Monday, April 25, 2011

On The Positive Side, I Now Have A Gay 19 Year Old Boyfriend

In the past 48 hours I have done all of the following:

1. Visited my in-laws for Easter weekend.
2. Ate approximately 53 mini chocolate eggs.
3. Drank two very large top shelf margaritas on my father-in-law’s dime.
4. Ate a lot of chips and salsa while drinking said margaritas.
5. Got drunk and flirted with my son’s 19 year old gay friend while Captain Carl laughed his ass off.
6. Was reminded by my son of the time I got drunk and flirted with his other, non-gay friend by singing Prince's "Sexy Motherfucker" to him.
7. Got called a cougar by Captain Carl. Made clawing motion and sounds vaguely resembling cat noises.
8. Puked my guts out at three in the morning.
9. Refused to speak to Captain Carl after he got a speeding ticket.
10.Drove through torrential rain and hail. Promised God I would never flirt with my son's friends or be hung over on Easter again if we got home safely.
11. Got home safely. So long, younger men and margaritas. Damn it.


And that was how I celebrated the resurrection of Christ this year.

My mother would be so disappointed. So would, you know...Jesus.

p.s. The gay kid loved it.
p.p.s. So did the non-gay one. Because I'm just that awesome. Rawr.


15 comments:

Mama Wheaton said...

You are just that awesome!

Vic said...

You always have had style!! Give the gay boy toy a kiss for me next time you break out the margaritas.

I spent Easter fighting off another case of vertigo, which, in case you're wondering, does not sit well with a house full of hard-boiled eggs.

Danielle said...

I am a 30-something woman and I would love that.

Linnea said...

I legitimately burst out laughing at when I saw the title of this blog and haven't yet stopped.

Mandy_Fish said...

I laughed out loud too upon seeing the title. The post did not disappoint.

You are now a rock star to me.

sorry4disappointingyou said...

Well there really is no negative side to having a 19 gay boyfriend, it's all a round postive win win situation!

Brandy Rose said...

Lmfao! I love you!

Jules said...

Sexy Motherfucker is the best Easter song EVAH!

Megs said...

I thought I was a terrible person on Easter because I basically did nothing, cussed a lot, and then did some more nothing. And then vaguely recalled it was Easter.

You win this time, Miss Yvonne. But just wait. I will defeat you someday.

nova said...

Margarita and chips&salsa barf? Ouch!

Nina Patricia @ The Adventures of Nina Patricia said...

uh, DUH, of course he loved all that sexiness

Miss Rosie said...

Nothing better than a 19 year old gay boyfriend, you know he's going to call when he needs someone to buy the alcohol and you will fer sher have a date\

Love your blog

Logical Libby said...

You and the pope.

Dr. Cynicism said...

Sounds like a helluva awesome 2 days! You rock!

contestmob said...

Looks like you had a fun weekend! :D