I've been walking around my office all morning with a tiny piece of toast stuck to my face and no one told me about it until 5 minutes ago. My only real friend here saw me and was all "Dude you have a booger on your cheek." So I brushed it off and saw that it was not a booger...it was toast. Toast that I ate in my car on the drive to work at 6:30am. It is now 10:30am.
I've had toast stuck to my face for 4 hours. And apparently it looked like a booger.
Now everyone thinks I'm that lady who has boogers stuck to her face and no one will tell her because they don't want to embarass her. I feel like screaming from my cubicle "IT WASN'T A BOOGER, JUST SO YOU KNOW! AND BY THE WAY, THANKS FOR NOT TELLING ME, ASSHOLES!"
This day is going to be awesome. I can just feel it.
On Becoming My Grandmother
1 month ago