I had one drink. Okay, it was a huge drink. Okay, it was a huge drink with 5 different liquors in it. Okay, I had two of them. Whatever. My point is that I might have been somewhat tipsy when I decided that it would be a great idea to head back to campus and take some night photos. So that was how three grown women ended up dancing around in front of a camera on the square of a major university at 11pm at night. My 17 year old niece is considering attending this same college. This was something I thought of in the middle of our night shoot and decided to text her....
Me: Dude guess what???? I'm on the ___ campuus and I'm a tiny bit drunks!!
Her: Quit drunk dialing me you ho.
Me: Haaahaa! Uur hilaarous!!
Her: Go sleep it off loser!
Me: Im just gettingg started! All aboard the party train! Cchoo choo!
Her: B careful. Don't drink anything from strange guys & get date raped.
Me: Will du. Play on playa.
10 minutes later I texted her again.
Me: Hey Im gonna askk 4 the best place to hit a kegger. I let u know for next yr, k?
Her: Tell me ur kidding
Me: OMG some guy jst walked by w a bong in his hand!
Her: No way
Me: For reals! He prob knows where I can hit a ragin kegger
Her: Srsly, I'm concerned for ur safety
Me: Nah its alll good. Word to ur mom who is also my sister. Ha up top!
I'm pretty much the best and most responsible aunt ever, right? I should get an award for being such a great role model.
P.S. At some point in the evening some college kid drove up to us and asked if I wanted to take his picture and supposedly I said "You know it, hot stuff." and then I allegedly said "Hey, my friend here is 45 and single and ready to mingle. Awwww yeah" and possibly "Seriously dude, she can totally buy you beer. Call it trade." I have no recollection of any of this, but my friends swear that I did. Lying bitches.
See? I should be a guidance counselor or something.
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23 comments:
Nice. Good effort pimping out your friend. Did it work for her?
Oh. My. God. Best effing story evah!!
If my aunt text messaged me like that, I would probably hang out with her every weekend. I can't wait until my niece is older so I can do that. I'd do it now, but most 3-year-olds don't have cell phones. "Play on playa," HAHAHAHA!
I wish MY nieces called me ho.
I was going to leave an awesome comment but then I saw the phrase "super vagina" out of the corner of my eye and now I can't remember what I was going to say. Probably "nice cans" or something.
I love that she expressed concern for your safety, and preceded it with "Srsly". Kids these days.
You're an awesome cougar pimp.
Awesome! I am verymuchhappy to see the beloved "Long Island Iced Tea" still has the ability to smash any brain cells into submission.
LOL
That's awesome.
My Aunt was the same way. Only with less cool wording. No "up top" stuff going on.
LOL Hilarious post!
Hilarious! Did you find that raging kegger?
Dude, If I had a aunt who drunk texted me when I was 17 I think I'd me a much cooler person.
Well, you are definitely my role model. Srsly.
You're like the "Auntie Mame" of the 2000s.
Are you rich?
Rock it sister!!!!
you are like a superhero and also? I would totally invite you to my ragin' kegger.
I'll show you a kegger...in my pants!
what? sorry.
Always looking out for your friends! I wanna be just like you when I grow up...drunk and LMAO!
Happy Thanksgiving role model. I don't have any nieces or nephews. Or at least, I don't think that I do.
I think that is the BEST aunt BEHAVIOR ever! I took notes. My niece is 11. Should I start the drunk texting this year or wait until she's 13?
The text messages are hilarious! But the pic just tops it off!
Anyway, just wanted to stop by and let you know you won! Check out my latest post to see what to do next.
Thanks Lady!!
You are cracking me up-- AGAIN!
Hope you had a fun holiday.
xo
Sometimes my parents send me text messages like that and, I swear, it makes me love them more.
I want to go with next time.
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