Sunday, February 15, 2009

Happy Cat Dingleberry Day!

So I've got this cat. His name is Boo. He's white, fluffy and cute as the dickens. Oh and he also has this little dingleberry problem. See, Boo has kind of let himself go in recent years. His belly has gotten pretty large, and although it is adorable with all it's white fur and pink skin, it gets in the way of his.......ummm, licking needs. So I have to help him out every once in awhile by performing dingleberry removal surgery.

Cats are pretty much awesome, don't you think?

I enlisted Captain Carl to help me today....because I didn't feel like rolling around on the floor, trying to wrestle my cat into submission all alone. Lucky for him, his job was only to hold Boo still while I dealt with his nether regions. The Kiddo took pictures, in order to share details of the process with you.

You're welcome.

First I needed to suit up in my Dingleberry Removal protective gear.

Do not try this at home. I am a trained Dingleberry Remover-er.

Then I had to go find Boo.

Here he is....you can tell by his face he already knows something is about to go down.


"Ummm, why are you wearing rubber gloves?"


So I picked him up and scratched his ears to make him feel calm and comfy. Yeah, that didn't work. See his paw on my neck? He's trying to gouge me with his claws. Too bad he's declawed. Sucker!

"This is bullshit, period."


And here you see how important positioning of the cat is for this process to work. Right about now is when Boo started to growl and hiss. I don't know what he was so uptight about. I mean, if your butt hadn't been cleaned in weeks, you would appreciate a little help right? Boo is so ungrateful.


Don't worry....the Captain is not sitting on his head. No cats were harmed in the filming of this dingleberry procedure.

"I hate you. So. Hard."

So yeah, Boo is pretty pissed off right now.

Max isn't too happy either.

"Try that shit with me and I'll kill you, bitch."


6 comments:

Lulu said...

Ummm. Hmm. I know you're trying to save money and all, but you don't use the dingleberry scissors to trim the kiddo's hair, do you?

Traceytreasure said...

Our dog needs a wipe now and then. He puts up with it and I don't think that he wants to kill us after....
You are so brave!

Hugs!!

Kurt said...

I'm not saying this is the greatest piece of literature in the annals of human history, but I'm not NOT saying it either. We'll let historians decide. Until then the picture of the upside down cat was awesome.

PLO said...

This is a prime example of why I do not, and never will own a cat. Ha ha. You are brave/nuts. xo

Houston said...

OK, WAIT A MINUTE!!!

Word to the good Captain!

Captain Carl, DO NOT EVAH!!!! and I mean EVAH put an angry cat head anywhere near your groin!!!!

Those little pointy teeth can do more damage than your Moyle!

Sam said...

Am SO glad that I am not the only person that cleans cat ass.