Carlos got adopted, y'all. And not by me. Some other (probably) douchebag family adopted him right out from under me. And now he probably has some lame ass name like Droopy or Shorty or Bob. And because the lady at the shelter refused to write Carlos Spicy Weiner on his cage like I asked when I called up there the first time (bitch), this family will never know how awesome his name could have been. Because there is no way that (most likely) dumb family could come up with a name that awesome. Poor Carlos.
*sigh*
And poor me. Okay so I probably wasn't gonna adopt Carlos in the first place because we're broke and already have two asshole cats living here that are doing a fine job ripping the shit out of my house. But now that he's gone, I can't even dream. Or sell merchandise legitimately.
So everyone can take down their Save Carlos buttons. I guess technically he did get saved, but it wasn't by me and now this awesome storyline has a super lame ending. I probably should have lied and said we adopted him and then wrote all kinds of humorous and heartwarming stories about our silly Carlos Spicy Weiner and made millions on doggy t-shirts and thong underwear sales. But I just couldn't lie to you guys. You complete me. Or whatever.
Damn it, Captain Carl!
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22 comments:
God Speed, Carlos Spicy Weiner dog.
Or, as your new family has named you:
God Speed, Mr. Cuddlewinks.
God Speed.
I would have named him Bob, but I swear it wasn't me who adopted him.
Sucks to be broke.
Poor poor Carlos, maybe he will rebel against his new "family" and get returned to the shelter so that you can adopt him and properly name him!
Just kidding, I hope his new home treats him well. He is a good lookin' little fella.
The biggest travesty of it all it that Carlos won't ever be able to wear doggy thong underwear.
May you and Carlos perseve in spite it all.
Robyn
bet he's wearing one of those argyle sweaters right about now, and looking forward to his ride in the doggy stroller.
You can only hope that Carlos will continue to live up to his real name, even as a Shorty or Bob. His new family will be all, Why is this dog so badass? And he'll know.
those assclowns - how DARE they take your carlos!
Don't worry: i won't get all polyanna-ish on your ass with a "well, at least someone adopted him."
I would have bought a shirt and the underwear!
I think Captain Carl should have to change his name to Carlos to make up for the transgression.
WHAT?! That was YOUR Carlos Spicy Weiner.
What douchebags!
Boo hiss!
I guess we should be grateful that Carlos no longer has to spend his time making milkbone shivs... right?
Ah well just think of the money you saved on vet bills!!!
I need a tissue.
I'm happy for the dog but I'm so sad that you didn't give the dog to Kiddo or Emo for Christmas.
That would have been awesome!
I hope Carlos has a long and happy life with his new family.
Jugs@@
How sad.
He probably would have been better off rotting in that cage, but now.....he's with some illegal Mexican family who's going make spicy Carlos burritos.
P.S. I nominated you for BEST HUMOR BLOG on the 2010 bloggies.
He was probably a shit-eater anyway. Carlos Spicy Shit-eater.
Fooey. I think you should take a vow of celibacy to punish Captain Carl. Sex is overrated anyway. SAY IT!
Ok, so I like the "Spicy Weiner" part. I may have to include that on the end of my weiner dog's name. Hmm. It's a thought.
I understand a Korean family adopted him and named him Bo-shin-tang.
No more cold jail cell for him. He'll be nice and warm now.
Oh Carlos, we hardly knew you! Even with a lame new name, at least he has a new home. Silver lining and all?
We all know that whatever his new owners call him, in his heart he'll be forever Carlos Spicy Wiener!
I bet Captain Carl will catch hell for that!
So sorry :-(
jj
At least he didn't die....
I know it's too late to comment when Asian porn spam beats me to it. Carlos, we hardly knew ye.
Well...I mean a little. What? that's totally what "hardly" means. Unless we're talking about how your mom likes getting humped.
He probably would have shit in the floor anyway.
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