Thursday, November 5, 2009

'Tis The Season To Be Sexy

Guess what y'all? Less than two months until Baby Jesus' birthday! I am only bringing this up because I saw my first Christmas commercial yesterday. And because we all tend to get wrapped up in our shopping and baking and planning, most of us forget the true reason for the season. So I thought I'd remind y'all.



Okay, that had nothing to do with Jesus. I'm sure (capitalized) He's like, totally happy about that too. Because I doubt Jesus wants to be associated with me pinching a giant nutcracker's nipple or Captain Carl's cousin grabbing his balls or my sister positioned on the floor in front of him like she's about to give him the best blow job of his wooden life. Probably because it's not very, you know, churchy and also because (capitalized) He totally wished he'd thought of it first because hello? hilarious!

Yep, I'm definitely going to hell.

P.S. I'm starting to think the black bars I put over everyone's faces aren't fooling anyone. Like, I'm pretty sure if my sister found my blog, she'd totally know that was herself in that picture. Maybe I should write something over them??


16 comments:

uncouthheathen said...

That nutcracker is one hot wooden motherfucker.

Jules said...

Jesus hung out with heathens. I think you make him proud. (notice I did NOT capitalize the 'him'). ;)

Kurt said...

Baby Jesus put nipples on this Earth specifically for pinching, and lo all was right with the world, so sayeth Your Mom.

just making my way said...

That nutcracker is having the best day of his life right there.

otherworldlyone said...

Three blondes, a naughty nutcracker, and Jesus talk. My friday is now complete.

miss. chief said...

that nutcracker just got wood. heh heh.

boner!

ps i drew a picture of you. it's on my blog today.

well...it's just a stick person with a dress on that says YVONNE across it. anyway check it out.

erin said...

ha! Now I'm in the Christmas spirit too! Yay for hot blondes...and nut...crackers?

kate said...

Pretty sure that I want to come drinking with you guys for Christmas...

diane said...

Should we be happy that you didn't position the figurines in the manger into "dirty" positions?
(I'm going to hell with you)

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Got wood?

Jugs@@

kys said...

I'll bet you have the best holiday parties, ev-ah!

The Peach Tart said...

ya'll are having so much fun I'm jealous

Chris said...

The letters totally did it. I couldn't even tell they were women anymore.

Unindicted Co-Conspirator said...

The scandals your family gets in should really not be blogged about. If they ever think they've guessed your secret identity, those revised black bars will be sure to throw them off the scent, unless, like my own beloved sisters, they are complete sluts.

diane said...

I gave you a huge shout out a few days ago, fyi. Today I gave you an award, you funny girl! xo d

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