Question: What Are My Chances Of Getting Paid To Blog?

Answer: Not very good.

I got an email today from a company that I've tried to scam freebies from work with in the past, asking me to submit my blog for a chance to become a featured blogger on their client's website. So ever since I figured out you can get paid for this blogging stuff, I've been dreaming of it happening to me. But here's the problem....I originally found this company through a mommy-type website and I'm pretty sure it's a straight up family-friendly kind of place. You know, the kind of place that doesn't post a lot of words like "fuck" or "asshole" or talk about things like their husband's junk busting out of their pajamas.

So yeah, I'm thinking they won't pick me. I mean, the email didn't actually say there can't be swearing or sex talk. But that's probably implied, right? What it DID say is that I have to be an expert on something and I must have a decent following. I don't know...is 13 people a decent following? Also, I'm really only an expert at accruing large amounts of debt, giving blowjobs and raising a sarcastic kid.

But what if the client is like, some kind of adult toy company? Or Playgirl magazine? Because I would be perfect for them and really it would be a shame if it was something like that and I didn't submit my blog because I'm a big weinie who's afraid of offending someone. Meh...who am I kidding, it's most likely a right-wing Christian company.

Yeah, I'm totally submitting it.