when I saw that. I laughed so hard I may have duetted with my bum as well. Because it's not even the photo so much as the whole delicious scenario. And the image in my head of the CEO's face when he sees that as he's smoking a cigar and touching himself one dark evening. :)

Nina Patricia @ The Adventures of Nina Patricia said...

I wish I would have done more of that instead of being responsible for 4 freaking years, only to be layoff and now the stupid bastards refuse to pay me unemployment.
I say next time I'll wear a mask everyday and have fun

Kelly Fox said...

Dear Lord.. I've lived that job! Get out now!! I kid, but not really.. It's so mindless,a nd boring and sucks the life out of you day after day. I like your fingers though, not in a creepy stalker, I wanna chop off your fingers and switch them for mine, although I don't like mine, I have tiny little girl elf hands with long weird alien fingers, and my hands have always looked all old and wrinkly.