Wednesday, March 31, 2010

A Child Is In Charge Of My Pay Check

So my new boss is 29 years old. He's seven years younger than me. And he's my boss.

When I was 13 and going through puberty, my boss was in kindergarten.

When I was 18 and going off to college, my boss had no pubes and was in middle school.

When I turned 21 and got smashed drinking slippery nipples and something something apple bomb something's, he turned 14 and was probably popping his pimples and trying to hide his spontaneous erections in math class.

And now I'm 36 and he's 29 and totally the boss of me.

*sigh*

How did I get here, people? I have a degree! I was going places once! I had ambition! Goals! Purpose! Perky tits!

Blah.

My only consolation? He's prematurely balding. It's not much, but I'll take what I can get.

Stupid baldy baby boss man.

27 comments:

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Both of my managers are younger than me.....

I don't have a degree.

I'm sorry! I'm glad baby boss is balding.

Jugs@@

Sarah said...

Ppssshhhhht ... ambition is for dickheads like Smartypants McEarlybalder. He got so far ahead because he doesn't get oral sex. It opens up a lot of time for workplace ambition.

Tony said...

It makes me sad, because I'm sure people at my work think the same about me...dang it.

Harna said...

I have a degree and yeah, my boss is older than me, but I clean up shit and make sure dogs don't hump all day for a living. Yay!

The Jules said...

Has he got perky tits?

Little Ms Blogger said...

Hey, who cares if he's younger. As long as he can sign his name (if the check needs to be signed) and knows who your are to give it to you.

Jules said...

Keep saying to yourself, "Balding."

Moooooog35 said...

Helpful tip:

Oil of Olay.

It can help you look younger, too.

You're welcome.

Megs said...

I spent a bajillion years getting a master's degree in science in order to work as a glorified secretary for a variety of people with no degree at all. And with the rate of pay, I should have my loans paid off about 3 years after I die.

Who's the smart one now, huh?

Oh. Wait. Definitely not me.

Logical Libby said...

I bet you're more fun than he is.

erin said...

I'm going to be 29 in 15 days. Does that mean I'm going to start balding?

Oh and I'm echoing the 'Megs' statement...but I spent tons of my parents' and a college's money to get a degree so I could stay at home with four kids and write a blog.

So it could be worse. haha.

Mama Wheaton said...

Lately all my professors or instructors at college have been younger than me. I feel your pain.

BeckEye said...

Yeah, whatever happened to college degrees being our gateway to a fabulous working world? I let a little cynicism slip out in front of my niece the other day when she was telling me about a friend of hers who hasn't decided what she wants to major in yet. They're in 11th grade. I was like, "Well, it never works out the way you want it to anyway, so who cares. Er, um, I mean, stay in school! Drink your milk!"

Ed said...

I have had bosses that were younger than me. It can be painfully challenging to take orders from someone so junior in age.
Especially if that order is, "You're going to work over tonight, polishing my midget."

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I'm making you a t-shirt that says "Poo to you, stupid baldy baby boss man!" and you will wear it to work to show your displeasure, how's that? And of course, you will film his reaction for us all to enjoy. Plus being the boss in your 20s is lame because quite obviously he should be out shagging everything that moves, smoking everything else and making lots of fun mistakes. And he isn't.

kate said...

The main job requirement for my current postion was a high school degree and/or GED. I have two college degrees. Damnit. At least I don't have to think too hard while in the office...?

Megan said...

So I am 29 and I've been the boss of people older than me for the past 4 years...but I'm a cool boss so I don't think they mind...or if they do, they don't let on. Sometimes it's just about being smart and being in the right place at the right time. I've worked here for 9 years - this was my first job out of college and we've grown significantly...so yeah. I hope at least your boss is nice...

Lickety Splitter said...

I wouldn't care how much younger a boss was, because mine is 15 years older than me, and too many times a day, said elder acts like a child, a spoiled child.

Megs said...

When or if I ever have a kid, I have two words of educational wisdom for them:

Technical. School.

I thought it was lame when I was 18. Now all my friends who went to technical school make 3 times what I make and are never unemployed.

The mad woman behind the blog said...

Well hopefully he won't develop the annoying habits I've only noticed in older men: the adjusting of their junk and stratching their butt. Mine does it everyday as his good morning to me. Joy!

Mandy's Kidding said...

That would seriously peeve me too. I need to go back to teaching so I can avoid this fate...

corticoWhat said...

He fantasizes about you and the copier.......

Y'all can fill in the blanks.

Chris said...

If this makes you feel better, it gets worse. I am almost twenty years older than my current boss. On the other hand, I don't care.

Just.Kate said...

Baldy Baby Bossman. Hehehehehe.

Tony Spunk said...

That young dude doesn't know he's born. Oral sex is a distant fantasy. Aural sex however, I'll bet he's tried. In that he's listened to it through his mama's bedroom door.

Whiskey Girl said...

I'm only a few years older than my co-workers son..... And I have perky tits!!!!

And I agree with Libby - I'm sure you are way more fun than he is.

Nej said...

I managed a grocery store when I was in high school. All the employees were either 1) also in high school 2) nearing retirement.

It got uncomfortable at times.

Ever since (I'm 34 now), I've worked at places where I'm the youngest...or close to it. They just hired a 26 year old this year....ugh! Maybe I should dust the resume off again? (hehehehe)