My son spends the majority of his free time texting his girlfriend, Bunny. I know this because I pay the bill and am astounded every month at how much time he seems to have for this endeavor. Last night we were eating dinner when apparently a super important text came in from Bunny that he had to answer immediately.
Me: When I was in high school, passing notes was our texting.
Kiddo: *type type type*
Captain Carl: Yep, no cell phones.
Kiddo: I know. Because you were teenagers way back in the 80's.
Me: I was also a teenager in the 90's. Unlike your father.
Captain Carl: Yeah, the early 90's.
Me: Still. You're old, dude.
Captain Carl: You graduated in 1992.
Me: Exactly. Rock on. *righteous head bob*
Captain Carl: Don't ask.
Me: My boyfriend and I passed notes every day.
Kiddo: In class?
Me: Sometimes, although mostly we'd just pass them to each other in the hallway between classes.
Captain Carl: Me too. Except I never wrote notes, just got them from all the babes.
Me: Yeah, all those hot 80's babes that are now almost 40.
Captain Carl: In my mind, they're still 17. *closes eyes* Ohhhh yeah. *bites lip*
Me: You want to see what your dad's teenage years were like? Watch a Whitesnake video.
Captain Carl: You want to see what your stepmom's teenage years were like? Watch a Debbie Gibson video.
Me: Except with more sex and drinking on country roads.
Captain Carl: So yeah...passing notes.
Kiddo: It must have taken forever for you to tell each other anything that way.
Captain Carl: Oh yeah, it was practically the dark ages.
Me: But it was romantic. Not all mechanical and short like texting is now.
Kiddo: I'm romantic in texts. Here, I'll do it right now...
"Ur hot, I like ur butt w/ all my heart"
Me: That's your idea of romantic?
Kiddo: Meh, it works.
Captain Carl: He's got a point.
Kiddo: See? *shows his return text from Bunny*
Me: Whatever. Can you believe I kept all the notes my boyfriend passed me? They are so cute and sweet.
Kiddo: Let's read them!
Me: Maybe some day.
Captain Carl: Let's do it now!
Kiddo: Hells yeah!
Me: Well, okay...
And, of course, this was the first note I opened...
My very own early 90's version of sexting. So romantic.
A Lifetime Sentence
1 month ago