Sunday, January 24, 2010

Get Your Cuteness Out Of My Face, Blow Puppy.

Someone sent me an email today about a bunch of puppies she and her husband found abandoned on the side of the road. Here's what she said...

"these are the 11 babies we rescued on the side of the road in the middle of no where Saturday following New Years. Tell me what kind of cold heart it takes to do something like that! They must have thought we were the people who had dumped them because they ran out to the road when we came around the curve then ran back into the thicket.....was very cold and they were so hungry.....would have been coyote food that night most likely! "

Seriously, it's like puppies are falling from the sky and into my lap and garage lately. First Regina, then Carlos and now Hootie and the Blow Puppies. Oh yeah, I totally named them that.

It's like God is begging me to adopt a dog. I told Captain Carl that I'm a good Christian girl and good Christian girls do not say no to God. He was all "I didn't know good Christian girls liked to be spanked with riding crops" and I was all "Ssshhh, don't say that out loud...He might hear you" and he was all "I'm pretty sure He can see you too, so He probably already knows" and then I karate chopped him in the face and I'm totally adopting one of those puppies. Or not. Probably the second one.


Ugh, look at the one licking the window. He's licking the window, people!


25 comments:

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Miss Yvonne, you are killing me with these orphan dog posts.

Isn't "a deluge of puppies" one of the signs of the apocalypse? Right after locusts?

Tristachio said...

I'm pretty sure it's not God telling you to adopt a puppy but Satan. They may be all extremely cute and window licking right now but when you bring them into your house it's all "I'm going to crap all over your things and maybe, just maybe pee on the cats already in the house because I'm just awesome like that and oh hey is that a new leather couch?! I AM GOING TO EAT THAT BITCH!". And you can't even punch them for doing any of that because they are cute puppies and it'd pretty much make baby angels die.

Surfie said...

Oh, they are so adorable! If I could afford it (and if my DH wouldn't kill me for it) I'd probably have a whole passel of mutts running around the house. I have to settle for just two though. (For now...Bwahahahaha!)

diane said...

I'm right there with Tristachio on this one, but even so, whoever left those puppies on their own by a highway (of all places) deserves to burn in h*ll.

Sarah P said...

You know who else needed a home? Carlos Spicy Weiner. It would be a slap in his face to go an adopt another puppy now.

Is that what you want? To slap Carlos Spicy Weiner in the face?

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I would like to kill those people whoever they were. Assholes. But OMG THE CUTE IS KILLING ME. I want all of them. I am a fiend for black labs especially. PINE! :)

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I want all of them. OMG, the cuteness factor is off the charts with those puppies!

Jugs@@

Little Ms Blogger said...

Doesn't Captain Carl realize that you're like Noah (God telling him to build an ark) or Moses (leading random strangers out into the desert because he didn't ask for directions) -- in your case, God is telling you to take in all homeless doggies!

You're the official keeper of the dogs...

He can't mess with that. Remind him of the rain when no one believed Noah.

Harna said...

I volunteer at the Humane Society, which was a really bad idea because now I have this urge to sell everything I have, buy a farm and devote my life to crazy dog lady-itis. A 600 square foot apartment just won't hold all the homeless dogs in the world dammit.

just making my way said...

Puppies are awesome. The puppy breath? Sigh. How is that puppy breath is so wonderful but dog breath is equal to the stench of hell?

Or at least what I assume the stenches of hell would smell like.

Just.Kate said...

That asshole needs to stop licking the fucking window- NOW. *turns away* ...No, really. It's just something in my eye.

FIX YOUR DOGS, PEOPLE. Save yourself the gas money and the trip to hell.

HELL.

*sniffle*

Jules said...

See? You wouldn't even have to clean! Not only is he cute, but he CLEANS!!! Handy.

Stephanie Meade Gresham said...

i'm with steam me up... plague of frogs? i think plague of dogs.

licking windows is a sign of genius in puppies. either that or retardation.

please lemme have one!

Ed Adams said...

Too cute.

If Capt. Carl gets that job, he totally needs to let you get a new puppy to keep you company while he's gone.

kate said...

And that is exactly why I'm not allowed to go near animal shelters, groomers, the vet or pet stores. I see cute, furry things in cages, I suddenly feel an overwhelming urge to bring them home and love on them. My husband, however, is slightly against the idea of me turning into a crazy cat and/or dog lady...such a jerk.

Moooooog35 said...

Is it National Blog About Dogs Week or some shit?

Although mine is about why I think my dog is a member of Al Qaeda, but whatever.

BugginWord said...

I would have gone with Hall and Pups, myself. Don't hit me with the riding crop.

DevilsHeaven said...

Sweet heaven that is a lot of cuteness!!! Oh how I wish I could convince my hubs to get a puppy!

bikramyogachick said...

I don't know how you are going to be able to resist these! Esp the one licking the window!

Soda and Candy said...

Who are you to argue with God, Captain Carl?

WHO???

Peggy said...

Do all dogs go to heaven miss yvonne? do they?!?

Toe said...

Awww. I want one right now! You have to save those puppies, it's what Jesus would do.

Richard @ The Bewildered Brit said...

Ok, that's so cute I feel marginally queasy!

Mrs. Booms said...

Yeah puppies are cute until they pee on the floor and leave half chewed cat turds all over the house.

You're welcome. Or Velcome, because... you know.

Undercover Philosopher said...

how could anyone not want these?