Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Question: What Are My Chances Of Getting Paid To Blog?

Answer: Not very good.

I got an email today from a company that I've tried to scam freebies from work with in the past, asking me to submit my blog for a chance to become a featured blogger on their client's website. So ever since I figured out you can get paid for this blogging stuff, I've been dreaming of it happening to me. But here's the problem....I originally found this company through a mommy-type website and I'm pretty sure it's a straight up family-friendly kind of place. You know, the kind of place that doesn't post a lot of words like "fuck" or "asshole" or talk about things like their husband's junk busting out of their pajamas.

So yeah, I'm thinking they won't pick me. I mean, the email didn't actually say there can't be swearing or sex talk. But that's probably implied, right? What it DID say is that I have to be an expert on something and I must have a decent following. I don't know...is 13 people a decent following? Also, I'm really only an expert at accruing large amounts of debt, giving blowjobs and raising a sarcastic kid.

But what if the client is like, some kind of adult toy company? Or Playgirl magazine? Because I would be perfect for them and really it would be a shame if it was something like that and I didn't submit my blog because I'm a big weinie who's afraid of offending someone. Meh...who am I kidding, it's most likely a right-wing Christian company.

Yeah, I'm totally submitting it.


Kurt said...

If you can't swear, that's the same as not using English at all, and also writing about blowjobs is every bloggers civic duty. That's in the Bill of Rights, I think.

Brandy Rose said...

I've only been following for about a month and I come in today to find a treasure trove of your posts I have not read. The junk and pajamas one had me laughing hysterically!

Gavin said...

Now you have 14 followers so now they might overlook the bad language and blowjobs stuff.

Maybe they're Jesus freaks, so if you combine Jesus, blowjobs and bad language into one blog they'll probably pay you!

Trust me.

Miss Yvonne said...

Gavin, you are the man.

I figure I only need about 55 more followers and I'm golden.

Betsey Booms said...

Here is my rule for living:

If I can't say bitches, mother fucker or suck this...

Well, I just don't want to be there.

Traceytreasure said...

Oh my gosh! You totally crack me up! I had google ads on my blog and I think I earned a whole 8 cents but they won't pay me until I reached $100.00 so I deleted most of them. I know some women who make $18.00 a month from blogher. That's the way to go. When I went to sign up there was a waiting list and you know how patient I am....I still don't have a Blogher ad.

As far as your content, it's totally worth reading for anyone with a sense of humor. Fuck everyone else, right?


Chris said...

The best way to get paid from blogging is through extortion. Its an all cash business but you need to set up blind drops and offshore accounts. Keep the IRS off your ass.