There is a lady in my office that has appointed herself in charge of our break room. Her official title is the extra special executive assistant to the regional vice president of cow tipping, or something like that. But her secret title is "Cup Nazi". Apparently my office is going through styrofoam cups at an alarming rate. Because one day a few weeks ago I walked into the break room to find a padlock on the cabinet where the cups are kept.
A PADLOCK.
To guard the cups.
That is the actual cabinet...I'm not even kidding.
So the Cup Nazi comes to the break room every morning and puts out our allotted number of cups for the day. She also makes two pots of coffee of the flavors she has deemed "Coffees of the Month". She even bought a dry-erase board that she mounted to the cabinet and writes on it every day "Coffee made fresh at 7:35am". Then she went out and bought all these fancy glass jars to put the sweet'n'low, sugar, creamers, etc. in. And she now has a little rolling cart she uses to bring all the super important coffee supplies to the break room in. So I guess what she is saving the company in cups, she is spending on that crap. Makes sense to me.
Oh, and she changed the brand of hot chocolate we have too. And the new brand sucks monkey balls. And one day there wasn't any at all. So because I am a passive aggressive smart ass, I wrote a little note on her stupid dry-erase board that said "Hey we need more hot chocolate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". I swear I used that many exclamation points. And then I skipped back to my cubicle to wait. Low and behold, the next morning there were 5 (Five!) hot chocolate packets and my note had been scrubbed from the board. So I went ahead and wrote another note that said "I'm sorry your job sucks so hard that you have resorted to ruling over the break room with an iron fist, but please change the brand of hot chocolate back to Nestle' as this brand is awful and also I like products that end with an e'....." Strangely enough, that note also got scrubbed from the board, but still no Nestle'.
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5 comments:
Wow! Just wow!!
That's all just wow!!
And, Hugs!! (the Nestle kind) hehehe!!!
Aren't you in Tejas? Do the words,
"She needed shootin'" hold any meaning for you?
We used to have the Supply Nazi. When she'd come down the hall I would pretend to ride a bike and sing "dun, da, da, na, na. dun, da, da, na, na"...you know the song that plays when Ms Gulch is riding her bike in Kansas on the Wizard of Oz?
Anyway, she had bright pink signs with black bolded letters demanding to be told when we took the last of something from the supply closet. Someone actually graffitied the correct spelling of the word be-otch on her sign. After 6 years I actually began to like her and I would start totally inappropriate sex conversations at her desk just to embarass her 60 year old self.
Keep the posts coming..you crack me up.
I think that your note was super helpful. I can't believe that broad didn't like your idea. lame-o
I just spit soda on my keyboard, so thanks for that! I thought I was in bizarro-world with the weird office drama we have. I'm glad to see the office crazies are evenly dispersed so we all have someone to make fun of at happy hours!
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