I just paid the mortgage, car payment, gas bill, electric bill, water bill and the cell phone bill all in one sitting. Now I'm all sweaty and depressed and also I want to punch someone but I can't decide between Renty or the meter reader. Because one of those assholes is responsible for my electric bill hitting $450 this month.
It sure as shit isn't me or the Captain or the Kiddo. Because we keep the air at fucking 80 degrees most of the time to keep expenses down. Even though the Captain and I are sweating are fat asses off. Do you know how hot 80 degrees feels inside to a fat person when it's 103 degrees outside every damn day? Hot as Malaysian sweat shop, that's how.
I also wait until I have a full load before doing the laundry, RENTY. Dude does his laundry every single weekend. But he never has a full load, so he does seven teeny tiny loads. I swear to Baby Jesus, last weekend he did a load that consisted of 3 pairs of socks, two pairs of underwear and a shirt. And he always sets the temp on hot.
You know what else he always does? Turns down the air conditioner upstairs. And then leaves the house for hours at a time. So yeah, thanks for wasting both gas and electricity you big jerk. You're awesome. And by "awesome" I mean "not at all awesome".
Remember how in my last post I said I still like the guy.? Yeah, I'm changing my mind.
Dude's about to start paying for utilities up in this mo fo.
If You Would Sing For Me Like That
2 weeks ago