Day 3 at my new job. I only accidentally walked into the conference room instead of the copy room twice today. Yesterday was five times. Hurrah for improvement!
I've already decided who I am going to hate the most there. She's in charge of office supplies and wears capris with tennis shoes and has a Martina Navratilova haircut and thinks she's the boss of everyone. But not me. No sir.
I am an independent thinker.
I am setting my own pace.
I am totally going to piss her off on purpose.
My new company is so small, they don't have a receptionist. They have a receptionist's desk but no receptionist. They also have nowhere for me to sit until the office remodel is complete in two weeks. Guess who's sitting at the receptionist desk?
Lucky for them, I have a natural sweet and helpful manner that lends itself well to a reception area. Shut up, I totally do.
Also, there is a camera in the ceiling of the reception area that points directly at the back of my head and my computer monitor. And not only does my manager have a giant flat screen mounted in his office where he can watch my every move, but there is also one mounted in the general cubicle area for the entire office to view. Presumably so they can see when a customer walks in. But customers hardly ever come in, so mostly what they do is watch me type emails and file things and eat my sad little lunch at my desk while I read my sad little book. It's like being on a reality tv show, except with less fist fights and lesbians making out. My goal is to figure out new sneaky ways to flip everyone off. Today I used the old "head scratch with middle finger raised" technique. Classic.
A Lifetime Sentence
1 month ago