I had one drink. Okay, it was a huge drink. Okay, it was a huge drink with 5 different liquors in it. Okay, I had two of them. Whatever. My point is that I might have been somewhat tipsy when I decided that it would be a great idea to head back to campus and take some night photos. So that was how three grown women ended up dancing around in front of a camera on the square of a major university at 11pm at night. My 17 year old niece is considering attending this same college. This was something I thought of in the middle of our night shoot and decided to text her....
Me: Dude guess what???? I'm on the ___ campuus and I'm a tiny bit drunks!!
Her: Quit drunk dialing me you ho.
Me: Haaahaa! Uur hilaarous!!
Her: Go sleep it off loser!
Me: Im just gettingg started! All aboard the party train! Cchoo choo!
Her: B careful. Don't drink anything from strange guys & get date raped.
Me: Will du. Play on playa.
10 minutes later I texted her again.
Me: Hey Im gonna askk 4 the best place to hit a kegger. I let u know for next yr, k?
Her: Tell me ur kidding
Me: OMG some guy jst walked by w a bong in his hand!
Her: No way
Me: For reals! He prob knows where I can hit a ragin kegger
Her: Srsly, I'm concerned for ur safety
Me: Nah its alll good. Word to ur mom who is also my sister. Ha up top!
I'm pretty much the best and most responsible aunt ever, right? I should get an award for being such a great role model.
P.S. At some point in the evening some college kid drove up to us and asked if I wanted to take his picture and supposedly I said "You know it, hot stuff." and then I allegedly said "Hey, my friend here is 45 and single and ready to mingle. Awwww yeah" and possibly "Seriously dude, she can totally buy you beer. Call it trade." I have no recollection of any of this, but my friends swear that I did. Lying bitches.
See? I should be a guidance counselor or something.