Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Goodbye To My Boo Boo

So last week was really rough. Not to get all frowny and poor me on you guys, but here’s what happened.

My dad wound up in the emergency room with a very painful colon problem.
The brakes went out in my car and I was almost killed running a red light.
We had to put my sweet old Boo kitty to sleep.

That right there is a trifecta of fucked up.

So not fair that all that happened in a 5 day period. It was so bad that on Friday at work, I laid my head down on my desk and yelled out “Jesus take the wheel!” in desperation. It got a good laugh in the office, but I kind of meant it. I mean, how much can one girl take? Way to be an asshole, universe.

It seems like animal death has been hovering near me for a year now. My in-laws lost their beloved dog last year. Then a close friend lost their dog. Then a month ago, two friends from work had to put down their pets. And every time someone lost an animal, I would get scared. Because both of my cats are old. It won’t be long before it’s your turn, my mind would say.

And then? It was my turn. Boo got sick this spring, diagnosed with diabetes and maybe cancer. He went downhill fast and we knew he wasn’t going to make it through the summer. But I don’t care how prepared you think you are…when you love someone or something, you are never ready for the end.

When it became clear that the best thing for Boo was to give him peace from his illness, I told Captain Carl that I couldn’t take him to the vet. I just couldn’t do it. He understood and told me not to worry, he could handle it just fine. He is not as attached to our pets as I am and he had been much more logical about Boo’s condition than I had been. Meaning he didn’t wail and cry and hug the cat super tight and whisper in his ear that “you are the best cat on the face of the earth and you WILL NOT DIE on me, okay?”. Like I did.

So it was a complete shock to both of us when Boo’s Friday afternoon appointment with kitty heaven arrived and the Captain completely fell apart. Luckily, my sister went with him so he wouldn’t have to be alone. Unluckily, she also fell apart. The two most solid people in my life were reduced to blubbering messes in the exam room when the moment of truth arrived. They told me that night over double vodka sours how it was better I wasn’t there. How they both wanted to tell the vet it was a mistake and take Boo back home. How Boo was sweet right up to the end. How he seemed to understand what was happening and was okay with it. How he went quickly and peacefully. And how after Boo was gone, the Captain stayed with him for 10 minutes, talking to him and rubbing his belly because he was afraid the poison hadn’t really worked and Boo would wake up and be scared.

It killed me. It killed me that I wasn’t strong enough to be there. That I instead had the luxury of saying goodbye to Boo at home, where he was comfortable and not being injected with something to make his heart stop. That because of my weakness, the Captain had to do it without me.

I lost my little buddy and I am heartbroken. But my dad is recovering slowly from a bacterial infection and the Captain is doing just fine and fixing the brakes on my car and life goes on. There are good things happening in my life. The sadness will eventually become a dull ache instead of a sharp one. And someday I’ll be able to look at Boo’s picture and not cry, but instead smile and remember how much he loved boxes and catnip, how he could catch flies in mid-air, how his back leg would scratch at the air when I rubbed his ears, how pink his nose got when he was excited, how good natured he was…how much we loved him.

And just to end all this sad stuff in a nice way, I decided to link to some old blog posts about my old Boo.

National Cat Puke Day
Captain Carl's World Of Fur
Happy Cat Dingleberry Day
Adventures In Pet Photography
Boo Sounds Like Antonio Banderas

And here's the last video I took of Boo from the night before he went to kitty heaven. Ignore my giant man hands...

Bye Bye To My Boo Boo




Love you, buddy.



44 comments:

Raquel's World said...

Girl Paleeze-- I am the queen of bad luck. Hence my blog. So much jacked up ish happens to me that no one would even believe it all. I have also had my brakes give out in 5 o"clock traffic with three babies in the car. I have been told I had cancer (mistakenly...wrong file, found out my man was cheating, my kid shot his teeth out with a stapler, my home was taken over by termites and thats just the recent stuff. But this is not my blog, it's yours. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone life sucks tremendously for me on most days.

Raquel's World said...

How freaking insensitive of me...sorry about BooBoo

Erin said...

So sorry to hear about Boo.

Vinny C said...

Dang! Sorry for your loss (and all the other bad luck you've been going through).

The Curmudgeon said...

I'm so, so sorry; it's so hard to lose a beloved pet. Boo had loved ones with him at the end and had a wonderful life with you for so many years; you were both blessed to have each other. I hope the good memories are giving you some peace in this hard time.

otherworldlyone said...

I'm so sorry about Boo Boo (and all your other bad luck). :( I've always loved reading the posts that included your cats.

I lost my cat Nugget just a few weeks ago suddenly. It really, really sucks. Hugs to you.

jbg said...

I have never met Boo Boo, but I am crying like a freaking baby right here. Just thinking of my buddy that I had for 17 years, and looking at the one that's getting up there. Oh Lord, don't let me be next.

Jessica B said...

oh...so sorry to hear about your run of bad luck. they say it comes in threes so you should be all good now. losing a pet is so hard. hope it gets easier soon...

Whiskey Girl said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

Me Jane said...

I'm so sorry. They really worm their way into your heart and when it comes time for them to go, it just kills. Sorry to be all cliche-y and junk, but you made the right decision, which is a difficult and brave thing to do. Your final gift to Boo Boo. Again, I'm so sorry...

Wow, that was awkward said...

Awww, sorry about the Boo Boo. My dad had some big problems with his colon and had to have part of it removed. I think secretly he was very happy because afterwards he got to tell everyone about his "semi colon."

Ed said...

I'm not a cat person.

And I didn't even go to the vet with Capt., but that shit choked me up right there.

Damn you.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
DON'T GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Nadine said...

I'm so sorry about Boo Boo, your dad, your car and having to call upon Jesus to take your wheel. I'm going to hug my Lil' Guy extra tight, give him extra nip and not call him dumb today even a little bit because this made me bawl like a bitch with a skinned knee.

Eva Gallant said...

I remember when we had to have Beau put to sleep. I cried my eyes out. It's hard to part with such dear friends.

SherilinR said...

uuggh! now i'm weeping.

Mandy_Fish said...

Goddamn it you made me cry. I'm so sorry for your loss. My god we love those fur babies, don't we? They're the best. I lost my two dogs within a year or so of each other and man that was a hard time. Haven't had the gumption to get any more pets since. Furry heartbreakers.

Hang in there.

Holly Ellis said...

ok, I usually laugh my ass off at your posts, but this one made me cry. I am also wayyy to attached to my pet, and hate to think about when it will be his time. Luckily he is only 5, so he has some good years left. Anyways though, thanks for sharing, and I feel for ya!

Kristine said...

My god, picturing Captain Carl (who...I actually don't know what he looks like) saying goodbye to the cat. Sobbing.

The world is a complete asshole. I'm so sorry about Boo. And your dad. And nearly being killed.

I'm lovin' on you in a completely inappropriate way over here.

Brandy Rose said...

I'm so sorry. I've lost some great pets before so I know how hard it is. Hope things get better for you soon.

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

ugh. it's fucking HORRIBLE the way pets sneak their furry way into our lives, make themselves right at home in our hearts, and then leave before we want them to. even i got choked up reading this entry. our pets are our babies.

i'm sorry for your loss. :(

kyouell said...

I'm sending you big-ole internet luvs because I feel much much guilt. My very beloved, knew all my secrets, doggie was so stinking sweet to me that he passed away just 2 days before we were going to put him down. He spared me that pain and I just cannot imagine that I would have been able to be there while that happened. I'm with you & 3 super-big Playhouse cheers for Cap'n Carl & your sister. They rock for supporting you like that. In my unknowledgeable opinion, Jesus took your wheel when he gave you the Cap'n.

Miss Yvonne said...

Wow, you guys are the greatest bunch of sentimental fuckers ever. This is why I love bloggers. Thanks for being here for me. Sensual boob hugs for everyone!

Chunky Mama said...

So sorry about your Kitty Boo. It's so unbelievably hard losing a pet. I've lost many over the years and it never gets easier.
Hope things start to get back to "normal" for you soon, and that your dad is quickly back to 100%.
Thinking of you.

katEh.d0lL said...

I am so sorry :( My last kitty is literally 20+ years and I live 3 states away. I miss his cuteness and your awesome post just made me bawl like a baby and call my Mom just to talk to the machine.. He can hear me I hope...

M. Hicks said...

I am so sorry to hear that, but I would still like to thank you for coining "trifecta of fucked up"

I don't think you were as weak as realistic, and I think given the Cpt.'s light breakdown, it might be better all the way around to have the visit in the office and the responsibility with the vet.

Bad things come in three too. Breathe.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Goddamn it dude, stop making me all, "Oh, something's in my eye, I'll be right back." It's costing me a fortune in eyeliner all this pet dying business that's happening to everyone this week. Seriously though, that sucks giant balls and is a horrible, horrible thing to go through and I'd be exactly like you, and have been in the past. It's a hideous and heartbreaking thing. Poor you and the Cap'n and your sis. And poor Boo. Feel better, ok?

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Aw, he looked like a super snugglebug. I'm really sorry, Miss Y. It's the worst feeling to have to go through that. Do you have the book Cat Heaven? If you ever feel cry-stapated, it helps.

Sassy Stylings said...

That is definitely a nasty-ass trifecta of crapola. My deepest sympathies go out to you and yours.

I had to put down a beloved pet a couple years ago and it was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do.

It definitely gets better with time, but I still choke up sometimes when I think of my sweet cat Bilbo. His sister was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease last year, and I'll have to do it all over again at some point. It totally sucks.

I share your pain sista...

Joie said...

Oh, gee...thanks. I SO wanted to start crying while sitting at my desk.

Asshole.

Ugh...I am SO sorry for your loss and everything happening in a super screwed up trifecta!

aerocline said...

I am writing this with my bird Rooney on my shoulder, all nestled into my hair and snuggly--yeah, birds can be snuggly. And I have tears a-running down my face from watching your ByeBye to BooBoo video.

Rooney and I send hugs and aloha to you and Captain Carl.

Sarah P said...

DAMN IT.

*sobbing, pounding fists on desk*

Michon said...

Hugs to you.

The Jules said...

That last pic says it all about his life.

A good 'un, I reckon.

Condolences.

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

I am so, so sorry, Miss Yvonne. Boo was obviously the world's most awesome cat. Obviously.Way better than my three. Maybe.
xxoo

Flmomi said...

gahhh you made me cry! I've been there and since my hubby is weak, I was the one who had to be at the vet... didn't help they loved him too, and were crying with me. RIP Boo.. you've got a friend Normy waiting to play...

bleedingheart said...

Oh, now I'm all watery eyes and lip-quivery at work, and pretending I have allergies in the middle of July, when I'm actually crying over your cat. Boo was lucky to have you...so sorry for your loss :(

calzacmom said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. This post made me cry as I've been in your shoes 2 times in the past 3 years. Hang in there.

Mrs BC said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your Boo. We lost our Happy Dog a few months ago & it was fucking traumatizing, we should have had family grief counselling. What makes me feel better about it is knowing that Happy Dog had a safe & loving home, he lived with a great family that looked after him really well, & taking him on that last visit to the vet's meant that he wasn't in pain anymore. I hope you remember these things about Boo.
Hugs.
x

Moooooog35 said...

That sucks so bad.

I couldn't go in with my dog when it was time to put her down, either. The fact that my last memory of her is the vet taking her into the back while she was looking at me will haunt me for the rest of my life and is one of my biggest regrets.

I'm so sorry.

Nina Patricia @ The Adventures of Nina Patricia said...

According to my hubs he made a deal with the devil so our cat will live forever, I hope he is right because I am so not ready to see her go (she is 12) Sending you a big hug

Cartoon Characters said...

I looked after my kitty Spike for 2 years with diabetes. Insulin injections two times per day and he did pretty good... lasted longer than most...but it takes a lot of work.

My Keke - another kitty - died last summer, from cancer. Big tumor developed on her nipple area, and I knew right away what it was. But she wasn't in pain and she had a great life right up to the end. Lasted 9 months after her diagnosis. I did dressings on her every day and she loved sitting out in the yard - it was like she didn't know she had cancer and enjoyed life...right to the last day.

It's difficult when they get sick...and lots of work to care for them when they are... :(

I found out that diabetes might be related to the type of food they eat. It's better to give them canned food than dry...I have now switched over...and our remaining cats do much better on it.

Sorry to hear about your kit. He was a beautiful cat, and interestingly enough looks a lot like my cat that had diabetes.... :( I know how you feel....i still miss both my cats.

makeinu said...

Your Boo Boo kitty looks so much like my Liao. He was white and fluffy too. Even had a little black spot on his head, about the size of a thumbprint, when he was a kitten. We loved him so much, went out of our way to take care of him, and ended up killing him with our love. Pro tip for boy cat owners: kibble that is supposed to prevent urinary tract blockages actually cause a different type of crystal buildup in the bladder over a long enough life span.

I wasn't there when Liao died after his second surgery. He died alone in a cage at the vet office. I found out the next morning at work when the vet called. I hate myself to this day. I can't help but think he'd have lived if I'd have been there. Stupid, because he was old, and was lucky to survive one surgery, but that doesn't matter.

Nothing ever replaces a lost kitty. No matter how awesome the new ones are, they're still not the same.

SueBee said...

Ok, just started reading your blog and almost peed my pants laughing about the Dick Trickle (he, he, he) column, then cried horribly about your cat! So sorry for your loss. When you love animals, it is so hard. I know I am heading that direction with my dog as well. I hope your luck changes for the better. Thank you for your insight on life and for sharing your stories and experiences.

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