Monday, June 25, 2012

The Fine Line Between Being Hilarious And Being A Grandmother

Texting with the Kiddo...

Kiddo:  Hey the deposit came through today.  Thank you thank you thank you!
Me:  G
Me:  Damn it, that was supposed say "Good".
Kiddo:  I've already made $215 at KFC, but I won't get it until the next paycheck.  :-(
Me:  When does the next paycheck come?
Kiddo:  Not for two more weeks.
Me:  Has Bunny found a job yet?

Side note...I forgot to tell you guys that he got back together with Bunny on account of how she followed him and enrolled at his college and I'm not sure what the sequence of events was after that except that I suppose at one point his penis accidentally fell into her vagina and now they are living together over the summer in a house 6 miles from campus with a Mexican guy named Geronimo.  I'm not even kidding.  And yes, I will go into more detail about Geronimo, but not today.  Blogging 101, dudes...always keep them wanting more. 

So.  Anyway...

Me:  Has Bunny found a job yet?
Kiddo:  Yes, she works at KFC too.
Me:  So y'all work together.  Awwww, so cute.
Kiddo:  Yup.  Pretty damn lucky and convenient.
Me:  Y'all might as well just go ahead and get married and start having babies.

*phone silence*

Me:  I'M KIDDING.

*longer phone silence*

Me:  You know, because that would be ridiculous and I'm just being hilarious over here.

*more phone silence*

Me:  Ok, your silence makes me think you already ARE having babies and are just trying to find a way to tell me so that I don't totally freak out and have a panic attack and OMG HOW AM I GOING TO TELL YOUR FATHER I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE A GRANDMOTHER!!!!

*still more phone silence*

Me:  Stop smoking that bowl/having sex and answer your stepmother before she passes out!

*more mother fucking phone silence*

Me:  I swear to all that is good and holy that if you do not answer me RIGHT NOW I WILL DRIVE DOWN THERE AND CUT YOUR PRIVATE PARTS OFF.
Kiddo:  Calm down, I was in the bathroom.  And may I just say oh hellllllll no to babies.
Me:  Oh.  Okay.
Me:  That was totally hilarious, right?  Me pretending to freak out.  heh heh
Kiddo:  Right.  Pretending.

So.  Guess who's getting a box full of condoms sent to him tomorrow?


34 comments:

Michon said...

THAT is hysterical!

The garage behind us has "I love a guy's name" written in spray paint. I think of you every time I drive by.

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

THAT IS AWESOME!!!!! When my friend's son left for college, she packed a huge box of condoms in his luggage and attached a note that read, "Every Single Time"!!

See Kate run. said...

I was freaking out from blog post title all the way to the bottom. Send them some spermicide and an IUD while you're at it!

A Kitchen Witch said...

Yep. They're trying to kill us off by heart attacks, them teens.

Mrs BC said...

He left the phone hanging while he went to the bathroom? Cut his privates off anyway!
x

Eva Gallant said...

Will one box of condoms be enough? I mean if his penis just falls into her vagina......

Venom said...

Hee hee, yeah, pretended to freak out. Yeah.

There is no substitute for parental vigilence, lest it turn in to grand-parental attention.

I like his "oh hells no" answer though, and I'd feel reassured by that except for one thing -- that girl is relentless.

Houston (aka) Tots said...

How about a coupon for a vasectomy? :)

Gorilla Bananas said...

Would being a grandmother have been so bad? They could have asked Colonel Sanders to be the Godfather.

LCV° said...

hahahaha just great... ^^

busanalayali said...

It was lovely to find our blog! I will deffo come back to have a better look.

toko baju muslim

Kelly Fox said...

Those wily penises! Always managing to trip and fall 'conveniently' near an open vagina! just tsk!

brandonatg said...

wow really cool http://www.points2shop.com/?ref=uin1348362366 check this out you can get free stuff fast and easy took me only 3 days to get enough for a iphone, next i might try to get a driod. or some games.

Beth said...

Hell, I felt my heart racing as I was reading and it's not even my kid! Glad nobody's knocked up!

She Said said...

Hooray for condoms!

WHERE are you? Your Internet silence is freaking ME out!

Char lotte said...

So vivacious blog...So good sharing and letting us to know about the heaven..

Please also visit on these hypertext keywords for purchasing latest and unique branded watches: --- mens watches | womens watches | watches

jojopig.com said...

Thanks for the posts. Good blog.

PARAMOUNT PAKISTAN TRUST said...

Thanks for good blog.

hemun brus said...


Thanks for sharing this reliable and legislative information.


Also visit on these hyperlinks :-- online tutoring | online tutoring service | tutoring online | tutors online | business tutor

anna Sonata said...

Nice article, thanks for the information.
Anna@ sewa mobil jakarta

Phạm Bảo said...

Introduce to you page large commercial
Hi there!Nice to get to know, now I'm a moderator for one of her social networking sites with healthy content.Invites you to visit offline.

- University of reputation Cao đẳng nghề
- Floors welcome Christmas music x3club
- What about the family of a people Dòng Họ Người Việt
- Huge trade center NEW VUI &
- Entertainment Center Diễn Đàn Xổ Số - Lô Gan - Xổ Số Miền Bắc - Kết quả Xổ Số - Diễn Đàn Xổ Số Vui

Would be very happy if you visit the store offline. Wishing you happiness in life
I wish you merry christmas and happy

Jawed Ali said...

Funny Epic Girls, Troll Images of Girls, Girls Funny and Loll, Funny Hot Pictures of Girls
hotentertainnews.blogspot.com

Jawed Ali said...

World's Most Latest Vehicles and Latest Cars pictures, Most speed and Expensive Cars with hot pictures
worldlatestvehicles.blogspot.com


MayanK Garg said...

21 Articles, Daily Doses for Everyday Life

MayanK Garg said...

Quick Weight Loss Diet

taim786 said...

Hello,
I must say you have a very nice blog :)
I'm from HostUG, a Domains and Web Hosting provider company.
Are you interested in having your own exclusive .COM domain, like 'www.Yo-MamasBlog.com' or 'www.Yo-MamasBlog.net' ?
If yes, then we have an exclusive offer on our opening. We can offer you '1 Year Premium Web Hosting' with a Free .COM domain of your choice. We will assist you completely in installing and managing your blog online. :)
What you will actually get?
1. One Year Web Hosting
2. A .Com Domain
3. Premium 24x7 Support
4. Auto-Installer which will automatically install a WordPress blog for you.
5. Any many many more features like Email Accounts.

So if you are serious about your blogging then don't hesitate to contact us on "hello@hostug.com" or leave a message at our Support Center

Price is just 25 USD per year.
And our support staff will help you in transferring your Blogger posts on your new WordPress Blog. :)
Waiting for listening from you at hello@hostug.com

Unknown said...

poor abandoned blog. I miss your humor.

Stacy Curran said...

I miss you and hope all is well. Really, my thoughts are with you.
Stacy Curran
Http://www.southshoredecoratingblog,com

Brad maddox said...

The Best Lol n Troll Network with the Name of Lols Gag... Troll Images, Prank Peoples, Funny Peoples, funny planet, funny facts, funny cartoons, funny movies pics, iphone funny, funny jokes, Prank Images, Fail Pictures, Epic Pictures, Lols and Gags, Lol Pictures, Funny Pictures, Lol is the Laugh out of Laugh where you can Fun Unlimited and Laughing Unlimited.
LolsGag.Com

ryan james said...

Make Money Online is very easy now, In Internet system we have now best earning system without any work, Just Invest some Money into your Business and Make Perfect Life time Earnings with this Business.
Join Now for Make Perfect Business and Earn Money online from home.
www.hotfxearnings.com

sengli kiu said...

Greetings admin I like your topic, after reading your article very helpful at all and can be a source of reference I will wait for your next article updates Thank you, for sharing

sex shop
sex shop semarang
obat memperbesar alat vital
obat pembesar penis
vimax asli
sex toys vagina senter
obat penggemuk badan semarang
obat kuat cialis

sengli kiu said...

Greetings admin I like your topic, after reading your article very helpful at all and can be a source of reference I will wait for your next article updates Thank you, for sharing

sex shop
sex shop semarang
sex toys semarang
alat pembesar penis
vimax asli
obat kuat semarang
boneka sex full body
obat perangsang wanita semarang

bloggervariasi said...

article highly qualified friend .., thanks for sharing information, If do seo for my blog Belajar SEO dan Blog as my blog have 2000+ visitor and I want 5000 Belajar SEO dan Blog Belajar SEO dan Blog Belajar SEO dan Blog Belajar SEO dan Blog Belajar SEO dan Blog

Trevia Milliona said...

lol totally