I've named the new roommates Eco Nazi and Kool Aid. Okay, Captain Carl named them...but this is my blog so we'll just say I named them.
Last night, Eco Nazi came downstairs and asked me if I had any spray paint they could use. Ummmmm, what? I immediately had a vision of him and Kool Aid huffing away in their room and then grabbing their fish and jumping out the window in an aerosol-induced mind bender. So even though we do have spray paint, I told him no. Then I asked the logical question. "Are you high or just a moron?" Just kidding, I didn't ask that. I did ask him why he wanted it though and he said that they wanted to paint their house keys so they could tell them apart. Because apparently they are janitors and have one of those big key rings with 25 keys on it.
I suggested nail polish instead. He said that Kool Aid did have some of that. He got half way up the stairs and then said "Do you have any nail polish with color, because hers is clear and that probably won't work." Genius. The kid is a genius.
So I pulled out my container of nail polish for him. He starts looking through it and sees that it is mostly shades of red and pink. He voices his disappointment that I didn't have any that he considered to be "fire engine red". Sigh. So I pull out an orange and a blue and he likes those. He calls Kool Aid down, and they proceed to spend 20 minutes sitting in the kitchen doing something with their keys and nail polish. Seriously, 20 minutes. They tell me they are going to leave them there to dry and head upstairs. So of course, I go see what they were up to and almost fall on the floor trying to hold my laughter in. The brain trust didn't just put a drop of nail polish on the top of the keys, nor did they just paint the whole top. Instead they painted the whole key blue and painted the little part on the top that had the key number on it orange. So it was like some kind of art project.
I'm a little worried for them. What will they do when all that nail polish flakes off after they stick them in the lock a few times? They'll be out there on the front porch, just pacing back and forth and freaking out about which key to try.
Tonight they told us they were going to the mall so Kool Aid could look for a receptionist job.
A receptionist job. At the mall.
On Becoming My Grandmother
1 month ago