Guess what y'all? Less than two months until Baby Jesus' birthday! I am only bringing this up because I saw my first Christmas commercial yesterday. And because we all tend to get wrapped up in our shopping and baking and planning, most of us forget the true reason for the season. So I thought I'd remind y'all.
Okay, that had nothing to do with Jesus. I'm sure (capitalized) He's like, totally happy about that too. Because I doubt Jesus wants to be associated with me pinching a giant nutcracker's nipple or Captain Carl's cousin grabbing his balls or my sister positioned on the floor in front of him like she's about to give him the best blow job of his wooden life. Probably because it's not very, you know, churchy and also because (capitalized) He totally wished he'd thought of it first because hello? hilarious!
Yep, I'm definitely going to hell.
P.S. I'm starting to think the black bars I put over everyone's faces aren't fooling anyone. Like, I'm pretty sure if my sister found my blog, she'd totally know that was herself in that picture. Maybe I should write something over them??
On Becoming My Grandmother
5 weeks ago