Tuesday, August 4, 2009

My Bank Account Totally Got Taken To Brown Town Today

I just paid the mortgage, car payment, gas bill, electric bill, water bill and the cell phone bill all in one sitting. Now I'm all sweaty and depressed and also I want to punch someone but I can't decide between Renty or the meter reader. Because one of those assholes is responsible for my electric bill hitting $450 this month.

It sure as shit isn't me or the Captain or the Kiddo. Because we keep the air at fucking 80 degrees most of the time to keep expenses down. Even though the Captain and I are sweating are fat asses off. Do you know how hot 80 degrees feels inside to a fat person when it's 103 degrees outside every damn day? Hot as Malaysian sweat shop, that's how.

I also wait until I have a full load before doing the laundry, RENTY. Dude does his laundry every single weekend. But he never has a full load, so he does seven teeny tiny loads. I swear to Baby Jesus, last weekend he did a load that consisted of 3 pairs of socks, two pairs of underwear and a shirt. And he always sets the temp on hot.

You know what else he always does? Turns down the air conditioner upstairs. And then leaves the house for hours at a time. So yeah, thanks for wasting both gas and electricity you big jerk. You're awesome. And by "awesome" I mean "not at all awesome".

Remember how in my last post I said I still like the guy.? Yeah, I'm changing my mind.

Dude's about to start paying for utilities up in this mo fo.

22 comments:

adrienne said...

in the interest of world peace, perhaps consider that when renty says he's keepin' it real to kiddo, he means keepin' the temperature real low...?!!!

maybe?

Kim said...

$450??? For one month? You better make sure he doesn't have grow lights in there for his hydroponic weed.

Dani said...

I had a roommate like that in college. She would leave her lights, fan, stereo and tv on and then leave. After our power bill was twice normal one month I started going around turning off everything that wasn't absolutely necessary. Jeez Renty, get with the program!

adrienne said...

okay. kim is seriously blowing my mind today.

first i discover she is an actual adult with an actual child, and now she is taking hydroponics; she's like an original gangtsa or something...

word up, kim!

Vic said...

The poor man just can't help it - your cat keeps him all hot and bothered. Not sure how that affects the laundry though. Not thinking too hard about it, anyway.....

miss. chief said...

WHAT! $450!!! that's obscene

Houston said...

I feel your pain.... YO.

Perhaps the Captain and I should disconenct the hot water on the washing machine.

Or shut down the upstairs air, conditioner.

You all could be "Slum Lords" in your own house!

Jules said...

I'd totally go and change shit up on him. Like when his stuff is in the wash, change the temp to cold. And once he leaves the house, turn off the air upstairs. Hubby tells me in the summer to "Open the windows and take off clothes." In the winter, he says, "Get a blanket."

Wait, those both sound like he just wants sex.....

erin said...

I just paid all of our bills plus rent too. FREAKING RIDICULOUS! One of the reasons I haven't made your hats yet is mainly because I don't have enough money to restock my inventory. Which I REALLY have to figure out how I'm going to do that so I can make MORE money to pay some of these BILLS.


I can't believe how much we're struggling right now. It's so weird. It's like I'm getting shit on for making fun of the economic crisis report on the local news.
Or we caught some sort of 'struggling' money virus.

Mona Lott said...

Bill day always makes me hateful, too:D *SNICKER*

But Foh-Fitty really IS fucked up.

The Peach Tart said...

Mine was $500 and I live in Atlanta. I able blew my last good nerve.

Eternally Distracted said...

Sounds like a war is about to start and because I am so thoughtful and kind I will be back here tomorrow to read all about it ;0)

Little Ms Blogger said...

$450??? That was for July and I can only imagine it'll be worse in August - sorry to spread that news.

The laundry thing is just weird. Who the hell likes to do laundry? I wait till the basket is overflowing and then do it. 3 or 4 pieces is freakin insane.

kate said...

I just had one of our old-guy patients tell me that the reason that it wasn't totally swamp-assy hot thoughout July around here was all part of a conspiracy by Kansas City Power & Light to raise our rates in August...maybe Renty and your meter reader are in on the consipracy, too! Maybe it's not just KC - maybe it's the WHOLE MIDWEST!! I'll have to let this guy in on the new theory when he checks out of his appointment. It'll blow his mind.

Kurt said...

The last thing I paid $450 for was your mom. Is this how empathy works? I totally think I have the hang of it now.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Renty is a putz. A $450 bill is insane. Yikes!!!

otherworldlyone said...

You should definitely make him. Use physical force.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

You need a locked box on the temp controls. I should introduce him to someone I know who also has a hugs carbon footprint.
We spent $100.00 a month in 'Vegas to keep the house at a cool 80 degrees. Fresh air was over-rated and very hot! (That was over a decade ago.....sorry!)

Maybe get a scratch off lottery ticket today? Do you have a dollar left?

Hugs and Jugs@@

CatLadyLarew said...

Does Renty realize how many bags of ice he could buy for $450? Or how many pairs of underwear he could take to the cleaners? And what all does he have in his underwear that necessitates hot water? Oh... never mind... I don't think I wanted to go there.

Organic Meatbag said...

Your descriptions are so colorful and vivid, I cannot help but admire you...you are the cat's sweaty-ass pajamas!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

s/b huge carbon footprint.
Sorry!

Jugs@@

Dana's Brain said...

GAH! That's awful. Plus he's sexually violating your cat?!?! Wrong.

I have to pay a bunch of bills today too. You know how people say they feel all "satisfied" after doing that? I want to punch those people.