Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Tom Brady Is Totally Not From Canada

This conversation just happened...

Me: (reading awesome Jodi Picoult book)
Captain Carl: (sits down on couch) What are you watching?
Me: Ace of Cakes, but I'm not really paying attention.
Captain Carl: You just KNOW all those people that work at that place are totally stoned all the time.
Me: Hmmm, totally.
Captain Carl: Lucky bastards.

silence for 20 minutes

Me: (looking up from book) What is that cake for?
Captain Carl: Best Buddies International.
Me: What is that?
Captain Carl: It's some organization for tards.
Me: They have an organization for retarded people to make cakes?
Captain Carl: Not just cakes.
Me: So they make other bakery products too?
Captain Carl: Maybe, but I think they also do other things besides baking.
Me: I would totally buy a mentally challenged cake.
Captain Carl: The cake isn't mentally challenged.
Me: It is too! Look, it's all lopsided.
Captain Carl: They did that on purpose.
Me: That's just what they tell the buddies to make them feel better. And less, you know, challenge-y.

silence for 5 seconds.

Me: I could totally go for a mentally challenged apple fritter right now.
Captain Carl: *sigh*

silence for 5 seconds.

Me: Why are there gears on the cake?
Captain Carl: Because that's their logo.
Me: Gears? Gears are their logo?
Captain Carl: Did I stutter?
Me: That doesn't make any sense. It should be, like, a kid wearing a helmet or something.
Captain Carl: Maybe you should write a letter.
Me: I will TOTALLY write a letter!

silence while we watch Duff talk about Tom Brady coming to the Best Buddies event.

Me: I didn't know Tom Brady was from Canada.
Captain Carl: Huh?
Me: Is Tom Brady from Canada?
Captain Carl: What?
Me: Wait. I'm in Canada in my BOOK, not on tv.
Captain Carl: *blink*
Me: *hysterical laughter* Omygod that was hilarious!
Captain Carl: *more blinking*

It's official, I'm a genius.


Anonymous said...

"It should be, like, a kid wearing a helmet or something."

Totally something I would say.... And then Hubby would say that I am "just wrong" for saying it...

The Peach Tart said...

I agree with Captain Carl, I think the bakers on Ace of Cakes are stoned all the time too. Looks like a fun job to me.

Anonymous said...

Haha they are TOTALLY stoned. Is it just me or do you want to pummel that odd looking receptionist chick who makes wise cracks all the time and doesn't do any work? Because I really want to bitch-slap her. And also, is it just me that Duff no longer does any work hardly, he just lets his team do it then he takes all the credit?

Your conversation made me laugh. Tard things are funny.

just making my way said...

I'm so over Ace of Cakes. I like it in the beginning but now I kind of think they are mostly annoying. Except for the one guy who seems to do all the work - Jeff? Is that his name?

Anyway. Tom Brady sure has been playing like he's from Canada! Oo, that sounded insulting to Canadians. I'm just not very happy with Tom and his crew right now. Sorry, Canada.

Mona Lott said...

Hahahahaha! Tom Brady is totally a Best Buddy!

diane said...

That was such a cute peek into your world of domestic bliss. I need to have a donut or a pancake or something now.

otherworldlyone said...

Yeah...they're stoned. Because they're bakers.

I need a helmet.

erin said...

I always carry a book like it's a guise or a cover up. When people see you reading they think you're all quiet and introspective...until you pounce on them with your annoyingness and there's nothing they can do about it! AHA!

SeaWorthy said...

This is totally off subject, girlfriend. I was thinking of you allllll last night, I actually wanted to CALL you and make sure that you were up, but.... I dont know your name or where you live.

I hope you watched Leno last night because PEe WeE was on!!!!!
Heeeees BBaaaaack!

Brandy Rose said...

I often confuse reality with books I'm reading. "Oh yeah, I know a guy who...wait, thats a character in the book I'm reading...NM"

Anonymous said...

Tom Brady from Canada sounds like something I would do! Funny!

Unindicted Co-Conspirator said...

It's a bad sign when you mingle details of your book with details of the TV show and both bleed over into your real life. Either that, or you're losing your grip on reality. And don't call them 'tards. They prefer "little people".

Vic said...

I have a secret little nerd-crush on Jeff from Ace of Cakes. He has such a dry sense of humor, and he makes the best whitewall tires in the place.

Who wouldn't love that? (Jeff is stoned. He's just high on logic.)

Prosy said...


TrodoMcCracken said...

Ace of Cakes is the best show! So inspiring considering it inspired me to make a penis cake. Or wait, that was you who inspired me to make a penis cake.

Damn you and your addiction to penis!

plo said...

I'm reading one of her books too...which one are you reading? Please share the gonja. My verification word is: skfurbag!! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Zoe Right said...

Which Jodi book are you reading? Is it the one where you feel the need to grab your kid in a bear hug and never let them out of the house?

On another note: That has to be the very best husband/wife exchange ever.

Anonymous said...

Yikes that was funny. But the scary thing is, it could totally have been heard in my house.

Thanks for the laugh.

Amy said...

When my sister was in jr. high there was an assignment in art class to make something out of clay. My sister made a little boy sitting down. They had to put their creations over on the counter to dry and then paint them during their next art class. When my sis got art class two days later her sculpture had lost one of its arms. The teacher was walking around while they were painting and he asked her what she had made. She replied, without even pausing, "Jerry's kid?"

She got deetention every day for two weeks. Some people just have no sense of humor regarding the challenged!