Friday, May 7, 2010

Harry = No Vibrator Necessary

So I don't know if any of you are watching American Idol this year. I am. Barely. Because, snore. The best one is a girl who looks like she just set down her bong before walking on stage, so imagine how lively that one is. She's all "whoa, I'm totally singing. That dude has an English accent. Far out." or something. I don't know, I'm not up on all the pot lingo.

But anyway, I have to at least listen to it in the background every week because Captain Carl is all gay for this show. Seriously, dude can't miss it. I'm pretty sure he'd go down on Ryan Seacrest if it were a real option. Hahaaaa, just kidding! Kind of.

But dudes. This week. Harry Connick Jr. was the mentor. Those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile might remember that Harry and I have a pretty serious relationship going on.So yeah, I was all clappy and jumpy when I found out he was going to be on American Idol. We watched both episodes last night on the dvr so that we din't have to sit through the commercials and Kara's annoying ass comments.

I was all a-quiver with excitement. I made it through Tuesday night's episode with only a couple outbursts of undying love for my Harry. But then we watched Wednesday night's episode. Harry sang and for some reason my thighs just would not stay together. *shrug*

Me: *sigh* Oh Harry, you gorgeous gorgeous man.
Captain: *eye roll*
Me: *ecstatic shiver*
Captain: You okay over there?
Me: Ohhhh yeah.
Captain: Hey...
Me: Shhhh, just wait a couple minutes. *turns volume up*
Captain: You know...
Me: *turns volume up more*
Captain: *yelling* Maybe you should go get your vibrator!
Me: *pointed stare* Not necessary.

Seriously, people. The man's voice is clit-tastic. He's the clit's meow. He's a member of the clitorazzi. Totally vulvular. Vag-errific. Deserving of a standing ovary-ation.

Okay I'm done.

24 comments:

just making my way said...

"Totally vulvular" is the best phrase I've heard in ever!

Maybe if you suggest a foursome with Ryan and Harry to the Captain he will be more on board with your unbridled love for the clit's meow.

April said...

"the Clit's meow"- Love it!

miss. chief said...

ovary-ation! HA! I watched one episode of that show due to ultimate laziness and it coming on after a show that just finished, and yeah, the hippie girl kinda rules actually. The rest? Meh.

Tony said...

To be honest, I've never seen anything with Harry, but he sounds....CLIT-TASTIC!

The Crazy Baby Mama said...

haaaaaaaaaa. oh, you're wonderful. WONDERFUL.

Carolyn...Online said...

Wow, reading about Harry Connick Jr. has never made me blush before.

Moooooog35 said...

I'm so curious about this feeling now that I wish I had a clit.

kate said...

Uhh...clitorazzi? Amazing. I'm going to start my own! Derek Jeter and Zacharay Quinto (hello, Spock) and a McDreamy/McSteamy sandwich. Mmm. Yum.

cfoxes33 said...

Totally best blog I have read today! I agree. Harry is so aaaahhh.

Wow, that was awkward said...

I like how your hub suggested your vibrator instead of taking advantage of Harry getting you all worked up for himself. You two must have gotten married a long time ago!

Beta Dad said...

You should be a judge on American Idol. You could sit there silently with your junk aimed at the performer and then signal with a thumbs-up or thumbs-down. It would be called the "clitmus test."

Kurt said...

He makes Strato-Clitmulus clouds!
He gives everyone who sees him Clit-mydia.
He harvests organs off innocent 3rd world Clit-dren.

I'm not very good at this game.

Nina Patricia @ The Adventures of Nina Patricia said...

ohhhhh, I am so using some of those...I can't wait to go annoy the the hubs. Far out! LOL
Mr. Harry is one hot tamale.

Lickety Splitter said...

There is nothing like a Big Easy accent. Harry is totally smoochilicious.

Lindsay said...

I'm not sure if I agree with you about Harry's good looks - but the man is HILARIOUS I tell you. Hilarious!!

Little Girl Big Glasses said...

Like you, I also have Big Harry Eargasms. If he ever admits his secret love for me and dumps his underwear model wife, I promise I'll let you listen to him naked sometimes.

BeckEye said...

The clit's meow!! Hahahaha.

I love that Harry kind of put all those stupid kids in their places. He used humor on them and totally scrambled their circuits.

la isla d'lisa said...

Yes, yes, YES!!!!!

cassienativebeauty said...

hahahaha! The clits meow! I love it! Great post as usual...

Sarah P said...

I am incorporating all that into my vocabulary starting now.

I'll try to use each word at least once in conversation today. I think my mother-in-law will love it.

Jules said...

I even turned off the ELECTION results for my SCHOOL to watch him!! I mean, it was only in honor of you....*ahem*

Joanna Jenkins said...

You. Crack. Me. Up!
Harry was good on the show :-)
jj

alonewithcats said...

I'm with Sarah P. Well, wait, I'm not with her. Not that there's anything wrong with Sarah P. It would be AN HONOR to be with Sarah P. Seriously. I think I have to start again.

I AGREE with Sarah P. Thank you for expanding my vaginacabulary. I can't wait for my mom to read all my new favorite words on my blog. She'll probably want to thank you, too.

The mad woman behind the blog said...

MISS YVONNE!

Okay, I seriously have to watch last wednesday's episode now.

And yes, I was a little um, moist over last Tuesday's show. I so love that music and he does it better than most.

Plus I love that he doesn't take himself so seriously.

Oh, and I love you too "clit's meow!" Awesome!