Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Lost Art Of Passing Notes

My son spends the majority of his free time texting his girlfriend, Bunny. I know this because I pay the bill and am astounded every month at how much time he seems to have for this endeavor. Last night we were eating dinner when apparently a super important text came in from Bunny that he had to answer immediately.

Me: When I was in high school, passing notes was our texting.
Kiddo: *type type type*
Captain Carl: Yep, no cell phones.
Kiddo: I know. Because you were teenagers way back in the 80's.
Me: I was also a teenager in the 90's. Unlike your father.
Captain Carl: Yeah, the early 90's.
Me: Still. You're old, dude.
Captain Carl: You graduated in 1992.
Me: Exactly. Rock on. *righteous head bob*
Kiddo: What?
Captain Carl: Don't ask.
Me: My boyfriend and I passed notes every day.
Kiddo: In class?
Me: Sometimes, although mostly we'd just pass them to each other in the hallway between classes.
Captain Carl: Me too. Except I never wrote notes, just got them from all the babes.
Me: Yeah, all those hot 80's babes that are now almost 40.
Captain Carl: In my mind, they're still 17. *closes eyes* Ohhhh yeah. *bites lip*
Kiddo: Gross.
Me: You want to see what your dad's teenage years were like? Watch a Whitesnake video.
Captain Carl: You want to see what your stepmom's teenage years were like? Watch a Debbie Gibson video.
Me: Except with more sex and drinking on country roads.
Captain Carl: So yeah...passing notes.
Kiddo: It must have taken forever for you to tell each other anything that way.
Captain Carl: Oh yeah, it was practically the dark ages.
Me: But it was romantic. Not all mechanical and short like texting is now.
Kiddo: I'm romantic in texts. Here, I'll do it right now...

"Ur hot, I like ur butt w/ all my heart"

Me: That's your idea of romantic?
Kiddo: Meh, it works.
Captain Carl: He's got a point.
Kiddo: See? *shows his return text from Bunny*


Me: Whatever. Can you believe I kept all the notes my boyfriend passed me? They are so cute and sweet.
Kiddo: Let's read them!
Me: Maybe some day.
Captain Carl: Let's do it now!
Me: Really?
Kiddo: Hells yeah!
Me: Well, okay...

And, of course, this was the first note I opened...

My very own early 90's version of sexting. So romantic.


Ed said...

I graduated in 1993.

That note totally counted as foreplay back then.

erin said...


I have three boxes of 'notes' from friends and boyfriends up in a cubby, pushed way to the back. I was going to share some once (like Steamy's diaries) but chickened out.

This was classic.

(I graduated in 1992 too, THE SIXTH GRADE! oh ahhahahaha I crack myself up)

Kurt said...

"Let's Bang" is how I sign my Christmas cards.

And I'm pretty sure it's the only complete sentence your mom knows.

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

I was just lamenting the other day that my kids will never know the excitement of having a note slipped into their hands. *sigh*

Your note deserves to be laminated. Because that's awesome.

Sarah P said...

So ... did ya bang him or what?

cfoxes33 said...

FYI - Here in OH.IO, my 9th grader still passes notes once in a while. So we must still be behind the times. Oh, they txt too, who doesn't? But, sometimes notes are more daring, 'eh?

Megs said...

That was 3 ways to say "I want to have sex" in one very short note.
That's talent, is what that is.

I certainly hope he got some, just as a reward for that note.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

It's the "for once" where he really gets you.

Yeah! For once! Jeesh! We never bang all night! *tantrum* Prude.

Anonymous said...

Fuck. You're younger than me by a year. I hate you.

And no. You can't come to my party. You're too young.

Cassie said...

How romantic! I still have one from middle school that says, "Let's meet up after school. I'll give you a lesson in French, if you know what I mean." LOL

MommyLovesStilettos said...


Lickety Splitter said...

Ahhh ... the young at heart can't wait for your turn to come. I didn't graduate at all, I skipped that shit and went straight to college. I didn't have time to pass notes in school, cuz I was busy kicking ass and taking As, the boys came later (wink).

Miss Yvonne said...

Ed: That was pretty much the extend of his foreplay.

erin: Oh, hahaaa! I get it! You're younger than me! Haahahahaaaa shut the hell up.

Kurt: Classy as always, my man.

Rita: I will totally laminate the note and hang it up in my kitchen in remembrance of a simpler time.

Sarah P: I did, in fact, bang him. But not all night long because I had an algrebra test the next morning.

cfoxes33: Notes are way more daring. Only the bravest of teenagers would dare to try and pass one nowadays. Pssh. Rookies.

Megs: Oh yes, he totally had talent. In the pants! Up top!

Steamy: I know, poor guy. I never did it all night with him. Not even once.

Jules: You graduated in 91? Oh blech, I can't be friends with you then. Those 91 girls were so slutty and always stole us 92 girls' boyfriends.

Cassie: Whoa, that guy must have been super smart to come up with that discrete innuendo.

Mommy: Right back at ya.

miss. chief said...

I don't know, guys..."I like ur butt w/ all my heart" really gets me where it counts.

(The butt.)

Soda and Candy said...

Sigh... my heart is all aflutter with the exquisite romance of your high school BF.
; )

kate said...

I would've kept that little gem, too. None of my high school boyfriends EVER wanted to do me all night long :( Jerks.

Beta Dad said...

I graduated (barely) in '85. Sadly, there was no sexting back then. We had to draw pictures of our naked selves and circulate them by hand. Or use words. I intercepted a sexy note from a chick I knew who was dating an Indian guy. She waxed erotic about his "slim, dark dick." That's why I preferred notes with drawings. On the other hand, that phrase has stuck with me for 25 years.

I shudder to think what technology will bring by the time my 10-month old twin girls are teenagers. They will probably be having laser sex with their cyborg lovers at the dinner table. And I will be way too old to kick the cyborgs' asses.

Anonymous said...

I maintain there's nothing more romantic than a note that says "Let's bang!" :) Except maybe "Let's bone!"

It's so romantic I can practically smell the roses.

Little Ms Blogger said...

So that note was J's version of foreplay...nice...

LiLu said...

It could be worse.

It could have said "make love."

Curiosity said...

Just think of all you learned about synonyms. That's some quality education right there.

Anonymous said...

Nice! I busted out laughing when I read your post. I loved it!

Mama Wheaton said...

Why is it when we revisit our past it is never as romantic as we remembered?

Solanaceae said...

Dear Miss Y, Your post made me spit milk out of my nose. It hurt but was totally worth it. However I feel like a senior citizen now because I graduated in 88. Thanks, I think.... :)~

anne said...

okay, i have been lurking for a while, but i just had to comment on this topic...

Note-passing still occurs, but it happens in 2nd grade, where no one has a cell phone yet.

Last month my 8-year-old son came home with 2 notes in his backpack, with VERY descriptive language about what his 8-year-old friend (who is a girl) wanted to do with him. The words naked, boobies, shower and f**k were all used in the note. They're 8, for god's sake!

My son played dumb and said he had no idea how the notes got into his backpack... with the principal's help and through a process of elimination with the classroom teacher, the culprit was identified, and she gave up the goods on my son right away. "Do you want to see the note he sent to me?", she asked when confronted.

luckily his note to her just had language about her being his sexy girlfriend... which is still inappropriate for 2nd graders.

my son got in trouble for lying about the notes; the young lady got in trouble for the language in her missisves to my son, and they are no longer allowed to sit together in the library.

holy crap!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Great note! I wish I'd saved all of mine. You're such a genius!


just making my way said...

Damn! Clearly I was passing notes to the wrong people. I was never propositioned like that. *scuffs shoe*

Toe said...

Aaah, irony, she is a bitch.

Tgoette said...

Or if you really wanted to be romantic you could say "let's bump uglies tonite, wanna?"

Ahhh, memories.

Heather said...

I graduated in 2005 and I passed notes... I was poor... And way behind the times...

She Said said...

I kept a bunch of my notes too, but they looked like:

Do you like me? Check yes or no.
( ) yes ( ) no

Yeah, pathetic. I know. Nowhere near as exciting as your sexting!