I suck at blogging. And at dieting. Because I haven't been here in almost a week and still can't think of anything awesome to blog about. And because it's been 3 weeks and I haven't lost a single pound.
Failure, thy name is Miss Yvonne.
Also? Suck it Chick fil A. You and your delicious chicken sandwiches can go to hell. And take that "limited time only" peppermint chocolate chip shake with you. You asshole.
Also? I just read on a fashion blog today that those shrug sweaters with ties in the front are ridiculously outdated. Guess what I'm wearing today after finding it at the back of my closet and getting all clappy and jumpy because I forgot I had it and look how cute it still is? Damn it.
Also? In 3 weeks I'm going to NOLA for 4 days and just realized I have to share a suitcase with Captain Carl because we don't want to pay for two checked bags and there is no way I can take 4 pairs of shoes and 5 pairs of pants and 8 shirts if I have to make room for his shit too. Screw you, budget.
Also? I have to find some holiday spirit somewhere. Anyone have some extra they can email me or something? Because I have zero. We're putting the tree up this weekend and all I can do when I think about it is sigh heavily. Deck the halls with boughs of blah blah.
Also? It's December 1. The mortgage is due today.
Also? Marian is moving out in 15 days and we have to find a new renter.
Also? My kid lost his winter coat and needs a haircut and isn't studying for the ACT and is probably right this very minute skipping class to have sex with his girlfriend.
Also? Captain Carl bought me flowers yesterday. Just because.
Life is pretty good, now that I think about it.
On Becoming My Grandmother
5 weeks ago