I've named the new roommates Eco Nazi and Kool Aid. Okay, Captain Carl named them...but this is my blog so we'll just say I named them.
Last night, Eco Nazi came downstairs and asked me if I had any spray paint they could use. Ummmmm, what? I immediately had a vision of him and Kool Aid huffing away in their room and then grabbing their fish and jumping out the window in an aerosol-induced mind bender. So even though we do have spray paint, I told him no. Then I asked the logical question. "Are you high or just a moron?" Just kidding, I didn't ask that. I did ask him why he wanted it though and he said that they wanted to paint their house keys so they could tell them apart. Because apparently they are janitors and have one of those big key rings with 25 keys on it.
I suggested nail polish instead. He said that Kool Aid did have some of that. He got half way up the stairs and then said "Do you have any nail polish with color, because hers is clear and that probably won't work." Genius. The kid is a genius.
So I pulled out my container of nail polish for him. He starts looking through it and sees that it is mostly shades of red and pink. He voices his disappointment that I didn't have any that he considered to be "fire engine red". Sigh. So I pull out an orange and a blue and he likes those. He calls Kool Aid down, and they proceed to spend 20 minutes sitting in the kitchen doing something with their keys and nail polish. Seriously, 20 minutes. They tell me they are going to leave them there to dry and head upstairs. So of course, I go see what they were up to and almost fall on the floor trying to hold my laughter in. The brain trust didn't just put a drop of nail polish on the top of the keys, nor did they just paint the whole top. Instead they painted the whole key blue and painted the little part on the top that had the key number on it orange. So it was like some kind of art project.
I'm a little worried for them. What will they do when all that nail polish flakes off after they stick them in the lock a few times? They'll be out there on the front porch, just pacing back and forth and freaking out about which key to try.
Tonight they told us they were going to the mall so Kool Aid could look for a receptionist job.
A receptionist job. At the mall.
True story.
Slow Down
4 days ago
10 comments:
OOOHHHHHHHHHHH......this is so much fun already!!!
You could write a book from blogging about them!!! Money problems better!
Holy crap! First of all their names are absolute genius!! The polish will wear off the bottom of the key. Maybe they don't have much experience putting things in holes multiple times. LOL!! ;)
I know, that sounded dirty!!
Good grief, Miss Yvonne! I'm so looking forward to your next post, I just might quit my job in anticipation!!!!!!!
BTW-I need a receptionist job at the mall.
That would be the most perfect job, like EVER!!!!!
Hugs and love, T
I'm just wondering what they would have done artistcally to little keys with a big arse can of spray paint??LOL
Haha. I'm highly interested in the adventures to come.
OH, GOOD LORD! I'M ROLLING MY EYES AT THEIR STUPIDITY ALREADY. CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT POST!
Screw my email, Facebook, and the newspaper...Your blog is going to be the first thing I read EVERY MORNING until these kids move out. I'm with Lulu, you can totally solve all money woes by writing a book about them. Hmm. With the money, you could get rid of them, but you need them for more material. Hmm...Quite a quandary.
Um, and it is now my goal to make everyone I know read about your antics with the new roomies. Keep 'em coming!
http://tibbsfamily.blogspot.com/
I am going to paint my keys with nail polish when I get home. I will be getting home late, since I am going to the mall to apply for a receptionist job. Actually, I will be getting to the mall late since I am having my hair dyed purple. I read somewhere that sprucing up your resume...and dying your hair an unnatural color will give you an edge over the other candidates...maybe that was to work in Hot Topic. Then again, I would like to work in Hot Topic, so maybe the purple hair isn't such a bad idea. Maybe if I get the receptionist job...I can work my way to Hot Topic cashier!
I just discovered your blog, and I'm practically peeing in my pants - not because i drank a lot and had to hold it in, but because you are outrageously hilarious. You are my hero.
Robyn
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