Monday, August 31, 2009

My Son Loves Men...Apparently.

I think the Kiddo has been busy pissing off the young ladies at his school. Because I found this on his car today.


It happened at school. He had to drive home with it like this.

This is the third time he's had window decor mysteriously show up on his vehicle since my sister gave it to him.

The first time, someone drew a giant penis on the back window....complete with hairy balls and life like semen dripping from it and condoms hanging on the antenna. Unfortunately, I missed seeing this one as it was done in the middle of the night and apparently I walked right past it in my bleary-eyed state the next morning without even noticing.

The Kiddo found out it was a girl that used to like him who did it.


The second time, I walked out in the morning and noticed the back window had something written on it like "What chair in band are you again?". Ooooooh, snap! Beware the vicious band-nerd diss!

See, the Kiddo did not make first chair in band for his senior year, as he had expected. Instead, he made 3rd chair...and two juniors got 1st and 2nd chairs. Coincidentally, the 2nd chair junior was also a girl he dated for quite awhile last year.

She was also the one who wrote on his car.

Sensing a pattern here?



This last one is somewhat of a mystery so far..it's either the last girl that he dated or another girl that he almost dated but changed his mind about. Or something like that. The point is that my the boy deserves every bit of it.

The only one that really bothered him was the penis...and Captain Carl didn't notice it until about noon, so all the neighbors got to see some great art that morning.

I asked him today if it upset him to drive home with "Gay Driver" written on his windshield. He was all "Meh." and I was all "Did anyone honk?" and he was all "No but one dude was next to me at a light and he was laughing so I looked over and waggled my eyebrows at him."

Oh how I love that kid!

So I can't wait until he pisses off another one. Whoever it ends up being, I hope she draws another penis...I really hate that I missed getting a picture of that.

27 comments:

diane said...

This is already much more interesting than Renty, or the Librarian. I love kiddo's attitude, Meh. xo

Vic said...

I may have to adopt your son.

Jules said...

You know, I think we really should adopt this way of dealing with our frustrations as adults. I forgot how we used to do these things in high school. Let's make a pact to bring it back!

Melinda Arnold said...

lol wish I lived near you

Kristine said...

Well this will just make things all the more easy to stalk you by when I move to the region next summer.
Follow the trail of scorned women to the gay-porn SUV. Got it.

Little Ms Blogger said...

I love how your son handles everything - so very laid back....your stories about him, make me laugh.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Hello! I can't remember how I got here (stalking and following I think) but I'm happy I did!

This post has awesome written all over it (though not on the windshield, unfortunately, though if it had one I'd totally do it). Your poor son's dilemma reminds me of coming out of a mall once with my sister and finding the word "TWATTY" lipsticked on my windshield. I was completely confused as I was on vacation and nobody knew me. And as far as I knew, no one was calling me Twatty - certainly not to my face. Turns out some teens did it who'd mistaken my crappy rental for some rival teen girl's car. It was sort of the teen equivalent of the mafia leaving a horse's head in your bed.

Seriously, like 'twatty' is even a word.

otherworldlyone said...

Your son is awesome. "Meh". Hahaha.

adrienne said...

i'm with jules...let's all start defacing each other's property with embarrassing epithets!

smells like teen spirit!

Kurt said...

Waggling eyebrows is the best form of communication there is. It says so much. That's why I use it when I crash wakes.

kate said...

We used to write "honk to see me naked" on the back window of the hot football players' cars that we liked...we were very mature.

Mona Lott said...

Haaahahahaha! He's a good one. LOVE the eyebrow waggle:D

Maybe he could throw some windex wipes in the ol glove compartment? Less comedy, but mo sparkle!

erin said...

At first I was pissed off a little bit, but after hearing how he took it, it made me feel better.

It's still a cruel prank though. I never did anything like that in high school...mmhmmm...

Betsey Booms said...

He's a playah! And they be hatin'!

Candice said...

I would advise him to carry around a bottle of windex and a roll of paper towels in his car.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I wish you guys were my neighbors! What fun! Maybe he really likes Emo and the girls found out and they're pissed about it! ;)

Jugs@@

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

"Come on, girls! Let's do this shit!! What did you write, Stacey?"

"I wrote HONK IF YOU LOVE MEN!!"

"Yes, that's coolio and off the hizook! What did you write, Tiffany??"

"I wrote, hee hee, I wrote...(snort) Gay Driver!!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!! It's funny because of the GAY!!! Oh Tiffany, you are ridonkulously funny!! High five, girlfriend!"

(Group high five. Maybe Top Gun style where they flip it around. Who knows with kids these days. Not me that's for sure.)

"What did you write on the side, Harriet?"

"I wrote...get this...ooh this one's gonna burn...I wrote ROOM FOR 1 MORE. Right? Am I right?? What? Too mean? high five??"

*crickets*

Miss Yvonne said...

Steamy...I heart you. So. Hard.

p.s. Poor Harriet.

just making my way said...

He? Is awesome. But I think you and he already know that.

Perfect attitude!

Lulu said...

I want to date, er MEET your son. And then break up with him and blog about it.

But then I'll get arrested, and they don't let you blog in prison, I don't think.

So....just reading about it here is good. yeah.

Kim said...

The fact that the huge penis and discarded condoms went unnoticed by you is a very revealing look into your mind...

Eva Gallant said...

Ya gotta' love his self-confidence! What a great kid!

Prosy said...

these are either some creative girls, or your son must be a real suave lover to inspire such radical scorned women. probably both- your blood runs through his veins.

Mr. Glob said...

oh the memories... I remember one girl getting a cake "made" in the backseat of her car. by "made" i mean all the ingredients were thrown and mashed into her seats... kinda mean but at least they took out all the egg shells :)

Hippo Brigade said...

That girl is both psyco and hilarious. I like her. And your son? He sounds amazing, even if he is a band-geek.

Mr. Glob said...

I left something for you on my page!!

Blaise said...

Just to clear up the "room for one more" question- probably a Family Guy reference and they were calling your son gay.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CkYVuhpQTk
"Room for one more? Hell yeah!"
And... I love your blog!