Me: Morning Sunshine.
Captain: *yawns* Morning.
Me: I had the weirdest dream last night.
Captain: Me too! We went on vacation with Mailman Mike and Fairy and we went to this Atlantis-type resort and you were getting a massage and I was trying to find the pool and I had to go through all these mazes to find it and then I finally got there only I was in this compartment on the bottom of the pool and it was glass and I could see the bottom and it had a coral reef and there were these turtles swimming around and then the compartment filled with water and it carried me up to the top of the pool and then I started swimming around and there were these concrete ledges or something on the edge of the pool that you could walk on but you could swim in the deep part in the middle.
Captain: And the turtles were those sea turtles.
Captain: You know. *does swimming motion with arms* Glub.
Me: Where were Mike and Fairy?
Captain: I don't know, around.
Me: And the compartment filled with water.
Me: But you don't float, you always sink.
Captain: I know! That's the weird part.
Me: Oh yeah, that's the weird part.
Captain: What was your dream about?
Me: I was trying to put gas in my car and my credit card kept getting denied.
Captain: That's it?
Me: It was just odd because I don't even use credit cards anymore.
Me: What? That's a weird dream too!
Captain: You didn't have any sea turtles though.
Me: This isn't a competition.
Captain: If it were, you would totally lose.
Captain: I'm just sayin'.
On Becoming My Grandmother
2 weeks ago