Monday, August 9, 2010

I Spent $382 And All I Got Was This College Tuition Bill

Here's a little math problem in honor of my boy going off to college in less than two weeks.

If

105 degree heat + 1 hour in Big Lots + 2.5 hours in Wal-Mart + screaming 3 year old in line behind us at checkout = $382 in college supplies

than

$382 in college supplies = Captain Carl ready to karate chop screaming 3 year old's mother + Miss Yvonne sobbing for 3.5 hours about her baby leaving home

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Me: Hey Kiddo, check it out. *sweeping arm gestures towards 5 ft. high pile of plastic crates filled with notebooks and ramen noodles*
Kiddo: That looks like college stuff.
Me: It is! Your dad and I spent all afternoon getting everything for you.
Kiddo: Cool. Hey, I'm going over to Emo's house, okay?

And then I punched him in his ungrateful face. Teenagers are pretty much awesome.

*sigh*

I'm gonna miss that punk. Damn it.

13 comments:

cfoxes33 said...

Dontcha love the gratefulness pouring out of him?

Moooooog35 said...

If you're not going to do anything with those Ramen noodles, I'll take them.

Also..my word verification is "uncest" - which is what I'm assuming is what it's called when you have sex with your uncle.

Heather said...

I think he was showing gratitude just the right amount. He could have been like "Oh mom and dad you rock your so fucking cool I love you!" and then you wouldn't have believed him.

Also, mooooooog uncest means the opposite of incest which basically means that chick wasn't your cousin last night so you can stop tormenting the hamster.

nova said...

Oh man, he's gonna miss you and your generous ramen-giving face soon enough. Be happy for him, he's about to face some real life lessons and have a great time.

Whiskey Girl said...

You should throw one of your penis straws in there..... see how long it takes him to notice.

Nina Patricia @ The Adventures of Nina Patricia said...

oh yes! a penis straw! Sheer Genious!
My oldest when to his first college appoinment last week (he 's starting in January being he was overseas) and he made fun of me the entire time for beng sentimental. Then I reminded him I still have his baby pictures that I can tape to a boar @ school.

Ed said...

Damn ungrateful kids.

He'll be thanking you for those Ramen noodles when he's hungover or high.

diane said...

He's grateful. He'll probably move back in after his first semester. Sometimes that's what they do. It's a really fun emotional roller coaster when they do that. What? Where'd my drink go? sniff.

Didactic Pirate said...

Don't worry, he'll miss you later. Like the first weekend he has to do his own laundry. Or runs out of money.

Hippo Brigade said...

That was almost too much math for me. I need a nap.

whatsupwiththat said...

I have to leave a comment, the word verify is imwoore. Which is exactly what I am, worried, since I have a HS senior this year and I will be living your pain next year.

Please Miss Yvonne say it gets better, lie to me!

dcr said...

i leave tomorrow to take my daughter to college. i am not yet convinced i will miss her, but everybody says i will.

plo said...

I hear ya! Mine has already flown the coop. THE PAIN!!!