Five days from now I'm going to be totally hammered and on my way to not being able to make the April car payment.
VEGAS BABY!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Damn You Chicken Breasts!
I'm a total loser in the kitchen.
How the fuck long do you cook chicken breasts anyway? They've been in the oven for 50 damn minutes and they are still only at 140 (where the hell is the degree sign on a keyboard???). The interwebs say they need to be at a minimum of 160. How long does that take...for fuck's sake!
Now me and the kid will be eating dried up chicken breasts, like that turkey in Christmas Vacation.
So obviously Captain Carl is the cook in our house. And he's not here tonight. He left me, all alone to deal with this FUCKING CHICKEN!
I hate cooking.
How the fuck long do you cook chicken breasts anyway? They've been in the oven for 50 damn minutes and they are still only at 140 (where the hell is the degree sign on a keyboard???). The interwebs say they need to be at a minimum of 160. How long does that take...for fuck's sake!
Now me and the kid will be eating dried up chicken breasts, like that turkey in Christmas Vacation.
So obviously Captain Carl is the cook in our house. And he's not here tonight. He left me, all alone to deal with this FUCKING CHICKEN!
I hate cooking.
Random Video Clips Day
This is my favorite episode of Fresh Prince ever. Only because of the song at the beginning. And the awesome hair flower thing she's wearing...wtf?
And while we're on the subject...I totally dance like this ...I even sing the same song.
So far this is my favorite performance this season on American Idol.
If you haven't seen some of Ross the Intern's videos, you are missing out. Hil-ar-ious. This one is my favorite.
Every office needs this guy. Hey Janice!
I heart Andy Sandberg.
And while we're on the subject...I totally dance like this ...I even sing the same song.
So far this is my favorite performance this season on American Idol.
If you haven't seen some of Ross the Intern's videos, you are missing out. Hil-ar-ious. This one is my favorite.
Every office needs this guy. Hey Janice!
I heart Andy Sandberg.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
I Cried Over a Haircut Today
I've been growing my hair out for the last 9 months or so. I prefer the way I look with shorter hair...not super short, but above the shoulders and all sticky-outy on the ends. Very cute IMO. But once in awhile I decide I'd like to have it longer. My husband loves long hair (doesn't every man though), so I also do it a little for him.
Lately I've been itching to cut it off. We're going to Vegas (baby!) in two weeks, and I really wanted to have my cute, kicky short cut back for vacation. I finally went and did it today. I picked a haircut from a magazine, showed it to my hairstylist and off she went.
It's important for me to note that I have never worried about cutting off my long hair. My hair grows fast and so my philosophy has always been "it's only hair, it will grow back". No big whoop.
So as my hairstylist starts cutting...and cutting...and cutting, I start silently freaking out. I'm screaming in my head, "NOooo!!!". I don't know what the hell happened, but apparently I was not as ready to cut it off as I thought. And just when I'd calmed myself down, she says to me "Well it too late to put back on, hope you happy!" and then she giggles. She's asian and does not speak very good english, so at first I thought I must have heard her wrong. Surely she didn't say that! But she did. Fuck.
Just my luck, I'm sitting in a styling chair right between two young, skinny women with hair hanging to the middle of their backs. One is getting hers straightened and the other is getting hers colored. I caught both of them shooting alarmed looks my way several times. I wanted to bitch slap both of them. Hard.
Every time my sylist would swing me out so I'm facing the rest of the salon, I would frantically search for any young, beautiful women that may be having their hair chopped off too. The only ones I saw were about my mother's age. I swear to God, the lady that sat down behind me told her stylist "just take a tiny bit off, I'm loving how it looks long!" Arrggghh....
So she dries it and styles it all poofy on top to make me look like I'm 50 years old and butch...I am neither of those things. Technically, the cut is exactly what I asked for though, so I figure I'll go home and style it my way and it will be fantastic. I drive home and anticipate what my adoring husband will say to make me feel better, like he usually does when I'm having image issues.
Me: What do you think?
Him: *blink*
Me: You don't like it?
Him: Do you like it?
Me: I'm not sure, I think I hate it
Him: Well, it's really short.
Me: Is that bad?
Him: I like your hair long.
Me: So you hate it?
Him: I don't hate it, it just isn't my favorite.
Me: *sniffle*
Him: Well, it's not THAT bad.
And that's where I burst into tears.
I know I can make it look better tomorrow. I'm sure I will love it! Really! I will!
*sniffle*
Lately I've been itching to cut it off. We're going to Vegas (baby!) in two weeks, and I really wanted to have my cute, kicky short cut back for vacation. I finally went and did it today. I picked a haircut from a magazine, showed it to my hairstylist and off she went.
It's important for me to note that I have never worried about cutting off my long hair. My hair grows fast and so my philosophy has always been "it's only hair, it will grow back". No big whoop.
So as my hairstylist starts cutting...and cutting...and cutting, I start silently freaking out. I'm screaming in my head, "NOooo!!!". I don't know what the hell happened, but apparently I was not as ready to cut it off as I thought. And just when I'd calmed myself down, she says to me "Well it too late to put back on, hope you happy!" and then she giggles. She's asian and does not speak very good english, so at first I thought I must have heard her wrong. Surely she didn't say that! But she did. Fuck.
Just my luck, I'm sitting in a styling chair right between two young, skinny women with hair hanging to the middle of their backs. One is getting hers straightened and the other is getting hers colored. I caught both of them shooting alarmed looks my way several times. I wanted to bitch slap both of them. Hard.
Every time my sylist would swing me out so I'm facing the rest of the salon, I would frantically search for any young, beautiful women that may be having their hair chopped off too. The only ones I saw were about my mother's age. I swear to God, the lady that sat down behind me told her stylist "just take a tiny bit off, I'm loving how it looks long!" Arrggghh....
So she dries it and styles it all poofy on top to make me look like I'm 50 years old and butch...I am neither of those things. Technically, the cut is exactly what I asked for though, so I figure I'll go home and style it my way and it will be fantastic. I drive home and anticipate what my adoring husband will say to make me feel better, like he usually does when I'm having image issues.
Me: What do you think?
Him: *blink*
Me: You don't like it?
Him: Do you like it?
Me: I'm not sure, I think I hate it
Him: Well, it's really short.
Me: Is that bad?
Him: I like your hair long.
Me: So you hate it?
Him: I don't hate it, it just isn't my favorite.
Me: *sniffle*
Him: Well, it's not THAT bad.
And that's where I burst into tears.
I know I can make it look better tomorrow. I'm sure I will love it! Really! I will!
*sniffle*
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Puke Monster Update
Boo puked on our bed today.
Again.
Again.
Did I mention Boo speaks in an Antonio Banderas voice?
My husband is voting to "set him free in nature where he longs to be with his own kind." Luckily for Boo, this house is run by an autonomous dictatorship...and guess who's the dictator.
Seven Weird Things About Me
I got tagged by Green Eyed Mama today...my first tag ever! Yea!!
So ummm, what's a tag exactly? No kidding, I really didn't know until I went to her blog and kind of figured it out. So basically what I'm getting is someone tags you...you answer the questions...and then you tag others?? Am I right? Please help the tagging virgin...if this is wrong, please tell me so I can edit this post quickly before more people see what a stupid noob I am!
So here's the dealio.
1. Place your link at the end of the list. If you have more than 1 blog, feel free to add them all here!
2. After placing your blog’s address, you must tag 5 or more bloggers that are not yet on the list, this is to keep the ball rolling. (Please remember to let the bloggers know they've been tagged!)
The Strategist Notebook ~ Link Addiction ~ Ardour of the Heart ~ When Life Becomes a Book ~ The Malaysian Life ~ Yogatta.com ~ What goes under the sun ~ Roshidan’s Cyber Station ~ Sasha says ~ Arts of Physics ~ And the legend lives ~ My View, My Life ~ A Simple Life ~ Juliana RW ~ Mom Knows Everything ~ Beth & Cory’s Mom ~ A Mind Forever Voyaging~ enjoying the ride ~ Jennifer’s thoughts ~ Mom of 3 Girls ~ Amanda ~ Don’t Make Me Get The Flying Monkeys ~ ExPat Mom ~ Just Jessie ~ Wilson Six ~Krisitn ~ Nuttier Than You ~ Shonnte ~ Summer’s Nook ~ Laura Williams Musings ~ Sher ~ Shanda ~ Seven QTPies ~ Mel ~ Skittles ~ Lady Banana ~ Momhood Moments ~ Business Mars ~ A Simple life ~ moms….. check nyo ~ Mommy’s Little Corner ~ Pampered ~ HappyHeart ~ Make Every Day Your Lucky Day ~ Thumbelina Creations ~ Ivonnardona's Creations ~ Jewellery Craft ~ A Bead a Day~ Useless Ramblings ~Candid Yammering ~ Green Eyed Mama ~ Yo-Mama's Blog
This is pretty cool for a new blogger like me. I really wanted to find interesting blogs to read, and here is a list for me to start with. Awesome, thanks Green Eyed Mama. Unfortunately, I don't really know who to tag, since I am new...so I'm allowing myself to skip that part. What?? I'll catch up on the next round, m'kay?
And here are my seven weird things about me.
1. I can recite Pee Wee's Big Adventure pretty much from beginning to end. Best. Movie. Ever. I have a thing for Pee Wee (the character...not Paul Reubens...there is a big difference), which explains all the references here. Ask me a question about that movie, I'll have the answer.
2. I have conversations with myself out loud. I have since I was a little girl. I was the youngest of 4 daughters, but I came 10 years after them, so it was pretty much like being an only child. I played a lot by myself, so I pretended there was always someone in the room with me. I never had a specific imaginary friend, I just had conversations with no one. And I never shook that habit, I do it every single day. I get caught all the time. Recently I was in the restroom at work, just chatting away before I realized someone else was in there. Awwwwkward!
3. I believe in ghosts. Big time. I had an experience in the house I grew up in that I swear is true. I bought a digital voice recorder this year and actually tried to get some EVP's (electronic voice phenomenon, duh) at a supposedly haunted B&B recently. I watch ghost hunting shows on tv, I read about people's encounters with ghosts and look at ghost pictures online. I've tried to capture spirits in pictures. I email spooky videos and evp's to my friends. Most of my family and friends are non-believers, so I get made fun of a lot.
4. When I'm really happy or excited, I do the running man. Doesn't matter where I am. Grocery store, the office, in the front yard. I just can't contain myself. As an added bonus, I have really big boobs so imagine that sight.
5. I heart karaoke. It makes me so happy! The more I drink , the better I am at it. I made my husband buy me a stand-up karaoke machine for Christmas last year...and we use it all the time. My signature song is "Baby Got Back". I know every single word of it, and I actually get requests for it...no kidding. Like I'm some kind of fucking lounge singer. It's fantastic!!
6. I swear. All the time. I have no inner monologue and I say all the bad words at the most inappropriate times.
7. I hate the word "moist". Yuck.
So ummm, what's a tag exactly? No kidding, I really didn't know until I went to her blog and kind of figured it out. So basically what I'm getting is someone tags you...you answer the questions...and then you tag others?? Am I right? Please help the tagging virgin...if this is wrong, please tell me so I can edit this post quickly before more people see what a stupid noob I am!
So here's the dealio.
1. Place your link at the end of the list. If you have more than 1 blog, feel free to add them all here!
2. After placing your blog’s address, you must tag 5 or more bloggers that are not yet on the list, this is to keep the ball rolling. (Please remember to let the bloggers know they've been tagged!)
The Strategist Notebook ~ Link Addiction ~ Ardour of the Heart ~ When Life Becomes a Book ~ The Malaysian Life ~ Yogatta.com ~ What goes under the sun ~ Roshidan’s Cyber Station ~ Sasha says ~ Arts of Physics ~ And the legend lives ~ My View, My Life ~ A Simple Life ~ Juliana RW ~ Mom Knows Everything ~ Beth & Cory’s Mom ~ A Mind Forever Voyaging~ enjoying the ride ~ Jennifer’s thoughts ~ Mom of 3 Girls ~ Amanda ~ Don’t Make Me Get The Flying Monkeys ~ ExPat Mom ~ Just Jessie ~ Wilson Six ~Krisitn ~ Nuttier Than You ~ Shonnte ~ Summer’s Nook ~ Laura Williams Musings ~ Sher ~ Shanda ~ Seven QTPies ~ Mel ~ Skittles ~ Lady Banana ~ Momhood Moments ~ Business Mars ~ A Simple life ~ moms….. check nyo ~ Mommy’s Little Corner ~ Pampered ~ HappyHeart ~ Make Every Day Your Lucky Day ~ Thumbelina Creations ~ Ivonnardona's Creations ~ Jewellery Craft ~ A Bead a Day~ Useless Ramblings ~Candid Yammering ~ Green Eyed Mama ~ Yo-Mama's Blog
This is pretty cool for a new blogger like me. I really wanted to find interesting blogs to read, and here is a list for me to start with. Awesome, thanks Green Eyed Mama. Unfortunately, I don't really know who to tag, since I am new...so I'm allowing myself to skip that part. What?? I'll catch up on the next round, m'kay?
And here are my seven weird things about me.
1. I can recite Pee Wee's Big Adventure pretty much from beginning to end. Best. Movie. Ever. I have a thing for Pee Wee (the character...not Paul Reubens...there is a big difference), which explains all the references here. Ask me a question about that movie, I'll have the answer.
2. I have conversations with myself out loud. I have since I was a little girl. I was the youngest of 4 daughters, but I came 10 years after them, so it was pretty much like being an only child. I played a lot by myself, so I pretended there was always someone in the room with me. I never had a specific imaginary friend, I just had conversations with no one. And I never shook that habit, I do it every single day. I get caught all the time. Recently I was in the restroom at work, just chatting away before I realized someone else was in there. Awwwwkward!
3. I believe in ghosts. Big time. I had an experience in the house I grew up in that I swear is true. I bought a digital voice recorder this year and actually tried to get some EVP's (electronic voice phenomenon, duh) at a supposedly haunted B&B recently. I watch ghost hunting shows on tv, I read about people's encounters with ghosts and look at ghost pictures online. I've tried to capture spirits in pictures. I email spooky videos and evp's to my friends. Most of my family and friends are non-believers, so I get made fun of a lot.
4. When I'm really happy or excited, I do the running man. Doesn't matter where I am. Grocery store, the office, in the front yard. I just can't contain myself. As an added bonus, I have really big boobs so imagine that sight.
5. I heart karaoke. It makes me so happy! The more I drink , the better I am at it. I made my husband buy me a stand-up karaoke machine for Christmas last year...and we use it all the time. My signature song is "Baby Got Back". I know every single word of it, and I actually get requests for it...no kidding. Like I'm some kind of fucking lounge singer. It's fantastic!!
6. I swear. All the time. I have no inner monologue and I say all the bad words at the most inappropriate times.
7. I hate the word "moist". Yuck.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Meet the Puke Monsters
We have two puke machines in our house. Their names are Maxine Peepee Pants and Boo Boo Kitty Cat. Max and Boo for short. Their full time jobs are to puke as much as possible...preferably in the middle of the night right in front of the bed or bathroom sink. You know, so we can step in it on our way to the bathroom. I swear they do it on purpose. One time I thought I heard Max giggling when my husband squished a little bit of hairball between his toes.
Cute, huh?
Cute, huh?
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