Monday, August 17, 2009

A Stainy Anus Of My Very Own

You know how when it's your birthday or Christmas and you ask your parents to get you something really awesome this year, like a Cabbage Patch Doll or a Walkman or the latest Color Me Badd tape and you're pretty sure you are totally getting it and then the happy day arrives and you open your present and instead of the Cabbage Patch Doll, your parents gave you Garbage Pail Kids? And you are a little disappointed at first because you didn't get exactly what you wanted, but then you realize that GPKs are really cool and also pretty gross and therefore are way better than a stupid CPD.

That totally happened to me today.

Steamy over at Steam Me Up, Kid had a giveaway and I entered, even though I knew I shouldn't win because I already won one of her giveaways and I never got the plants she sent me to live so I really didn't deserve to win again. But still! I wanted that Mr. T voice thingy! Well, I didn't win and I found out through Kurt's blog, which is like finding out from your best friend that your husband is cheating on you. I went right over to Steamy's blog to congratulate the winners and also to say I really didn't want her stupid prizes anyway because I heard she wipes them across her vagina before she sends them out.

But then I didn't do that because she gave me Garbage Pail Kids....aka this award.

If you don't know what it is, don't ask.

I don't know if I'm supposed to feel honored, but I totally do. Stainy! My blog is stainy, y'all! This is probably the grossest thing that's ever been on my blog, which also makes it one of my most favoritest things.

Then I went over to Trodo's blog and realized I actually DID win her giveaway...but turns out everyone that entered won, which is like everyone in the state who bought a lottery ticket won and yes I know that was in a movie and I'm pretty sure it was Liar Liar or maybe it was Dumb and Dumber and yes I know it wasn't either of those movies but meh, whatever.

I just know that she's gonna send me that creepy mask thing. I just know it.


The Peach Tart said...

That is quite the award you got there. Display it proudly. You seem to be on a big winning streak. Perhaps you should buy a lottery ticket.

CatLadyLarew said...

EW... lucky you! We're all so proud!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Congratulations? Maybe you should buy some scratcher tickets?
Maybe you should wipe that thing on the award?


Steam Me Up, Kid said...

My Garbage Pail Kid was named Beaky Becky. (Oh, the shame!)

I could not be more proud right now. Of you and of me. I want to hold your hand and sing, "This Anus is Your Anus, This Anus is My Anus" or "Staindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head" or something. I can't believe you posted it, but I actually think it looks kind of good on your sidebar. At first glance, because of the colors, it looks like one of those "Somethin Somethin For Dummies" books, but then you look closer and POW! Stainy Anus. Which, coincidentally, sounds like its own Garbage Pail Kid.

I love you, Miss Yvonne.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Really? Lucky or cursed with the Stainy Award?

Don't be showing this to renter guy (does he still exist or did he run off with one of your cats?)

Too bad you couldn't make the award into a button and wear it proud for your family. -- Now, that would be special.

erin said...

Let me in on a little secret...

Trodo is actually sending everyone farts in a box, or little ninjas. Just be prepared either way.

And if I wasn't supposed to give that away, I'll let the ninjas capture and torture me open their arrival

otherworldlyone said...

You crack me up.

diane said...

Blech! You know the character Chrissy, from Now and Then, who brushed her hair 100 strokes everyday? Well, that was me. Apparently it still is. I have to go wash my eyeballs out with boric acid now.

Anonymous said...

I have this mad desire to rush home and clean the carpet.

Congratulations! Do you think this awards ceremony will ever be televised?

Mandy's Kidding said...


Chimera Jones said...

My parents have a dog asshole to rival that piece of awesome in ways you can't even figure.

I often compare assholes like this.


PS... My parents have the rest of the dog too, not just his asshole.

Phew. Glad we cleared that one up.

Anonymous said...

What is it?