Monday, June 14, 2010

I Wonder If This Will Give Me A Yeast Infection

I wrote a long and actually quite serious post this morning, but I decided to save that one for tomorrow in order to share this with you instead. You’re welcome.

I just went to the ladies room and all the stalls were full and I opened a new tampon and then dropped it on the floor and it rolled out under the stall and I was so panicked that I didn’t pull up my pants before I ran out there to pick it up. And then I had to use it because I only brought one with me to the bathroom. So now I have office bathroom floor in my vagina.

I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried, people.

31 comments:

Heather said...

5 second rule? That made me cringe... LoL but I guess desperate times and yadda yadda yadda. I think I still win with the time I used a sock and walked around with only one sock on for about an hour cuz I didn't want BOTH of my feet to stink...

Kim said...

This post is more awesome 'cause my husband just walked by and caught a glimpse-- way to trigger that gag reflex!

Ed said...

You act like thats the worst that's been in there.

ZING!

Moooooog35 said...

..and that's the day I gouged my face out with a fork.

Kurt said...

I wonder what the weather is like in Bangladesh today. (*whistles like he's trying too hard to ignore this post*)

One Blonde Girl said...

Ewww... good stuff. Kind of reminds me about the time I couldn't find any TP at work. B.Y.O.T.P.

Sarah P said...

I'd still hit it.

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

omgggggggg. fucking barf city.

my vagina just cringed and ran out the door.

Twisted Susan said...

I can't top Ed's comment.

Megs said...

I hope you don't die of Toxic Shock Syndrome.

On the other hand, I'm assuming it has an applicator so maybe that makes it less disgusting?

Yeah, no. It doesn't. But maybe it means you won't get horrible vagina rot?

The Vegetable Assassin said...

You know, someone should invent a little acronym or phrase for posts that are NOT SAFE TO READ WHILE EATING.:)

Seriously though, who hasn't done something like that? I mean there are times where desperate measures are called for when the alternative is bleeding heavily on your lovely knicker elastic, am I right? I think I'm right. If I'm not right, just forget I mentioned it...

Also I laughed out loud at Ed's comment. I guess he had to be funny sooner or later. OH ZING! :)

Lindsay said...

I'd rather walk around with toilet paper shoved in my panties as make-shift pad, than use a tampon that had rolled onto the bathroom floor.

I'm scared for your life.

And your vagina.

Rebekah Mae said...

This, Is EXACTLY why I'm glad that 1) my purse is large enough to hide two tampons and a pad( in case times get tough) and 2) that my College bathrooms are filled with tampon dispensers

Logical Libby said...

Oh, please. I think we've all had worse things in our vaginas.

I know Kim has.

Stephanie Meade Gresham said...

This happens to me all the time. Sometimes I drop it on purpose and scrape it around with my shoe just so my vagina will have some extra "seasoning" for later.
Because I care.

Daffy said...

Ummm...yeah....that made me cringe but then I'm a germaphobe. Great visual though! I usually VERY carefully open the end of the tampon with the string, place the tip of the string between my teeth as to ensure I do not drop it....yeah...I'm really anal that way. But if you had ever seen the bathroom floor where I work? Umm...yeah...I'd totally wrap my finger in kleenex and walk around plugging my own hole for the entire day before I'd pick up a tropped tampon.

♫ Songbird ♫ said...

Lmao - live and learn! Last year I was on a flight back home from vacation and got my period (completely unprepared) and totally bled all over the seat..I had to beg the flight attendant to push me to baggage in a wheelchair (and of course, it was a fucking DUDE) so nobody would see how totally gross the back of my pants were. Most. embarassing. experience. ever. I now carry an entire infantry of tampons in my purse at all times. lol

bikinfool said...

A - Hats off to Ed. Nice!!

B - Glad I'm a guy, glad I'm a guy, glad I'm a guy . . .

Toe said...

Oh My God. This is totally up there with things I wish I didn't know.

cfoxes33 said...

I'm sorry but it made me giggle a lot. At my desk in the receptionist area. I'm trying to control it, but I needed this laugh today. Sorry it was at your expense, though.

Miss Yvonne said...

Heather: Hmmm, I don't know. Maybe if you rubbed your sock in some garbage first..then you'd be the winner for sure.

Kim: What is it with men and periods? They're terrified. I mean, come on...it's just a little blood and uterus lining. Geesh.

Ed: I learned everything I know from your mom.

Moooooog35: Hey, this post could have been worse. I could have mentioned uterus mucus. Oh, lookie there...I just did.

Kurt: The weather in Bangladesh is hot and muggy. Just like where my bathroom floor tampon is. Boo ya.

One Blonde Girl: Quick thinking with the carboard. But no way am I shoving that up there.

Sarah P: You are a wise woman.

You're Lucky: Glad I made your day...byeee!!

Twisted Susan: Now now...you're gonna make Ed's ego explode. Eeewwww.

Megs: I'm confident that I will not get horrible vagina rot because my vagina has super powers. My vagina could totally kick rot's ass.

Veg Assassin: You foreigners have very delicate senses, huh? Good thing I didn't mention uterus mucus. Again.

Lindsay: Don't be scared for my vagina. My vagin is hardcore, yo.

Rebekah Mae: My purse is full of tampons too, but I only put one in my bra when I go to the bathroom at work so I don't have to carry the purse. This is something they teach you after you graduate from college.

Logical Libby: Zing!

Stephanie M Gresham: You? Are awesome. So's your vagina.

Daffy: Did you know your mouth has more germs than a bathroom floor? It totally does. Wait, maybe I'm thinking of cats mouths. Meh, whatevs.

Songbird: Holy hell...that's just awful. I can't even make fun of your story, it's just too terrible. I think I'll call you bloody butt from now on, m'kay?

bikinfool: My husband says that me all the time.

Toe: Oh come on, it's not that bad. It's not like I mentioned my uterus mucus. hee hee!

cfoxes33: Don't feel bad, it made me laugh too. Even my vagina is hilarious.

curring yeast infection pronto said...

this would cure yeast infection pronto!!!

click here

Heather said...

Okay, but what about that one time I had to... Nope I got nothing. Uterus lining!

Also, I go to Dallas ALL THE EFFIN TIME so I will totally let you know next time.

Didactic Pirate said...

According to my high school Health Ed teacher, you can totally get pregnant that way.

AtYourCervix said...

The vagina is a self-cleaning organ. You should be ok.

Or not.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

My dad used to say, when we'd drop something on the floor, "Kiss it up to God," which meant kiss it, then hold it up to God and it's okay to eat. I would suggest you do that with your tampon, but I'm sure God would be like, "Um...no thanks! *eye roll*"

SumSum said...

That's why it has a plastic outer shell for safety...but if you need a good deal on valtrex let me know.

Writing Womb said...

hmmm let's hope you don't get pregnant...what would that turn out to be? Like a cyclops of dwight and michael from the office that would be fun!

if that was my last tampon, i might of done the same thing or i probably would of used it as an excuse to just go home early and call it a day...kind of like if you see a black cat on your path, just go back to bed and start fresh the next morning!

♫ Songbird ♫ said...

LMAO I would sport that nickname like a champ. And I just thought I should add that the word I had to type for verifcation to post this comment was "porking". Awesome.

Cassie said...

Oh. my. God. You poor, poor thing.. I feel like you need to go to get a checkup now LOL

Qoddess said...

You've been quoted!

http://qoddessquotesblogs.blogspot.com/2010/06/quotes-june-27-2010.html