Friday, February 12, 2010

A Lesson In Romance From My Punk Ass Kid

We're in the middle of a snowstorm here in Dallas. So far we've gotten six inches, just like your mom did last night. Tomorrow's school day is delayed two hours so far and the Kiddo is hoping it will be completely canceled. The snow has turned back time and my almost 18-year old is suddenly 10 years old again. The kid that we barely see when he's home because he's locked up in his room texting and playing his guitar and probably smoking pot has spent the last 3 hours running in and out of the house and making snow angels and yelling at me to "come out here and see what I made!".

Here's what he made.


It's a heart in the snow. For his girlfriend for Valentine's Day.

Dudes, how adorable is that? So adorable that you are totally rethinking those flowers for your wife, right?

So I offered to put my mad photoshopping skills to work and make a photo card for him to give to his girl. He wasn't too excited about it at first on account of how I'd probably make it all "gay". But I convinced him to let me try.

This was my first version:


His response: Too predictable.

Okay, I tried again:



His response: Too old fashioned. Also too gay.

I decided to try something a little different for my third attempt:



His response: Huh?

Obviously the boy knows nothing about good music.

I was at a complete loss at this point. So I sat staring blankly at my computer screen for about 10 minutes while the Kiddo went back to rolling around in the front yard like a crazy stray dog.

Then genius struck:



His response: Sweet.

I'm totally going to work for Hallmark.

30 comments:

J.C. said...

owned.

Mama Wheaton said...

That is the perfect card for this generation, make sure you copy right it.

Jayme said...

LMAO awesome.

Stephanie Meade Gresham said...

My mom didn't get six inches last night. She lives in.... ohhhhh.

Dirty.

Jules said...

Shit. I bought Hubby a shirt and made him a video (akin to Erin's), but I've got snow.... I'm going outside.

You. Are. A. Freaking. Genius.

Evil.

But Genius.

Claire said...

i love it.

diane said...

You moron, that's genius. I so totally love you......enough to scale that brick wall in your back yard, cause I couldn't see that from your front yard with my binoculars, so thanks for the pic.

Logical Libby said...

Why do kids today hate vowels so much? Whippersnappers.

miss. chief said...

Cuuuuuute!

Ed Adams said...

Your kid is like the Picasso of snow art.

I considered asking for a copy of that card to give to someone special.

Your Mom.

Then I figured I would just give her the same hot sticky load I gave her last year.

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

You've got to speak their language. Srsly. I bet no other words would touch her heart like these will. :)

Heather said...

We didn't get six inches... We only got 3 1/2. so much for natural enhancement creams.

Moooooog35 said...

So..he did this at YOUR house?

Was there no snow at her house...or is he just too lazy to walk his ass over there?

So. Confused.

I mean, um. Hey! Nice snow heart thingy!

Tony said...

You forgot to put "BBQ" at the end. For some reason, teenagers love putting "BBQ" after everything. But you are a sweet mother...helping your son get lai...loving.

Lindsey said...

I hate snow.

kate said...

My father-in-law recently learned how to text...he thinks that "text speak" just means never EVER typing a vowel. H wld frkng lv tht crd.

It's not just Kiddo - pretty sure the last time it snowed, I got about five invitations to go sledding with my friends (most of whom are coming up on 30-years-old).

Megs said...

OMG! ROFLMFAO! Ttly.

Or you could have used music that appeals to his generation and said something like "Have a baby, by me, Baby, be a millionaire."

Alison said...

OMG
hope I'm as awesome a mom as you are when my 7 yr old son and stepson are teens.
SRSLY

Amanda said...

Ah. Young love. Young, hard to decipher, love.

Houston said...

You are pure, concentrated awesome.

BTW, with the total being 11 "Official" inches, I was totally confused because I had to figure that total 2 inches at a time.

Just like your Dad dos to your Mom!

BOOYAH! Oh yeah, up high!

otherworldlyone said...

Genius.

BugginWord said...

I WANT YOU TOOOO!!

Wait, that was a lyrics quote. I'm not going all stalker like the worst tattoo reader. Well maybe a little, but that's not what I meant with the previous statement. Oh hell. I'm going back to bed.

SMJ said...

Loves it. (Also, my mom lived in Alaska for 10 years, I'm pretty sure she requires at least 7 inches.)

I can't believe I just said that. I have to go pour Listerine on my keyboard now.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Genius! All I could think was "I have a heart on for you!"

LOL!!

I probably will NOT be working for Hallmark!

Jugs@@

corticoWhat said...

Make sure you put "Made by Kiddo's Mom" on the back. You don't actually want him getting laid, just teased.

Little Girl Big Glasses said...

I wish I was 17.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Your kid is such a romantic. I would have hand jayed the hell out of him if he'd been 17 in 1992.

HappyHourSue said...

That is so totally John Cusak-Say Anything.

OG said...

So I just came across your blog and the first 2 sentences of this post made me laugh and stick around to read the rest. So funny...I'm adding you do the reader...have a good trip to AZ.

Mae said...

I. Can't. Get. Enough. How have I not known for so long. This is seriously hilarious!