- You walk out of your bedroom in the morning and your cat pukes at your feet. Multiple times.
- It's been raining for five days straight and your hair makes you look like you're an orphan living a hard-knock life. every. single. day.
- You find a pair of adorable red sandals you forgot you had and you just happen to be wearing a white and red outfit and just painted your toenails red, but don't remember why you never wear the sandals. Until you get to work and develop three blisters on the walk from the elevator to your desk.
- You check your kid's grades and find out he has seven zeroes. And it's only been three weeks.
- You are late to work on purpose because you know 6:30am is the only time you have available to write a blog entry. And it ends up being a crappy one about all the things you'd like to bitch about to your husband, who is still sleeping.
- You cram two mini bagels into the toaster at one time because you don't have time to toast them separately, thanks to writing the crappy blog entry, and they get stuck and burn. You eat them anyway.
A Lifetime Sentence
1 month ago