Captain Carl had a job interview in Houston this week. Houston, y'all. Houston is four hours away from here. We have no interest in living in Houston. Under normal circumstances, the Captain wouldn't have even bothered with the phone interview. But we are not living under normal circumstances, people. It has now been a full year since he was laid off. A full year since we decided to take in renters and live with roommates...something we never thought could happen after buying our own home. A full year since our emotions and psyche and checkbook and egos took a huge hit right in the nards. A full year and still we are struggling.
So when one of few opportunities for an in-person interview comes along, you take it. Even if it means that one of you would have to live four hours away, five days a week for six months if you were actually offered the job. Because a six month contract job is better than no job at all.
So Captain Carl made arrangements to drive to Houston and I spent the night before he left laying in bed worrying. See, I like to create these elaborate and far-fetched stories in my head when I'm stressed out. This particular story involved the Captain getting this job and moving to Houston and becoming increasingly distant from me and the Kiddo back home and then he starts talking a lot about some lady named Shelly that he works with and he's all "Shelly is so funny" and "Shelly loves Indian food just as much as me" and "Shelly told the funniest joke the other day" and then I'm all "Ummm, what does Shelly look like exactly?" and he's all "Why?" and I'm all "I mean, is she ugly?" and he's all "Why are you giving me the 3rd degree? What's the big deal? Don't you trust me?" and then I decide to make a spontaneous trip to Houston to surprise him and blam! guess who's at his apartment when I show up? That bitch Shelly, that's who.
Then I finally fell asleep and the next day I had forgotten completely about my story because I was now too busy worrying about the Captain getting in a car accident on the way to Houston and maybe getting mugged or shanked once he got there. Because I'm a mental patient.
And here's why my crazy story is ridiculous. Captain Carl and I cannot stand being away from each other. I was all "Call me before you leave" and he was all "Okay" and I was all "And call me when you check into your hotel" and he was all "I will" and I was all "And promise to call me after your interview" and he was all "Damn Gina, I promise!". Did I mention that I'm a mental patient? And then it turned out that he forgot his phone charger, so he called quickly after arrival to tell me he wouldn't call me that night. Sob! A whole night without talking. Suck.
But he couldn't do it. He called twice and texted me and then I finally told him I would call his hotel room and we talked for two hours. We're like teenager. Really super awesome and sexy non-awkward teenagers.
This is gonna suck if he gets that job. Shelly better keep her distance. I'm not afraid to cut a bitch.
On Becoming My Grandmother
3 months ago