Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I'm a Fat Chick

I'm just going to put it out there in the blogosphere that I am a fat chick. Up until recently, I was convinced that I was an average (whatever that means) sized chick stuck temporarily in a fat chicks body. Wrong. I've been a big girl since college...more than 12 years have gone by since I've wore anything smaller than a size 18.

I've struggled that whole time with my weight. I realized sometime last year that I most likely will always be a fat chick to some degree. I would love to get down to a size 14, that's all I really want. So in most people's eyes I will still be fat even if I achieve that goal. That's okay with me, I've now accepted that most people will think I have no will power or self-control. The reality is that is pretty much true. I have almost no will power against fried foods and my self-control is usually hanging on by a string most days.

However, I do have another reason that I just discovered last year for my weight problems. I have a non-functioning thyroid. My doctor discovered it last summer after I gained 10 lbs. in two months. I've been on meds since then and have sometimes felt better, sometimes felt worse. I'm learning that thyroid disease is a constant battle to be fought. It also makes me exhausted and completely worn out most days, even when I'm on the meds. So now I can partially blame my thyroid for being a fat chick. Stupid thyroid. You suck.

I would love to find some other thyroid girlies out there to piss and moan with about our disease. Do any of you sometimes feel like your fingers look like sausages and why have I only lost 5 lbs since I started my meds and yet my levels are good? I mean, I don't need to be thin..I just want to feel good again.

1 comment:

Mona Lott said...

*sigh* I've been thinking about getting it checked. My self control isn't even bad (except for when mother nature is kicking me in my girl nards). I like healthy stuff, I don't eat as often as I should- don't drink enough "not coffee". I force myself to be a cyclone and get everything done even though I feel so slow. I've even been getting my (non cardio- baby steps) work out on, and really- NOTHING! Fucking bullshit.

But getting any kind of medical tests or assistance in DE is like begging for a beating. They'll check EVERYTHING BUT what you suggest first, and I'm so not ready for a proctologist:( BAH!

And I feel the same way. I'm not looking to be a stick, just a bit more aerodynamic:p

Holy shit. The word ver. is porsod. Poor. Sod.