Tuesday, January 11, 2011

French Toast Wishes & Honey Bunches Of Oats Dreams


Today is my birthday. I turned 37 years old. And I am broke. And have a job I don't really like. And there is a man who is currently dating a psychic that is renting one of my bedrooms. Also I'm fat.


Hooray! My life is awesome!


*sings theme from Mary Tyler Moore Show*

*throws hat in the air*

*does armpit fart*


I really am in a good mood today though, despite all that shit I listed up there. You know why? Because it is only 12:30pm and I've already got like 28 happy birthday messages on facebook. Yes! Thank you facebook for validating my birth!


I'm also in a good mood because I planned a surprise birthday party for Captain Carl last Saturday night and I totally pulled it off. And it totally made him all happy faced, so now I can hold that over his head the rest of the year every time he doesn't do what I want.


Captain Carl asked me where I wanted him to take me for my birthday dinner tonight. I told him I didn't want to go out.


Him: Are you sure? I'll take you wherever you want.

Me: Nah, I'd rather just come home from work and be at home in my pj's.

Him: Okay well, what do you want me to cook for you then?

Me: Hmmmm....

Him: Whatever you want.

Me: I want french toast.

Him: French toast?

Me: Yes.

Him: You want french toast for your birthday dinner?

Me: Yes.

Him: Are you being serious?

Me: Yes. Ohmygod I looooovvvveee french toast. So hard.

Him: Okay, french toast it is.

Me: And bacon!

Him: Okay, so breakfast for dinner.


Ohmygod, I love breakfast for dinner, y'all. The only thing I eat when Captain Carl is out of town for work is cereal and peanut butter toast. Case in point, this conversation literally just took place over the phone.


Him: Hey birthday girl.

Me: Hi! It is sooo totally my birthday today.

Him: So I'm on my way to the store to get the stuff for your french toast. Do you need me to pick up anything for the rest of the week since I will be out of town?

Me: Oh yeah, hmmm let me think...

Him: What do you want to cook while I'm gone?

Me: Just get me some cereal and milk.

Him: *brief silence* What?

Me: That's all I eat when you are gone.

Him: Are you a college student or something?

Me: I can't cook, I love breakfast for dinner. Done deal.

Him: Okay, what kind of cereal?

Me: Honey Bunches of Oats.

Him: At least you didn't say Fruit Loops or Cookie Crisp.

Me: Oooh, Cookie Crisp!

Him: You are a college student.

Me: Your mom's a college student. So the girls at work took me out for a birthday lunch.

Him: That's nice.

Me: Yeah. I was a little worried that you were going to show up while I was gone to surprise me for lunch.

Him: I thought about it but wasn't sure what your plans were.

Me: And then I thought you'd probably just send me surprise flowers instead. Right??

Him: I was going to, but then I didn't because I knew you'd understand.

Me: Understand what?

Him: That I'm not gonna.


I'm trying really hard to be mad at him, but I keep thinking about that french toast he's making later and I just can't do it.


My birthday portrait. Only my bangs and glasses wanted to be in it.

41 comments:

Karen said...

Happy birthday! It is my birthday also ... I think we are having lean cuisine and corn nuts for dinner since I live in Atlanta and no one leaves the house when there is ice on the ground. Enjoy your French Toast :)

Megan said...

Happy Birthday!

Lickety Splitter said...

Happy Birthday! Squeeze the ever living daylights out of it! Oh, and enjoy your french toast later.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Big, giant happy birthday, birthday girl! Woo! Plus French Toast is totally ok as a birthday dinner. I once asked for grilled cheese for mine. The simple ones are the best, dude. Meals I mean, not men. Although simple men have some merits I suppose. Easier to tell what to do and they believe you when you say things like, "You did say I could have a new car!" and "Of course you're smart!" :)

Happy French toast!

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

Oooh, happy happy birthday - bangs, glasses, French toast and all! :)

Kristin said...

happy birthday! i love breakfast for dinner and could seriously eat ceral for every meal. i have a secret obsession with cinnamon toast crunch...

Surfie said...

Happy birthday! I love french toast too. Back when I used to have a job, we'd go out for lunch at this pancake house and I'd get french toast and bacon every time. YUM.

Vinny C said...

Happy birthday! I'd totally do breakfast for dinner too. Enjoy.

Gail said...

Happy Birthday!!!!

May you have many more breakfasts for dinner - they are my best too!

♫ Songbird ♫ said...

Happy Birthday, yo!! Your bangs and upper face are HOTT. With two T's, because one of anything is never enough. Including bowls of cereal. lol

Venom said...

Eating cereal for lunch @ this very moment...

Because it's such a special occasion, I've added Yo Mama to the scrolling blogroll over @ Venom, Secrets, & Lies. Yeah! Happy birthday to you Yo!

Okay, really I've added you, but it's only because you are just sheer fantabulousness.

Forever Plus Infinity said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! enjoy your day. my excuse for eating cereal all the time, is that i am getting my daily milk servings...

Megs said...

Happy Birthday! Also, college students don't eat anything as sophisticated as Cookie Crisp for cereal. Or at least, when I was in college, if we ate Cookie Crisp it probably came in a 13 gallon bag and was called Kookie Krisp.

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

Happy, Happy Birthday! I love breakfast for dinner. (Come to think of it, hubby and I have been eating ramen for lunch fairly often lately, too... and we're way beyond being college students.)

Brandy Rose said...

Happy Bday To You!!!!!

Mrs Jones said...

Happy birthday, you whippersnapper you!

Cassie said...

Happy Birthday! when Jason is gone I pretty much only eat cereal too. I try to eat the grown up kind but sometimes I just can't resist chocolate lucky charms.

Didactic Pirate said...

Happy Birthday to the Prettiest Girl in Puppetland!

MiStY said...

Ooohh, now I can't stop thinking about B for D...mmm, bacon. Happy birthday and thanks for being you - you totally make me laugh with your awesomeness ;)

uncouthheathen said...

Happy Birthday! You have pretty hair.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Dang, girl. Your highlights kick the shit out of my highlights. *puts on baseball cap of shame*

Happy Birthday, Miss Yvonne!

Vic said...

I already said Happy Birthday on Facebook, so that's your limit, got it?

Just kidding. Happy Birthday!!! (and I was going to write about how awesome your hair is too, but some more punctual people beat me.)

I wish for you the best year yet. French toast is the perfect way to kick it off. :)

A Kitchen Witch said...

Happy Day of your Birth! (Eh, likey the twist? Meh. Me Either) So enjoy your breakfast for dinner. The other night I watched Patron Saint Paula Deen and she made breakfast in a cup...I've been craving that crazy concoction ever since.

Margaret said...

Happy Birthday Miss Yvonne!!! Your birthday dinner sounds delish! He should totally have sent you flowers though. You make me laugh and I'm tickled to find you!

Logical Libby said...

There must be something about 37. I'm all grumpy about it too.

Happy Birthday! Enjoy your cereal.

Ed said...

Happy Birthday!!!

Diamonds & flowers are over-rated.

French toast says "I love you forever, fatty!", or something.

qandlequeen said...

Happy Birthday!!!!!

French toast is awesome and it's easier to make for dinner than breakfast, what with waking up and all that.

Daffy said...

Happy Born Naked Day!

And breakfast for dinner is THE way to go and it total YAHTZEE when someone else is making it!

WIN WIN

The Mad Fat Girl said...

Happy Birthday! Your having the bestest birthday dinner! enjoy!

Heather said...

Happy Birthday! I missed you while I was on blogville vacation. I missed all of the blogs I read, but mostly you because you remind me of me and what's better than basically fawning over yourself? Not much is the right answer. Did I say happy birthday yet? I wasn't sure because I was busy watching you thru these bushes...

Cookie Monster in Therapy said...

Yay, happy birthday to you! Go hard on the toast. Mmmm, french cuisine you lucky dawg you.

Chl said...

Happy Bday!

I'm right there with ya on the French Toast thing. I've got 2 French Toast meals scheduled for this week. :) It must be in the air...

Cat said...

Hope you had a happy birthday. and stop eating my bacon.

Emily Silver said...

Happy birthday! Don't worry about all the things in the first paragraph because you, my dear, are fabulous.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Happy Birthday!!!!! I think you picked a perfect dinner choice.
xo jj

Nina Patricia @ The Adventures of Nina Patricia said...

Happy Belated birthday to one hot chick that's still rocking it!
And I would so milk him forevaaaaar.

Pearl said...

Happy Birthday! Mine is tomorrow, but I'm no longer talking to my bangs, so don't expect any pictures.

Pearl

Tony Spunk said...

You're at your sexy prime, sweet cheeks. Hubba! The Captain's a lucky dude having a lady at her sexual peak doing unmentionable things to his person. Oh yeah. There goes my captain if you get my meaning. I know you do, you hot beast. No offense to your captain and all, I'm merely appreciating his fine taste in a totally non creepy way, dig?

Oh yeah. Happy birthday!

Kristine said...

How did I miss your birthday?

Eh, because I'm an ass. THAT'S why! (Sorry. Happy belated!)

Also, if I could eat cereal three meals a day, I would. Captain Crunch, even. Kids & a husband kinda fucked that shit up.

Kurt said...

Your birthday portrait is like your mom's vagina. It only wants bangs and glasses in it.

Also, Happy (Belated)Birthday.

Sunny said...

Happy belated birthday. I turned 37 too, just a few days after you (oooh, that rhymed). But I'm *kinda* pissed that you can do armpit farts and I cant. I never could quite get it. I feel like I've failed myself a little. Someday *sigh* some..day..