Monday, February 14, 2011

How My Husband Locked In Sexual Favors For The Next Month


He bought me this for Valentine’s Day:


He bought me Harry, y’all.

Tickets to see Harry, just to be clear. But still, buying me a seat to be in the same room as Harry pretty much guarantees that he will get lucky many times over both leading up to and for several days after the concert. All he has to do now is smile indulgently when I squeal "ohmygod Harry!" every 10 minutes and pretend that he doesn't hear me ask my sister if she thinks it would be pretentious to name our baby Doctor Jazz Connick Jr. and he's got it made.

The concert is at the end of March, so I need to get busy planning the outfit I’ll be wearing when Harry falls in love with me. I'm thinking something eye catching. Are tube tops still in style? And do they make them with flashing heart headlights, or will I need to customize one myself?

I’ve already started my letter to let him know I’ll be there, so he knows to get ready to start falling in love soon. I'm sure he'll be totally excited and not at all wanting to take out another restraining order against me. I mean, one is really enough to get the point across that you like to play hard to get, Harry.

Such a tease, that one.


I may even make a sign to hold up. I’m thinking maybe something like this:

I think the rainbow colors make it seem more festive and not all creepy.





19 comments:

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Why does your boyfriend, Harry, look totally constipated in that photo? It's like he's going, "What is this thing in my butt that is preventing my business from completing?"

Seriously though, the Captain done good. Does he have a Harry mask? That would be tres pervy.

Moooooog35 said...

You can never go wrong with tube tops as long as you wear the matching leg warmers.

Godspeed, woman.

TexaGermaNadian said...

I LOVE Harry Connick Jr. His songs and Hope Floats makes me swoon. Have a great time!

corticoWhat said...

Mmmm? I took my wife to see Harry, years ago, but I never made the connection until now. I need to speak to my son.......Harry.

Karen said...

mmm.... LOVE Harry!

ajm said...

It's a good husband who will buy his wife tickets to see the man she longs to go home with. I love it!

SarcasmInAction said...

I'm pretty sure that sign itself will be enough for him to swoon and fall head over heels in love with you. But add the tube top, and HELLO love connection!

A Kitchen Witch said...

That guy is one hot piece of Acesh. Lucky you. All I got was my car impounded : )

Mrs BC said...

God DAMN that man is hot. Hotteh Mchot hot. I have seen him twice in concert, the last time our seats where 6 back from the stage - you could see every ripple of 6 pack through his tight black t-shirt. I am not married to corticoWhat but guess what our eldest son's real name is??
I think just be your usual vivacious self, Ms Yvonne, & that will be enough to attract Mr Connick,Jnr's attention. Don't forget your sex toy ear rings & smile brightly.
Mrs BC
xx
PS My word verification is 'maken' hehehe.

Eva Gallant said...

What a great gift! Your man is definitely a keeper!

Beta Dad said...

That dude has some salacious lips. Also plump.

Sassy Stylings said...

I've seen Harry in concert twice. You will not be disappointed. He will charm you with his wit, enrapture you with his ruggedly handsome good looks, and the way he strokes those keys will make you wet your panties.

Hmmm... That husband of yours, he's a smart cookie...

Kurt said...

Is this a chick post? It totally is because i don't know what half of it means.

You should wear JUST a tube top, so you can really grab his attention. Maybe eat a banana and wink a lot.

kyouell said...

I saw the title of your post over on The Bloggess, came over & laughed my ass off. Then followed the link to TMI Thursday & your post about yeast infections.

I love you.

diane said...

Capt. Carl is soooo getting laid after that concert, he he.

Just an fyi: According to my blog stats, you are the number one referring url and the only blog referring site (besides google.uk, google.fr, ect.) for my blog. I was blown away when I realized how many of my readers came through you. Thanks so much!

Joanna Jenkins said...

You are in for a real treat. I've seen Harry perform and he's awesome! You are a lucky girl. Have a blast.
jj

whatsupwiththat said...

I only wish my husband were half as smart as yours. Mine thinks snoring through Glee and Dancing with the Stars will get him some later up in the boudoir. Yeah, so sometimes it does if Max on DWTS or Sam on Glee has their shirt off. But back to you and your fab hubby. I say put both of you in tube tops and matching headbands and Harry will join you BOTH in your boudoir! Rawr!

Jules said...

And all I got was flowers.

Heidi-"Heidi in Real Life" said...

So funny! What *won't* you do for Mr. Connick? I'm a new fan.