Then it got quiet. Really really quiet. 15 minutes later, he ran back in and was all "Come meet Steve" and I was all "Ummm, what?" and he was all "Steve the Snowman."
I opened the front door and there stood the scariest fucking snowman I've ever seen.
Behold, Steve.
Now, Steve probably seemed a little scarier than he really was because it was dark outside and the Kiddo positioned him so that he looked like a creepy intruder about to invade either my home or my vagina.
The Kiddo: Creepy, huh?
Me: Totally.
The Kiddo: He's gonna scare the shit out of Renty in the morning.
Me: Omygod yes! Great idea! High five!
I'm a great parent, aren't I?
What?? You're supposed to encourage your children's creativity. That's what I was doing. Encouraging.
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34 comments:
Ftom a distance he wasn't that scary but when you got closer - yep that was scary! Cross your legs.
I can't turn away.
It's like it's peering into my very soul.
You know..if I had one.
Great. When's the feature film coming...you shopping this one around yet?
And you've gotta love the name Steve. It's so ... snowmanly.
With a bleeding mouth and a poop-smeared waist, he came to eat your souls. (Stevey the Snowman)
Those weird tombstone shaped things behind him really add to the creepyness. Wait.....wasn't he in a different spot? Lock your doors.
Is he supposed to be bleeding?
aaaah! so creepy!!! I like him though.
Wait, is that a tear-drop tattoo under his eye? Better watch your vajayjay AND your back, Ms. Yvonne!
Can't wait to hear about Renty's reaction. :)
Yeah - as the pictures get closer the creepiness increases. And the tombstone looking things in the background make it look like he's a gravedigger snowman... Creep-tastic.
I think it's super creepy the way Steve was able to turn the sky yellow.
I think Steve just winked at me. Creeper. That's your mom's job.
Really, that is super creepy.
Holy crap. You weren't even kidding. If I saw that at the end of an alley I'd take a fast detour. After I'd squirted all over my pants and whimpered for a while. What he really needs is a big old Grim Reaper scythe...
Reminds me a bit of Heath Ledger as The Joker. Thin veneer of fun/cute (clowns and happy snowmen) meets oncoming Mack truck of violent psychosis.
Aaaaahhh!!! Stalky the Snowman!
PS - You're pretty much the best mom ever.
I like how you put it out there, that he may have threatened to invade hot box.
::shivers:: (literally)
How does he go from making lovely, sweet, gigant-o-snow hearts in the snow to building terrifying, soul-sucking snow men??
Don't turn your back on it. Just a warning.
Can I borrow him after?
I need Steve to scare the condo board of directors.
Screw souls, I think he's peering into my vagina.
OK, that's terrifying. And almost makes me miss snow. ALMOST.
Steve totally has guts hanging out of his left arm. Is that why he has a stick for an arm? The real deal got ripped off during the last break-in? I say grab the hair dryer and an extension cord now while you've still got time.
Ew. I hope he's not related to Jack Frost.
The best part is that it looks like he used the snow that the dog had already shit in.
Now, the only thing missing is to give that snowman some snowballs.
maybe the funniest build up in a blog post i've ever experienced.
oh mama...
I am afraid to go to sleep. I'm pretty sure Steve is going to eat my soul while I dream.
Or I'll wake up in the middle of the night and a flash of lightning will reveal Steve standing silently at the end of my bed. Just...watching.
*shudder*
Great. Now I can add "Snowman rapist" to the list of things I'm afraid of.
I think he's handsome, in a serial-killer kind of way.
Edward scissorhand branches!
I think we're all missing the point here. Steve is obviously an user, look at those cess-pool like scars! The real issue is heroine addicts are slowly moving into your neighborhood. Be on guard. Or you know, hope that it rains soon.
--T
Sometimes you almost make me wish I had kids. Almost.
Are those gaping holes for eyes and mouth?
I guarantee you there's a pervert just looking for an opportunity like that snowman.
Is Steve, ya know, single??
Yes, that definitely is a gangly-fuck snowman. Andy the Jack Russell would growl and bark at it for hours. P.S. my word verification is beers...no joke. Even it knows it's Friday.
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