I'm Talking Sexy Talk In Here. I'm Also Talking Giveaway. And Laser Cats! Pew Pew! Also, One Of These Things Is Not True.

First of all, if you were hoping that I would be talking about laser cats in this post, you are about to be sorely disappointed, my sad sad friend.

Okay, so Valentine's Day is coming up soon. Women everywhere are fantasizing about what amazing presents they will get from their significant other. And men are...well, they aren't thinking about it at all and let's face it, they won't until maybe February 13 if you're lucky.

Because I'm a woman (hells yeah I am! *sensual self boob honk*), my thoughts have already gone to the place where even the most strong of men fear to tread. That's right, romance town. Oh, how I love romance town. It's that magical place where ladies come home from work to find a trail of rose petals to the bedroom, where their men are waiting with a bubble bath, candles, champagne and a ready-for-cunnilingus face and maybe there are some flowers there and rainbows with unicorns frolicking under them. Also, all the men are George Clooney.

But ladies, let's get real here. How can we expect our men to go all out in the romance department when a) they aren't built to remember to do shit like that and b) we don't usually reciprocate. And by "reciprocate", I mean "give up that kinky, hot, stinky sex they really really like but you only want to do every so often because that position makes your stomach all squishy and sometimes makes you fart for some reason, which is weird because who knew The Reverse Mambo would have that effect? "

And this is where my good friends at EdenFantasys come in. Pay attention. Go to this website. Go there now. Buy something sexy to wear, or something kinky to watch, or something penis-shaped to put in your box. Ha, that kind of rhymed. Watch and box. I'm awesome.

Seriously though, every relationship (especially long-term ones) can use a little spicing up. Don't feel comfortable with a dildo? Then maybe try a sexy outfit instead. Or order an erotic book and read to each other. And if you're single? Oh damn girl, please do yourself a favor and order a vibrator and then use it on Valentine's Day while watching George Clooney in that movie with the two chicks and he's on an airplane a lot and I think maybe he sleeps with one of the chicks or something? and then you can be all "I don't need no stinking man except to maybe open a pickle jar once in awhile and even then not really because I hate pickles!".

It'll be awesome, is what I'm saying.

Here's the other cool thing about EdenFantasys. They have this online community with reviews, forums and my favorite, Sexis, where you can find great articles about all kinds of sexy sex stuff and funny sex stuff and you get the idea. Plus The Bloggess writes there, so you know it has to be kick ass.

Just go over there and check it out, okay? Because something awesome is happening right here and you need to be familiar with their products...just in case you win.

That's right, I'm having a SEX TOY GIVEAWAY. Just like I promised. EdenFantasys has generously offered a $50 gift certificate to be used at their website for one winner here at Yo-Mama's Blog. Okay, so it isn't specifically a sex toy giveaway...I'm just assuming that is what you will pick to order with your gift certificate because that is exactly what I would do. And the giveaway isn't just for my sexy lady readers. I'm an equal opportunity sex toy giveaway-er, so you dudes hanging around here for the sensual boob honks should enter too.

Anyway, here's what you have to do to be eligible to win:

1. Leave a comment here with the item you would buy at EdenFantasys if you win.
   
2. Become a follower of Yo-Mama's Blog, if you aren't already.

To get a bonus entry, you can do one or both of the following:

1. Mention my giveaway in a post on your own blog with a link to this post.
2. Tweet about my giveaway with a link to this post.
   

Please let me know in the comments or via email if you have done one or both of the above for extra entries.

That's it. One winner will be chosen at random on Friday, February 4, to win the $50 EdenFantasys gift certificate.

Good luck, bitches!